A Magnolia Tree Blossoms
by pwm61
Summary: This is a story of a little girl's battle with leukemia, as told by her older sister. How Rebecca never let anything get in the way of her illness, as she decided to help those around her. Follow Rebecca's story, as she continues to fight her battle, as she becomes loved by a nation. A story that will tug at your heart, and and help you to believe and not give up your dreams.
1. Chapter 1

In The Beginning

I was told that I was a special winter baby, but also that it was a long strained birth that my mother endured. My mother told me that she was in labour for around nine hours, before I even started to show signs of coming into this world. I was a late birth as I was supposed to be born around the 27th December 1977, but did not surface till Tuesday January 3rd 1978. It was a cold day on that day when I popped my head into the world, with the nurses telling my mother that I had a good set of lungs on me with the amount of screaming that I did. Mother also told me that as soon as I was born, they placed me in her hands, in which she could not believe she had given birth to such a big baby. I weighed in at around ten pounds, and mother was told by the nurses that I was a very healthy strong child; even though I was the biggest baby born for such a long time at the hospital. We lived in a four bedroomed Victorian house in a quiet street in Haggerston, London. My father was born in Ramsgate, and my mother was East London born and bred, as she was born in Stepney. The first few years of my life, my mother told me that I was a very good child; as I rarely got on mothers nerves so I was told as father often winked at me when mother said this to me. It was only when I started to walk, did my mother have to have eyes in the back of her head. Apparently I was forever going into the cupboards, and made a disarray of things by throwing everything onto the floor making such a mess.

Every year we had a holiday in Ramsgate, where we visited my father's parents. My mother's mother died when she was twenty years old, and her father remarried and then moved to Essex with his new wife. Her older brother Stephen had married a Spanish lady and he moved to one of the Spanish islands. She still has contact with him, but we never got to see him as much, just like her father although he was only in Essex and could easily have visited us. My uncle Stephen never went to his dad's wedding, as he was against it, and mother said it was because he was a mother's boy. My father's parents looked upon my mother as their own child, always being there for her when she needed help and support; as my dad was their only child. There was nothing that my grandparents would not do for my mother, and you could see just how much she too loved them. Growing up, mother never really spoke about her mother, but she always had a picture of her on top of the china cabinet; where every birthday and Christmas she would place a rose next to her picture. I did not remember those early holiday years in Ramsgate that clearly, but I do remember when I was about four years of age sitting on the beach with my bucket and spade; as my father and mother helped me to build sandcastles. We would always go to Ramsgate at the same time every year for two weeks, which was in the industrial holidays of July to August. We would also go down on the odd weekend or so when my parents managed to get the same period of time off together.

Father started his working career as a bank clerk in one of the leading banks in Ramsgate, finally getting a managerial role in one of the company's banks in London's East End, where it was there that he met my mother. My mother worked for a busy ladies wear factory in the finance department; and often went into father's bank to pay money in from her company. It was there that father swept mother off her feet, and a few years after they married; I came along. I was told that my father was very old fashioned, and he courted my mother for about a year before asking her to marry him. Mother told me that every week without fail; he would bring her a bouquet of flowers; which were her favourite chrysanthemums, as well as sometimes bringing her a box of luxury chocolates. Mother also told me that at first she thought dad did not like her, as it took him so long to get his act together. It took him just over six months before he even kissed her, and she was beginning to give up, as she so longed for that first kiss. Mind you I knew she was only joking, as I knew my parents were just as much in love now; as they were all those years ago; as every time we were out they still held hands as father looked on like a proud peacock. I just loved those first few years of going to my grandparents, and spending time on the beach with them. As well as just sitting in the garden playing will my dolls, as I watched grandpa toddle about in the garden; and where he would stop and pull faces at me which always used to make me laugh.

I had started mothers and toddlers in the September of my 4th year, ready to get prepared for infant and junior school. I loved being in school, as I got to see a lot more children with whom I could play with, without going around their homes; as I used to play with the girl next door called Vicky who was not always a nice little girl. My mother would not let me go round to her house as often as I would have liked too, because one day she saw her pulling wings of butterflies, and pulling the legs off daddy longlegs which mother thought was so cruel. I did not mind too much however, because I did have friends at school; and I was quite content playing in the garden with my dolls.


	2. Birth Of A new Baby

Birth Of A New Baby

We had just got Christmas out of the way, and we were going to spend New Year with grandma and grandpa. I was very excited, as it meant another Christmas tree with presents underneath; as my grandparents kept all the presents there waiting for us. Throughout my childhood, he would say that Father Christmas thought that she had too many presents under her own tree; that he had to deliver to their address just so that he could have an extra cookie and glass of milk. It also meant another Christmas dinner and crackers and games, which grandpa always made me laugh when we played games to amuse ourselves. Grandpa was a silly man, but he always had time to play with me; even if it meant that he was playing with my dolls; he always made me laugh no matter what. Grandma was more serious, and spent most of her time knitting. Not to say that she did not play with me or enjoy me being there, because she did. It was more the fact she was not as silly as grandpa, and grandma often called him a big kid and that he should act his age. This always made mother and father laugh, as it was true and he was even sillier than my father. It was whilst I was having a weekend with grandma and grandpa, that whilst I was sat at the dinner table mother made an announcement. We had just sat down to have dinner, when my father tapped his glass with his pen; as he told me to put my fork down as I was just about to start eating, also reminding me that before we eat, it is traditional to say grace; and be thankful for what is on the table. We were not a religious family, but father always insisted that we say grace on a Sunday, and always whilst we are at my grandparents. He then made a speech for New Year, thanking them for their presents and for always being there for us. Then he ended by clearing his throat, as he said that mother has something to say. Mother got up, and by now you could see that she was excited.

"Come on dear, what is the surprise?" Grandpa asked, as he fidgeted just like an excited boy waiting for a bag of sweets to appear

"We are having a new baby." Mother told us, as my grandparents were over the moon with joy; and as grandpa jumped in the air and congratulated father, before going over to congratulate mother.

"Where is the new baby mommy?" I asked, as I started to look around the lounge

"The new baby is in mommy's tummy." She replied, as she held her tummy gently stroking it.

"You mean you have eaten the baby mommy?" I said very shocked

"No Amanda. The baby is growing inside mommy's tummy." She giggled

"How did it get in your tummy mommy?" I said

"The baby angels put it there Amanda, would you like to touch my tummy?" She asked me

I put my hands together as I clapped them, telling my mother that I would like to touch our new baby. So I placed my hand onto mother's tummy, and then lowered my head where I then said.

"Hello little baby, I am your sister Amanda."

Well my grandparents were over the moon, and once grandpa had settled down after grandma had told him to; he went to the drinks cupboard and brought out a bottle of champagne.

"I was saving this for Amanda's wedding, but we may as well have it now to celebrate." Grandpa said.

"I will have a whisky dad, champagne gives me acid." Dad replied

"Ok son, you know where the whisky is; and as you are having one you may as well pour me one. Let the ladies have this posh stuff." Grandpa said

Grandma called me over, and as she wrapped her arms around me, she handed me her glass as she let me have a drink of her champagne, and I can remember pulling such a face; and telling them that it was horrible. They all laughed at me, and then grandpa offered me his glass of whisky.

"No thank you grandpa, I am going to have a glass of cola; because I like that. I don't like what you are drinking, or what grandma is drinking because it is horrible." I said, as I stamped my feet and crossed my arms.

"That's a good girl; this is really bad for you anyway Amanda." Grandpa said

"Then why do you drink it if it is bad for you?" I replied, rather inquisitively.

"She is very clever this one son. We drink it because it is nice." He told me, and he then gave me a kiss with his whisky breath

My mother then told us that the new baby would be due to arrive by the end of June. I was so excited, that I put my arms around my mother and told her that I loved her so much; and I hoped that she had another baby girl so that I could have a sister to play with. It was a day of celebrations for my parents and my grandparents that day, not forgetting me; as I must have drunk so much fizzy pop I could have exploded.

Although the first few years of my life are just a distant memory, what I can start to remember clearly was the time I started the infant and junior school, which was four months after mother told me she was having another baby. Going to mothers and toddlers for the last six months to get me prepared for schools really did help, as mother thought I may not take to it that well as I was always with her. This time I would not be going to school for just a few hours, I would be at infant school; and would be there till 3.30pm. This was short lived, as arriving at the school I was very excited to go into the playground with the other children. Some of which I recognised from pre-school, and some I recognised from where I lived.

The school was of red brick and had a very large pointed roof with a clock in the centre, and below that it had a stone plaque which read A.D 1851. The school was surrounded by a brick wall, which had iron railings within the brickwork; so that the children could still see their parents and wave to them as they went along their merry way. I was marched through the gates, as I was a curious child and often stopped to take things in; and mother always seemed to call me a slowcoach. We walked up the three steps to the main entrance, and then mother walked me down the long corridor; with doors appearing all the way along the corridor like bedrooms in a house. I could hear the noise of other children, and wondered why I did not go straight into the classroom, which was explained to me by mother; that I had to go and see the headmistress first before being allowed to go to class. I sat outside her office, as mother and I waited to be attended too. Just then a lady came out of the room with a big door that had no windows like the classroom doors; where she invited mother and me inside. After getting inside her office, mother then introduced me to her.

"Mrs Roberts, this is my daughter Amanda, and she is to start infant school today."

"Very nice to meet you Amanda, I hope you will be happy here at our lovely school." She said, as she looked down at me with her strange glasses sticking on the end of her nose.

"I am very excited and cannot wait to see where my class is." I said as I jumped up and clapped my hands in excitement

After all the formalities had been discussed, the headmistress looked at me and told me to say goodbye to my mother. So I looked at her and gave her a kiss, as I waved and told her goodbye. Mother then told me that she would be back at the school around 3pm to pick me back up, and she hoped I enjoyed my day. The headmistress then took hold of my hand, as I saw my mother walk down the corridor; turning around at the very end before the double doors.

"I love you mommy." I said, waving my hand and blowing her a kiss.

"I love you too Amanda, now you be a good girl." She replied, as I saw her get her handkerchief out and wipe her face.

The headmistress then took me a short journey down the corridor, where she then knocked on the door and walked in where she said.

"Good morning Miss Higgins, this is Amanda Daniels; she will be joining your classroom today."

"Good morning headmistress and good morning Amanda, now where do I put you?" She replied, scratching her head as she looked around the classroom.

"I will leave her with you then Miss Higgins, now you be a good girl Amanda, and I hope you settle in nicely." She told me, as she then walked out of the room.

"I know I will put you on the table in the corner with Gregory, Alison and Susan." She told me, as she walked me through the classroom dodging in between the other children.

I was introduced to the children, who in turn all welcomed me to Miss Higgins' classroom; where I then sat down next to April and Susan.

"My name is April and this is my brother Gregory, who is also my twin." April said.

"Hello April, my name is Amanda, and my mommy is having a baby very soon; so I hope it is a sister so I can look after her and play with her. Hello Gregory, hello Susan." I replied, now very excited.

Once we had all been introduced, the teacher placed some books on my desk which were just for me. I had lots of books to write in, which I could take home; or leave in my desk, which was much bigger than the desks in playschool and this time the desk was mine and no one else would use it.

"I am so glad I am not in Vicky Stephens' class." I told April

"Who is Vicky Stephens?" Greg asked me, all puzzled as he just opened his spelling book.

"Vicky Stephens is the girl who lives next door to me, and she is not nice at all; and she is in Miss Samuels class I think." I replied, as Greg passed me a pencil that he had just sharpened.

"Why did you not want to be in her class then?" April asked me, as she placed her arms on the desk and lay on them a she looked up at me.

"Well, because she pulls wings off butterflies; and that is so cruel mommy says." I replied.

"How do you know she does that?" Susan asked me, not amused at all.

"Because she lives next door, and I saw her when we used to play together in the garden. Mommy will not let me play with her anymore, because she says she is a wicked little girl, and she lifts her dress up and shows her knickers to the boys." I said, now with a face grimacing like I had just eaten a very sour sweet.

"That's so rude, my mommy would shout at me if I did anything like that." Replied April, as Greg started to giggle

"It is not funny Gregory, it is very rude. That is something no little girl should do, because it is not ladylike mommy said." I replied, pointing my finger at him as though I had just told him off.

He just sank his head down into his books as he giggled a few times, as the teacher then wrote some words on the board for us to copy. That was the beginning of what was to become a very close friendship, as the days unfolded.

When we were in the playground, the three of us all sat together, as Susan went to look for her big sister who was in the junior section of the school. Greg, April and I would just sit and laugh; as well as play hopscotch and skipping. We were all developing a very strong bond, and wherever April and I were; Greg was never far behind; and I think he did it more because he protected his sister quite a lot; and I think he just enjoyed looking after the pair of us. I can remember once whilst Greg had just gone to the boys toilets, April and I were sitting on the grass making daisy chains; when these two boys came up to us. They stamped on a few daisies that we had picked, so that we could not pick them up or use them; as they started calling us silly names and throwing the trodden daisies at us. It was then that Greg looked over and noticed what was going on, where he quickly rushed over to us.

"Hey, what are you doing?" He shouted at them

"What's it to do with you?" They replied, as they continued stamping on the flowers.

"Well she is my sister, and she is my friend." Greg replied, now standing over us.

"AND!" they shouted

"And, leave them alone because they are with me." He said, as he stood in the face of one of the boys.

"Hit him, hit him Josh; he is a girl." One of the boys said, egging his friend on.

Just then the boy pulled his fist back, and before he could do anything Greg pushed the boy to the ground. He again told them to leave us girls alone, and before anything escalated into a fight the playground teacher came over to break things up. She scolded all of the boys telling them that there would be no fighting, and if they continued they would go to the headmistress's office. It did not end there, as a few times these boys kept antagonising us; where Greg came to our rescue. The only time it stopped was when Greg retaliated as he had finally had enough of them so he clenched his hand and landed his fist on Josh's chin. He was so in trouble with the headmistress, but he said it was worth it as he never liked those boys anyway; and they did leave us all alone from that day forward. That was the first time that Greg was my knight in shining armour, but it was not the last time he came to our rescue. Over the coming months I saw mother's tummy getting bigger, and noticed how uncomfortable she got at times. I helped out as much as I could by doing the dishes once we had all finished dinner, and helped out again before I went out to play in the garden, or with April. Finally mother went into hospital to give birth to our new baby. She told me that her labour was not as long as mine and she told me that she had a much easier birth, but it was still a stressful time for her as she felt much more drained with this pregnancy. When the baby arrived, she was told that it was a baby girl, and that she was a beautiful baby. She cried just the once when she was born, and once placed in mother's arms she never cried again; which was the total opposite of how I was, as I cried for a considerable amount of time I was told. Mother asked me what she should call her, and I just said Rebecca; so mother named her Rebecca Louise. Louise was after her own mother's middle name. Rebecca was born on Friday June 24th 1983, and I was so happy that I had a baby sister because we could play girly games together, and dress up; as well as playing with our dolls in the garden. I did not really like boys because they were very noisy, and they never understood girls; none of the boys were like Greg as he was different as he was the only boy who understood, and I think it was because he was close to his sister and having her as his twin that made him understand. Mother did not stay long in hospital, and whilst she was there; father and I made sure the house was clean and tidy, and that the bedroom was ready for mother. They never threw the cot out which they had for me, as they stored it in the garage and forgot about it; so it came in handy. Father just had to give it a clean, and then put it back together and place it in their bedroom ready for when mother and Rebecca got home.


	3. Visiting Uncle Stephen

Visiting Uncle Stephen

Mother and father had been discussing a holiday once the baby arrived for a few months now, as father thought it would help mother to relax a little more. Instead of our usual holiday with my grandparents, they both had decided to visit mother's brother in Spain. It had been many years since they had seen each other, and apart from the phone calls and letters; that was the only contact mother had with them. Father thought that this year was too soon, as Rebecca was only a few months old, so they decided to go in the Easter of the following year and I would be six years old.

"So Amanda, would you like to go on a big plane and visit Uncle Stephen?" Mother asked, as she began to brush my hair as she usually did.

"I would like that very much; does he still live in Spain?" I asked

"Yes Amanda, he lives in Tenerife." Mother replied

"Tenerife? You said he lives in Spain mommy." I said as I questioned her.

"Tenerife is one of the Spanish islands Amanda' it is a little longer to fly to than mainland Spain, but at least you have got lots of beaches; and of course your cousins to play with." She said

"When are we going mommy." I asked

"We will go in the Easter holidays Amanda; daddy will go and book the tickets over the weekend." She told me

"But we go to grandmas and grandpas in the Easter holidays." I replied

"I know, but this is going to be a special holiday, as we very rarely see your uncle Stephen." She replied

Well I was very excited, as I had never been on a plane before; and from that day I kept telling everyone about the new holiday I was going on, and how I would be going on a big aeroplane. Over the coming months, mother started buying things to take over; like new clothes and toys for the children. I got a new suitcase which was yellow with a picture of a big bumble bee on the front of the case. I loved yellow, as it reminded me of the daisies and sunflowers in the front garden, and the daisy chains April and I made at school. Mother then made sure that all of my clothes went into the big suitcase, and I just had my pyjamas and dolls, as well as all my colouring books and pens in my little case. Father had been into the travel agents, and he had booked our flights; and it was only then that I knew we were really going, and I was even more excited than before. We had to wait for a few months before the tickets were printed, but I kept checking the post every day. Finally the day had arrived, and I had to go to bed early so that I could get up early; as we have a very early flight. I had never been up so early in my life, well except for Christmas when I want to see if Father Christmas had visited. We were booked on the 7am flight, and we had to get to Gatwick at four in the morning. Mother said that if I was tired I could sleep on the plane, but I was far too excited to go to sleep, as this was my biggest adventure by far. As we were in the airport, mother and father went to one of the many food shops and ordered breakfast, which I had some marmalade and toast and a drink of orange. Mother and father had their regular and an adult's breakfast. I could not eat what they had as their plates were so big, and mommy knew I would waste a lot of the food. After breakfast we walked around the shops on the top level, before going through the barriers where some security men checked our bags. Me being me was very inquisitive and asked what they were doing, to which the man told me that they were just making sure we did not have anything dangerous in our bags. I then began telling him about this being my first time on a plane, to which he smiled. He could see I was excited, and he told me I would have a lot of fun, and that if I sat by a window I could see all the buildings become smaller and how the clouds would look like cotton wool. Once we were in the lounge where lots of people were waiting for their planes, there were lots of more shops, just like the ones in London, but undercover so you never got caught in the bad weather. We went into this big shop that had lots of perfumes, and mother brought a bottle for herself and one for Uncle Stephen's wife. As we walked around the shop a little more, father picked up some cigarettes and some whisky for him and Uncle Stephen; although father did not smoke. I had my own money, and I brought myself a few comics and sweets for the journey. My grandparents gave me a lot of money, when I went to visit them the week before; and mother said that fifty pounds was a lot of money, and I must be careful not to lose it; so it was put in my small purse inside my bag; which also had a bumble bee on it. So after a walk around the shops in the airport, we just waited until our plane was ready; as father walked me to the big windows to see the aeroplanes all stacked up in a line. I can remember telling my father how big these planes looked, and got excited when I saw some of them move to the far distance ready to take off. I placed my hands over my ears a few times, when I heard the roar of the engines; and held onto my father's trousers as the plane started to take off. There were lots of children in the airport, and lots of noisy babies; except for Rebecca as she was always asleep. Mother said she could sleep through anything, as not a lot of noises woke her; unlike me who was woken by the slightest of noises. Just then two ladies stood at the desk where we were seated, and then overhead screen showed our flight details. We only had our flight bags, as our suitcases had been handed to the flight staff on the lower ground, before we came upstairs. I did ask father several times why they had to take our cases, and why could we not have them ourselves. He soon cleared the matter up, and explained that they had to be placed in the aircraft; and not to worry as we would pick them up once we got to Tenerife.

It was not long before I was seated on the plane, and I sat in between mother and father. Mother had Rebecca in a baby holster, so she did not need her own seat as they would take it in turns to hold her. Once we had got settled and everyone was on board, the plane's crew came around to check us as we were told to put on our safety belts as the plane was about to depart once all the checks had been done. Now I was extremely excited, as father had to tell me to calm down a few times; as I started to pester him. The noise of the engine scared me, and so I held on to fathers hand tightly as he told me that everything would be fine. The next thing I knew we were on our way, and once the plane had lifted off my tummy went all strange; just like I had butterflies. Once we were safe in the air, and our belts we safe to remove; my father asked me if I wanted to sit on his lap and look out of the window. I jumped at the chance, as I had never been so high up in the air before; and I could see all the tiny buildings and boats, and I was amazed. Mother placed Rebecca on my seat so that she could have a rest, and as Rebecca was fast asleep she was easily placed on my seat with no trouble at all. Father had booked the seats with extra room, so that they were not cramped, and I could walk freely by them without bumping into anyone. I was content to sit on fathers lap, listening to my cassettes that I had brought along with my very own headphones. Mother had packed a few story cassettes, but I liked my music ones better; and I had quite a few to choose from in my backpack. I was very happy looking out of the window, listening to music whilst I sat contentedly on fathers lap. Not long into the flight they played a film, but this was more for adults than us children, so I continued having a cuddle from father; as I sat there quietly. We then had a stewardess come over to see if mother and father wanted a cup of tea or coffee, and like good old fashioned English people, it was always tea. I was given a small glass of orange, as father gave me a piece of his biscuit; then they brought our dinners, and they were horrible. Father tried to persuade me a few times to eat my meal, but it was over cooked and warm. I think all I ate was my apple and my bread roll, the rest I left on the drop tray and told my mother that I did not like it. Mother did not mind although she did say it was wasteful, but she did not tell me off because she knew I was also excited about the whole holiday away from home scenario. Mother did call out towards the lady to ask for a packet of crisps for me, which I did like. Next thing I knew father was waking me up, to tell me to sit back in my seat and put on my belt as we were about to land. I guess being up so early did have that effect on me, as I do not remember falling asleep. The landing I did not like as it was very bumpy, and as we were coming lower to the ground my ears kept popping. I was so glad when we had landed, and we had got off the plane. The weather was very hot, and I was grateful to mother for leaving out my yellow dress and cardigan; although I never needed my cardigan because I was so warm. Finally we got inside the airport, where we all had to stand in a queue as we waited to go through to collect our suitcases. Father had fetched a large shopping trolley which was just for suitcases, and he placed all of our cases onto the trolley as we made our way through the airport; where Uncle Stephen was waiting for us. Some of the other people on the flight went onto some coaches, and as there were a lot of noisy children; father was so relieved that we did not have to suffer them anymore as some of them had not stopped all through the flight. Uncle Stephen had a big car, which he needed as he had three children.

"Look Amanda, there's Uncle Stephen." Mother said

"Where mommy?" I replied excitedly

"Over there Amanda, the man in the white shorts and red top." Mother said, as she put her arms by my shoulders and pointed me towards his direction

"Oh I can see him." I said, as I saw him waving his hand.

I ran out of the airport and into Uncle Stephen's arms.

"Uncle Stephen, Uncle Stephen." I shouted

"Hello Amanda, my goodness you have grown." He replied, as he held his arms out for me to run into

I am six now, I was six in January and thank you for my birthday card and Christmas presents." I said

"Come here you little darling." He said as he picked me up.

Then mother and father got to him, as he put me down and gave them a hug.

"It's been a long time sis; you have not changed a bit." He said.

"And look at you all tanned, I hardly recognised you Stephen. Spain has certainly done you the world of good, just look at you." She said as she hugged him again

"Stephen, it is so nice to see you." Dad said as he shook his hand then gave him a hug.

"Ted, it is nice to see you too. Hope all is well?" He replied

"And this must be little Rebecca, she is gorgeous Ted, and look at her still fast asleep." He said

"Becca has just turned one; it was her birthday two weeks ago." I told him

"I know, your mommy told me." He replied, as again he picked me up.

"Right shall we get out of here? The car is just outside in the car park." He said.

"Sounds like a good idea; I could murder a cup of tea Stephen." Mother said

"Ah yes the airline tea, it is not very nice." He replied

"You're telling me, it nearly took the lining off my throat I think." Mother replied

Uncle Stephen took my hand, as I pulled my suitcase; as we then all departed the airport. Uncle Stephen then drove the short journey to where he lived, and I thought it was strange as he was on the opposite side of the road driving. I did ask my father why he was on the wrong side of the road, and he just told me that really he was on the right side, and we in the UK drove on the wrong side. Unlike a lot of the tourists, they all went to where it was full of holiday makers, but uncle Stephen lived in a quite resort of Tenerife. He lived in Costa Del Silencio, which he told us means 'The Silent Coast.' And it was quiet, with just a few English bars and restaurants, and a small town on the seafront. Uncle Stephen lived closer to the town, with his house over-looking the sea; which was also close enough to the airport and just far enough away from the bustling resorts of Los Cristianos; and Playa de la Americas. When we arrived at uncles Stephen's house, the children were looking out of the window. Uncle then helped dad with the bags, as we went inside his home and were welcomed by his wife and the children; who themselves were very excited. The house was in my favourite colour yellow, and it had white windows and doors; and the house was very big like my house, but it never had all the flowers and trees like we had; and of course we never had a sea view.

"Pam, this is my wife Mariana. Mariana this is my sister Pamela." He said

"Nice to meet you Pamela, hope you had a nice flight?" She replied, as she kissed mother on her cheek

"And this is Ted, my brother in law." Uncle said

"Hola Ted nice to meet you." She replied, again kissing him on the cheek

"And you must be Amanda, we have heard a lot about you." She said as she got on her knees.

"These are my children. This is Sebastian, and this Antonio, and finally my little girl Gabriela." She told me

"Hola Amanda." The children said.

"What's Hola mommy?" I asked

"Hola means hello in Spanish Amanda." She told me

"Then why don't they say hello in English?" I asked

"Because Spanish is their language, like English is our language. They can speak English Amanda, they were just being polite." Mother said

"So do I have to speak Spanish?" I asked

"No Amanda, the children will teach you a few words, but we all will speak English for you." Uncle told me.

When all of the greetings were out of the way, my aunty took me to Gabriela's room; as I was sharing with her. Mom and dad had their own room, as we were told it was the guest room. Then once we unpacked our clothes, the boys came to me and asked if I wanted to go into the pool.

"You have a swimming pool?" I asked

"Yes it is in the back garden, would you like to come and play in the pool."

"Cool, I don't have a pool; just lots of flowers." I replied

"I am Sebastian Amanda, and I am ten years old." He said

"And I am eight." Said Antonio

"I am five, but will soon be six." Spoke Gabriela

"I am six, and my little sister is nearly one. She can't talk Spanish or English yet, but she can say momma and dadda, she still has a long way to go." I told them

I then looked for my bathing suit, and got undressed and put it on, as I then ran down the stairs shouting to my parents that I was going to play in the swimming pool. We had a lot of fun splashing each other, and running around the pool chasing each other. The boys began to show off by dive bombing off the high board, whilst Gabriela and I just sat in the shallow end talking. Uncle Stephen brought out some cold drinks for us, and told the boys to be careful as well as to keep the noise down as they were becoming far too excited. They were not that loud, not like the boys in the school playground; so I expect it was because of the close neighbours they had, not to mention Sebastian climbing the palm tree to jump into the pool; which infuriated Uncle Stephen as he thought it was far too dangerous. Yes they were definitely boys, always thinking they can do things to impress us girls, when really we wanted to be left alone to do our girly things.

After a few hours, mother called for me to come inside, as it was getting a little too hot; and we were about to have lunch. She told me that once we had eaten I had to get dressed as Uncle Stephen was going to take us into town to do some shopping.

"Are the other children coming with us mommy?" I asked, now with a towel wrapped around me like a dressing gown.

"They are indeed Amanda, apart from Aunty Mariana as she is going to clean up and get dinner sorted for all of us tonight; and the other children are your cousins Amanda." She replied, as she dried me down.

"Oh ok mommy, so long as she does not need any help; because I do not mind stopping to help her wash up." I told her.

"That is so lovely of you Amanda, but I am ok. Tomorrow we will all go out together, and finish off going to the beach. You enjoy yourselves and I will see you later, as I have a lot of work to do." She replied, as she gave me a kiss on my cheek.

I then heard mother ask if she was ok, as she would stay behind too; only for Aunty Mariana say it was ok as it gave her a break from the children. I knew what she meant, as mother sometimes liked to be on her own so she let me go around to April and Greg's house for an hour; and as they were not far away she let me walk there on my own. Once mother had finished drying me off, I sat at the table with the other children where we had a light lunch with fruit juice and ice cream. I then went to the bedroom and picked out a pair of pink shorts and pink sandals, with a nice white blouse; where I made my way downstairs.

"You look very pretty Amanda." Said Uncle Stephen: as he smiled at me.

"Very summery and ladylike Amanda." Mother said, as she made sure I had done up my buttons properly

I then heard father say that he had never ever once seen me looking shabby, and that I was very girly when it came to clothes. That if she did not want to wear what mother put out for me, then I would stamp my feet and go to the bedroom and change.

"Oh just like Gabriela, she is a little madam sometimes. This one day she wore her Sunday best to go to the beach, and I was not having it; and goodness did she play up when I told her to change." Aunty Mariana said, as she made sure Gabriela was ready to go.

"Children do make me laugh sometimes, trying to be all grown up and wanting to impress, then come out with some remarks that you cannot help but laugh at; even though they are true." Father explained, now waiting in the doorway for us all to leave.

"You do not mind me leaving Rebecca here with you do you Mariana?" Mother asked.

"Not at all Pam, she is fast asleep anyway; and I will keep checking on her." Aunty Mariana replied.

Mother then told her that she has just prepared her bottle should she wake up, and that her changing things were in the bedroom.

"Just go and enjoy yourselves, and I will see you when you get back." She replied, ushering us out of the door.

We drove to Los Cristianos to where the supermarket was, and they filled up the trolley with food, as well as Uncle Stephen's children shouting excitedly about wanting sweets and crisps; much to his annoyance. Uncle Stephen told them off a few times in Spanish, which I think was not to embarrass mother or father too much.

"You have got plenty of crisps and chocolate at home, now behave yourselves or we will not go to Loro Parque in the week." He said, as he pointed his finger at them.

"What's Loro Park Uncle Stephen?" I asked as I pulled on his sleeve

"It is a park north of the island in Santa Cruz, where there are lots of animals to see." He replied, as he held onto my hand.

"Oh lovely, so is it a zoo then?" I asked

"Yes Amanda." He laughed, as he told my father he had not heard that name for a long time

"Here they are parks Amanda, as not all animals are caged. And they are much bigger and more open than our zoos." Father explained, now holding hands of the two boys as they walked down the food aisles.

Mother had control of the shopping trolley, as Uncle Stephen and father filled it with things they wanted and did not need. With lots of drink and wine for the adults, and some sweets for us children which made Uncle tut. Once we had finished shopping we all got back into the car, and made our way back home. Our parents put the food away, as we all sat in the garden with a fizzy drink and some sweets; before we were all going to go to the local beach to check it out.

I thought that the beach was a funny colour as it was black, and I asked my father if it was dirt. He explained to me that it was volcanic rock, so instead of having a sandy beach like back home; it was a black beach because of the volcano. We sat there for a few hours, as the adults sat down and chatted, whilst we changed to go swimming in the sea. The sea was a lot warmer than it was in Ramsgate, and it was much clearer too. There were not many people on the beach which was nice, as uncle said it would be too crowded by the resorts; but he would take us another day to give our parents a break. You could also still see uncle's house from where we were as they were almost directly on the beach, but for a little road that was only for the local residents. The next little town was Las Galletos which mother went to look at with Aunty Mariana whilst Uncle Stephen and father looked after us.

Instead of eating out at home, or have a picnic like Aunty Mariana had suggested, we waited for them to come back from shopping; before we all got dried off and made our way back to their home to get ready to eat out in the town mother had just visited. I thought we were going to go to one of the English restaurants, that had English menu's; however Uncle Stephen took us to their local Spanish bar, where we all had paella freshly cooked from a very big frying pan. He ordered all the food and drinks in Spanish, which I had no clue what he was saying; as I only recognised the word Hola. I loved chicken and rice, but had never had shrimp before, so this was the first time I was going to try it. Although I screamed when I first saw it on my plate, with its eyes just staring at me, and with it still having its legs sprawled over my plate. Mother had to pick the shrimp off my plate, and shell it so it looked a little better, and I have to say I quite enjoyed it when its legs was removed as it did not look like a monster. Aunty Mariana also had to tell the boys off, as they kept picking up their shrimps and waved them in my face to scare me. Gabriela told me that they used to do that to her, but she got her own back as she found a spider outside and put it down Sebastian's neck, and both boys screamed like girls. We just looked at each other and chuckled together. After we had eaten, we were still seated as we had another glass of cola, whilst Uncle Stephen moved to the seafront wall to have a cigarette. He never liked smoking directly in front of the children, and made sure he was a distant away from them. This was also because Aunty Mariana also did not smoke, and he respected her wishes when she told him to smoke away from us. Father never left him on his own though, as when he got up my dad followed him and started to chat with him. Uncle Stephen and father then re-joined us, when uncle looked at us and said.

"So would you like to go to Loro Parque tomorrow?"

The boys and Gabriela all shouted yes in excitement, when I looked at uncle and said.

"What's Loro Parque Uncle Stephen?"

"Loro Parque is a very large zoo, located on the outskirts of Puerto de la Cruz; which is north of the island. The park houses an extensive and diverse reserve of animals and plants, so it is an ideal attraction for the whole family." Uncle Stephen told us

"But does it have penguins Uncle Stephen?" I asked, as I got rather excited

"Oh yes Amanda, it has a lot of penguins in an enclosure with a real iceberg in the centre." He replied, as he gave me a leaflet showing me all what was at the zoo.

"Then yes I would like to go with you to the park." I replied, now jumping up and down in excitement.

We finished at the restaurant, and then walked back home, as it was not that far away. I held onto Gabriela's hand as we skipped together up the road, whilst the boys kept running too far ahead where they became too boisterous; as uncle and aunty had to call them back a few times. When we got back to Uncle Stephens home, I wanted to play outside for a little while, and mother told me that I could have half an hours play before getting ready for bed.

"You will have a long day tomorrow Amanda, so you will need to go to bed early." She said, as I ran outside to Gabriela and played tag with the boys.

As promised thirty minutes or just over were up, and we all went back into the house where we got showered and changed for bed. In turn I placed my arms around mother and father and uncle and aunty, as I told them I loved them very much; not forgetting to place a kiss on Rebecca's forehead, then told them all goodnight. I then went into the bedroom, as Aunty Mariana tucked us in and again kissed us on the cheek before leaving.

"Por favour mami, deje la puerta abierta un paco." Gabriela said to aunty.

"Ok Gabriela, duerma bien." She replied, as she then looked at me and said.

"Are you ok with the door slightly open Amanda?"

"Yes thank you aunty, I am." I replied, as she came over to me to give me a kiss.

"Duerma bien Amanda." She said kissing me on the cheek

"What's duma ben aunty?" I asked with a puzzled frown

"It is duerma bien, and it means sleep well." She explained, as for the next few seconds I tried repeating what she had said, and she helped me get the words right.

"Nite Nite aunty; and duerma bien." I replied with a smile on my face

"You clever girl Amanda. Duerma bien Amanda; duerma bien Gabriela." She said, as she left the bedroom and pulled the door slightly too

I connected my cassette player to my headphones, and started to listen to my music; which soon started to send me to sleep. I had had quite a busy day, and had another one to follow, so all of the excitement had made me very tired. Next thing I knew, Gabriela was waking me up as she was already up; and told me that breakfast was on the table downstairs. I got up, and still in my pyjamas I went downstairs where I ran into fathers arms.

"Did you sleep well Amanda?" He asked me

"Yes daddy I duerma bien." I replied with a smile on my face.

Well what a look I got. Mother and father sat there with mouths open wide, as Aunty Mariana smiled at me; and Uncle Stephen winked his eye.

"What did you say Amanda?" Mother asked

"I told you I sleep well in Spanish daddy." I replied feeling very proud of myself

"You clever girl Amanda, you are certainly full of surprises." Mother said, as she gave me a tap on the hand.

"Aunty Mariana taught me how to say it last night mommy, she told it to me and Gabriela as she tucked us in." I said, as the boys began speaking a lot now in Spanish.

"No boys, not whilst Aunty Pam and Uncle Ted are here. When we speak to them we speak in English ok." Uncle Stephen said, as he placed their breakfasts on the table.

The boys agreed, even though mother and father said it was ok, as they should not place us above themselves. Uncle replied to mother that they were told to do so out of respect, as they knew we were not fluent in their language.

"They can speak both languages Pam, so it is not as though they do not understand. Besides this is good practice for them to have a fortnight of speaking English, as they get to understand more from you and Ted as they would from just speaking to me." He told them

"That is so nice of them, and maybe they can teach us a few words to just so we can repay the compliment." Father asked.

"Oh I am sure they will, as Sebastian is definitely a talker, and he will talk you till the cows come home." Uncle replied, as he ruffled up Sebastian's hair.

Once we had all finished breakfast, we made our way to uncles car that fitted us all in. Aunty had packed a few things in the boot, including Rebecca's pushchair and of course coats should it get cold. Then we were heading off to the park, which was a very long drive; as we even drove past the airport. As soon as we arrived, the boys were getting excited, as they started me and Gabriela off. Whilst uncle was helping to unload the boot, aunty waited by the car doors, where she grabbed our hands and helped us out. The boys were ok as they managed to get out on their own, then they started to fool around where uncle had to tell them off yet again as they were being boisterous in the car park. Outside the park, it had hedgerows made into elephants which were really cool; and father already had his camera out as he began to make sure there was a film inside, and that the lens cap was not on. Father took a few pictures of me and the other children standing in front of the elephants, and then held our hands as we made our way to the entrance. The entrance had Chinese gates and towers, just like 'The China Palace' restaurant near our home. Once we gave them our tickets we walked into the park, and first looked at all the goldfish that were swimming around in the large pond by the entrance; which father said were Japanese koi, but in my language they were very big goldfish. We then made sure we stayed in our group, as we headed towards the parrots and other birds. When we got to the sea lion show, we were greeted by a big funny clown.

"I thought that this was for sea lions Uncle Stephen?" I told him

"It is Amanda, why do you ask?" He replied

"Because there is a clown there, and I thought the park had captured all the clowns so they had to perform for us." I replied

Uncle Stephen and father could not stop laughing at me, with what I had just said. I could not help it as I had a rather large imagination, but was pleased that he cleared it up because I really wanted to see the sea lions. We all laughed and applauded the show, as the sea lions were very clever, and teased the man who was playing with them. One of the sea lions even got behind him and nudged him into the pool, as the sea lion then started to clap. From there we made our way towards the dolphin area, but as the show had already started, mother thought it would be nice for us to have a rest and a bite to eat. There was a wooden hut, just like you would find in the jungle, and there father and uncle went over to buy drinks, as mother and aunty asked us all what we would like to eat. We all decided to go for burgers and fries, as it was much easier and less hassle for our parents. When they brought them over to us, we children all sat together, whilst our parents had the table opposite just so they could keep an eye on us. The tables were big enough for families, just not two families to sit together, but we did not mind because we were all hungry and tired. When we had all finished, father and uncle cleared the tables, as they finished off talking; so we went to the end of the eating area looking at the plants and flowers, as mother told us not to wander off; as they were still chatting, whilst still drinking tea and coffee.

"Right children, it is time to go to see the dolphins." Aunty shouted.

"Amanda, come and pick up your cardigan from the table." Mother said, as she pointed to where someone else wanted to sit down.

So we all scurried together, and picked our things up apologising to the people who wanted to sit down. Then as I held onto Gabriela's hand, we followed everyone to the dolphin show. This show made us laugh and applaud too, and as we were sitting near the front we got to see the dolphins swim under the water. Then out of the blue, one of the dolphins came close to us and made a big splash; throwing the water out of the pool and over the people next to us. If we had been a few seats over, then we would have got wet. I loved those dolphins, because they were very graceful and also very funny. I could not believe it when they got out of the pool, and then started to swim with just their tail skimming the water like they were treading water. So out of the dolphin pool we went, and as we walked down the hills we saw lots of beautiful plants and flowers; as well as some more animals which were behind the glass of their enclosures. Mother told us that we were heading for the aquarium and the shark tunnel, which the boys got very excited about. Once we got to the aquarium, I saw lots of different kinds of fish in tanks, just like they had in the fish tanks in the pet shop back home; but these were more beautiful in colour and much bigger. Father read the display boards, as he told me what fish they were and where they came from. My favourite fish were the angel fish and parrot fish, though for the likes of me I could not understand why they called them parrot fish; because they had no feathers or beaks.

Then the inevitable happened….

We had just got through seeing all the little fishes, as we made our way to the tunnel. I was fine at first, as I saw some really big fish swim by. It was not until this big ugly shark came close to the glass, and bumped into it then swam away quickly; that I got very frightened. I looked up and noticed the really big sharks overhead, and I could not help myself as I started crying and screaming.

"No daddy, no. I want to get out of here."

"What's the matter Amanda?" He asked as he knelt down to dry my tears

"I don't like it here daddy, they are scaring me. Please take me out of here daddy." I cried as I threw my arms around him, crying into his neck.

It was as though the sharks could sense I did not like them, because more came swimming to me, and swimming more towards me as they swam overhead.

"DADDY." I screamed as I started to shake.

"No daddy, don't let them get me."

"Come here sweetheart." He said as he picked me up.

"Now close your eyes, and I will get you out of here ok sweetheart." He said as he kissed my cheek

"Yes daddy, please hurry because I don't like them daddy." I cried, now sobbing like crazy.

"It will be ok Amanda, close your eyes just like your daddy have asked you to do and we will see you shortly." Uncle Stephen said, as he looked at me and stroked my head.

"I have never seen her like this before Stephen." My father said to uncle.

"Has she ever been in a tunnel before like this though Ted?" He replied

"No, but she has seen lots of animals and sea life at the zoo before." He replied to him

"This can be very intimidating and scary if it is your first time, I would not worry Ted." He said, as I then screamed in interruption.

"DADDY."

"Ok sweetheart, we are leaving now." He said, as he held my head close to his neck, telling me to keep my eyes closed at all times.

Then next thing I knew was we were outside of the tunnel, and I could no longer see the sharks swimming about. I was still crying uncontrollably, as father tried his best to comfort me. I was still crying when the rest of them came out, when Uncle Stephen picked me up and kissed me on the neck.

"It's ok now Amanda, you are safe and sound." He said

"We are not going back in there are we Uncle Stephen?" I asked still crying, well more whimpering now.

"No Amanda, that is finished with now, we are not going back in." He said as he wiped my tears with a tissue that aunty had passed over to him.

"I think we should just walk to the ice-cream kiosk, and treat them whilst Amanda dries her eyes and gets herself back together." Aunty Mariana said, still drying my eyes with her tissue.

"Good idea, what do you say boys, Gabriela. Would you all like an ice-cream?" Uncle said, as they all went crazy with excitement, as they jumped up and down.

"You spoil then too much Stephen." Mother said

"Well I do not see you that often, and you are on holiday so what the heck." He replied.

Uncle carried me the few yards to the ice cream stand, as he told me that Gabriela got scared her first time when she saw the big sharks; and that it took her several visits before she got used to them. Uncle Stephen was really nice, as he and aunty had made me feel better. So after all the excitement, we made our way through the last of the park, before we reached the visitors centre; where they had lots of souvenirs. Sebastian teased me with a plastic shark, where he got told off my uncle in his native tongue; which I am sure was a really naughty telling off. Then Antonio brought me this fluffy dolphin toy, which I really liked and told him thank you to which he replied.

"We say Gracias for thank you."

"Grassy what?" I asked him, very puzzled.

So again after a few attempts at the word, Antonio helped me to pronounce the word correctly; which still sounds like grassy ass. He explained that depending where you are in Spain; the c is often pronounced th as in the English th. But as the Canaries are more Latin American in dialect, then they use the C as an S. I was very impressed with him, as he was a very bright young boy. He taught me how to say please and thank you in Spanish, as aunty taught me how to say sleep well; which made me speak the important words more whilst I was on holiday. After such a busy day, father brought me the toy dolphin, and a fridge magnet, so I could put it with my other magnets I had when I went to Ramsgate or into London. And both uncle and father had taken lots of pictures and videos of us, and something tells me that uncle had filmed me crying. So with having a very busy day, we made our way out of the park and headed back home.

I really enjoyed my visit to Loro Parque, with its wonderful attractions for all the family to enjoy; although I will never forget the scare that the sharks gave me. With the many shows that were scheduled throughout the day, showing the antics of the dolphins and the sea lions; all of them were spectacular and entertaining. There was also a building where the penguins were kept called 'Planet Penguin.' The inside just looked like their natural habitat, with a big iceberg in the centre, and a large swimming area in view, that we could see them jump and dive into. What made it more exciting was that you stood on a moving belt, which took you around the entire habitat showing you lots of different penguins. What was also nice about the shows was if you missed one show, you could go to another one and then play catch up by going back to the previous one. It was a wonderful day out, as you could spend the whole day there without worrying about a time scale to leave the zoo. So the must see attractions were made possible, by the repeat performances of the timed shows. The only thing I did not like was the amount of hilly walks there was, but once you got to the top; you could appreciate the park in its natural delight. The long drive to the park which took around an hour to get there was well worth it, and it still makes me smile today when I look back at that holiday. When we got home, the adults sat on the patio with a pot of tea, whilst us children got changed into our swimming costumes and played in the pool. We spent many an hour in that pool playing, as the adults watched over us. As it was also very hot, we hardly ate indoors, as aunty and uncle would bring the food out to the shaded area of the patio. Mother and father took it in turns, so as to give aunty and uncle a break too. Just like aunty taking over from mother, as she nursed Rebecca back to sleep; as well as place her on a blanket outside and play with her. Rebecca was quite happy having four adults pampering over her, but I am sure if she could she would have crawled over to us and jumped in the pool.

Those two weeks went very quickly indeed, and I had a very nice time with my cousins. We managed to go shopping in both Los Cristianos and Playa de las Americas, even though mother was pleased we were not with all the noisy English holiday makers. I think fathers best part of the holiday, was when we went to the harbour near uncle; as father always wanted a boat and said he would get one once he had retired. So now it was time to leave, and I had more to take back than I did when I arrived. I had brought my grandparents a lovely souvenir, of a clock made from the volcanic rock in the shape of Tenerife. I had even brought Greg and April a present, of t-shirts and baseball hats with the island printed on the t-shirt, and the name Tenerife on the hat.

We then all got into uncle's car, as we said our goodbyes to aunty and Gabriela, as the boys came with us to the airport. As we were leaving Gabriela started to cry, as she was being comforted by aunty; as she did not want us to go. I think it was really hard on her, as we had spent all the two weeks together, and now I was leaving. Mother and father hugged aunty, and told her that she was welcome any time to come to London; as they hugged Gabriela and told her that we would be back again.

So after all the goodbyes we left their house; and all settled in the car as we waved to Gabriela and aunty. It was very quiet in the car except for mother and father speaking with uncle, and the odd natter from the boys. Arriving at the airport, uncle parked up as he helped father get the suitcases; and helped inside the airport. I hugged the boys, and told them to take care of Gabriela before running into uncle's arms and telling him what a lovely time I had.

It was a strange flight back home as mother was a little tearful, but once we landed back at Gatwick; she did say it was nice to be home and to be able to get back to normal.


	4. First Symptoms

First Symptoms

After our holiday in Tenerife, I was talking about it for ages to my friends at school. I had given Greg and April their presents, which they were over the moon with as they did not expect anything from me. And life went back to normal in our house, with Greg and April coming over to mine, as I went to theirs to hang out. Mother was allowing me to leave the house more without adult supervision, as I freely walked to the next street to Greg and April's; as well as now walking to school more on my own. Well it was not quite on my own, as I often met up with April as I walked down her street; as Greg did not always walk with us because he sometimes walked with his friends from football.

Another year had passed us by, and as a treat for April and Greg; father invited them and their mother to come and spend Christmas day with us. My parents got to know more about them at this stage and found out that Mrs Chambers, their mother had spent the last few years bringing up the twins all on her own, which my parents gave her so much respect; as they knew it was hard bringing up children as a two parent family, never mind a single parent. Mrs Chambers introduced herself, and told my mother and father that her name was Helen; and she often said that it was ok if I called her Aunty Helen; but I was always told to call her Mrs Chambers. Their father walked out on them when they were two years old, and she had never heard from him again. My mother felt sorry for her, but not in a patronising way, more of in a way that she would not know what to do without her husband's help. They often said that it must be hard on her as well as the children, but she just told them that you have to learn to cope the best way that you can, and always put your children first. I think it also broke the ice, as Mrs Chambers knew that her children were safe, when they came round to play with me; now that she had seen where we lived. Well it was not as though their mother was struggling, as she did have her own house; and often she said she was so glad that she never put her husband on the deeds as he was a money grabber, which confused father. Mrs Chambers told him once she signed the divorce papers his solicitor had sent through; her parents helped her with the deposit to buy her home so the children would be in a much safer environment. She told my parents when her ex-husband heard this, he tried to get some extra money from her; but he failed as the house was purchased after her divorce; and he even tried to get back with her just for the sake of the house, which she ended up seeing through his scheming rants. Yes April and Greg did go without certain things, but they had a healthy upbringing, and a knowledge to know that they had a home and would not be up rooted by having to sell because of the greed of their father. Their mother worked part time, even though she was working two jobs and keeping a home in order. It was then that father respected her even more by thinking of her children, that he often told her that if she ever needed anything that she was to come and see them; and that her children were welcome to come over anytime. I think she appreciated that, although she never did ask for anything except if they could look after the children when she was on a late shift; which was not that often. A few times that we went to see my grandparents, April and Greg would come down with us; to give their mother that much needed space of having to work late, and not having to worry too much about her children. It was not as though their grandparents could not look after them, it was more the fact that they lived too far away; as they lived in Hemel Hempstead. My grandparents liked them both, as they were never any trouble; and grandma always used to say that they were well behaved and good mannered. This weekend though, we were going to go to Ramsgate without them, as it was the usual family summer holiday, and time to just relax and not think of school. Rebecca had been a little bit poorly over the last few weeks, starting with a fever and a rattley chest. Mother put it down to a chest infection which was confirmed by her doctor, and was told that she would be fine in a few days' time. So with enough medicine to last us for our holiday, we went to visit our grandparents. This holiday was a little different to the other ones I had, and it was not just because I had a sister. Rebecca had come down with a few chest problems lately, and was spending a considerable amount of time just sleeping. So on this holiday, I was looked after by father and grandpa a lot, so mother and grandma looked after Rebecca. Father and grandpa did also help mother, by taking over to give them a break so I could spend time with them; but mother was so like my grandma who was very much protective of Rebecca. And being old fashioned like grandma, she often placed a mustard plaster onto Rebecca's chest, as well as reach for a very old book, which had lots of grandma's medicine recipes. Not my grandma mind you, it was the title of the book.

"This will work dearie, as my mother used to do the same with me; and my chesty cough soon disappeared Pam." Grandma would say.

"I have medicine mom, from the doctor. Do you not think all of this will be too much?" Mother replied, rather concerned.

"Well it cannot do any harm to try dearie; besides you never know where you are with these new fandangle medicines that the doctors offer you these days." She would reply.

Whilst mother and grandma were fussing over Rebecca, father asked me if I wanted to go into town with him and grandpa. I jumped at the offer, because otherwise I would have had to stay in the back garden all day; and I loved going into town because it was close to the beach. Father fetched his coat, as grandpa got ready and then helped me put on my coat. It was a nice day, but it was not as warm as it usually was for a summer's day; and as grandpa lived close to both the town and the beach, there was no need to take the car. We said our goodbyes, as I told mother I loved her, and kissed both her and grandma; before placing a kiss on Rebecca's forehead. I then took hold of my dad and grandpa's hand, where we then walked into town. As we walked around the town, father always made sure he ended up at the marina where he was always very fascinated with the boats and yachts; and where he would say to grandpa that one day he would buy one. I too liked to see the big boats, but I was more interested in wanting to go for a paddle; than just stand for a while gazing at boats all day. It was then that grandpa looked at me and asked me if I wanted an ice-cream, and I was so excited about it, that I could not contain myself as I jumped up and down clapping my hand like a seal. Ramsgate has a wonderful ice cream shop that was called Mr Frosy's, which not only pleased me but pleased father, as it too overlooked the marina, and we could either sit inside or sit outside as it was a very large shop. So grandpa took hold of my hand, as we walked around the other side of the marina. When we got inside father asked me what I would like, as there were so many choices to have. I ended up with vanilla and strawberry with lots of sprinkles and a chocolate flake, where father and grandpa went for normal soft ice cream.

I was a strange little girl as I loved chocolate, yet I did not like chocolate ice cream. It was the same as almonds, because I like the almond nuts, but did not like marzipan. So when Christmas came along and mother put the cake in the centre of the table, I would eat the icing and cake and leave the marzipan on the side of my plate which grandma soon picked up and finished off. This also followed me with Sunday dinner, as my favourite was always chicken or fish. I did not mind roast lamb, but could not eat it cold as it made me feel sick because it felt dry and greasy. I also loved spaghetti Bolognese, yet disliked roast beef or roast pork. Father always called me a fussy madam, as did mother; but at least they were pleased that I ate all of my greens. When we were finished in town, we would have a slow walk back to my grandparents, where father and grandpa would take over to give mother and grandma a break. Sometimes they would go into town on their own, and other times they would ask me, which meant I went in twice and got two lots of ice cream. On our return from holiday visiting our grandparents in Ramsgate, Rebecca was not her usual self as she looked pale and was continuously pale and very tired. Mother was beginning to get more worried, as Rebecca had only just got over a chest infection; and now mother was all over the place. Rebecca had got yet another fever, and at first mother thought that maybe it was because the weather was too hot for her; as it was a real hot month with sunshine almost every day. When we got home, mother phoned the doctor to make an appointment, and she was able to get in the following morning. She was advised to keep her cool over night, but not to be placed where there may be a draught. The next day when mother took Rebecca to the doctors, the doctor put it down to another chest infection, as she was also having breathing problems. Mother thought that she may have had asthma, as her breathing was very erratic, but that was soon dismissed. After a week of no change, my mother phoned the doctors again and got an emergency appointment; as by now mother was quite beside herself. She constantly phoned grandma for advice, and she used to tell my mother not to worry; as I heard mother cry on the phone to her with worry. This did not really help as mother always did worry about Rebecca, and she could not understand what she was always poorly. Like me Rebecca had all of her vaccinations within the first year of being born, and mother became even more concerned as she thought no child can catch a cold as many times as Rebecca did. When we went to the surgery, mother was surprised as it was not her usual doctor; so again she had to explain everything that had been going on the last few weeks. Mother explained that Rebecca had no appetite, and she had since found some red blotches on her body. The doctor first of all thought it may be meningitis, and he referred her to the children's hospital. He phoned the hospital, and mother was told to go there straight away so that they could check Rebecca over. Once we got to the hospital, Rebecca was rushed straight through, where they took some blood tests. After such a long wait, and pacing up and down the waiting room; her blood results had come back, and mother was asked to come through to the doctor's office with him. He told her that they have looked at her bloods and it seems like she has leukaemia; but he wanted her to make an appointment to bring Rebecca into hospital for further testing. Mother was so beside herself, as she kept asking the doctor how and why? After mother saw the doctor this last time, she only had to wait for a week before Rebecca was referred to Great Ormond Street Hospital for tests.


	5. Rebecca's Diagnosis

Rebecca's Diagnosis

It was now November 1985, and Rebecca was just over two years old. The doctor told mother that they wanted to refer Rebecca to hospital for a bone marrow aspirate. This panicked mother, as she had never heard of such a thing; and all she could think about was her precious little Rebecca going to be alright. Mother had already packed Rebecca's things and today I was going with mother to help get Rebecca settled; as she thought that this would also help. She was not a noisy little girl, quite the opposite as she was always happy and smiley and loved people. Upon arriving at the hospital, we were shown to the ward where Rebecca took it all in her stride. She was allocated a bed which overlooked the hospital gardens, and she soon started to speak to the little boy in the next bed along from hers. As mother started to unpack her things, I took Rebecca into the playroom just to get her settled. It was not long before the doctors came around to speak to mother, then another thirty minutes after that the nurses from the blood department came to see her. We just laughed to each other and said it was the hospital vampires, as this was the only way Rebecca had the courage to have an injection. Before she knew it, the nurses had taken her bloods; then the doctors came back around and told her that once they get the results they will inform mother of what is going on with Rebecca. I again began playing in the children's room with Rebecca, with the many toys that were available for all the children to play with, whilst mother was talking to a few of the other children's parents and drinking tea. Later that afternoon the doctor came around and spoke to mother, where by now I was now sitting on the bed with Rebecca painting some pictures in her colouring book, when the doctor told mother that Rebecca had leukaemia.

"What, are you sure doctor?" Asked mother, now going into shock

"Yes Mrs Daniels, and we need to do further tests just to see what form of leukemia she has." The doctor replied

"What do you mean?" Mother said, as she started to fill up with uncontrollable emotion

"There are two different types of leukaemia Mrs Daniels. Leukemia is a cancer of the white blood cells, and it is these blood cells which fight infection; hence why your daughter has been poorly so much with catching infections." The doctor explained

Mother then started to cry, and it was at this point one of the other children's mother had heard what was going on, and she came around and came in through the curtains.

"It will be ok Pam." She said as she sat down next to mother.

The doctor then continued to explain to her about further tests.

"There are two different types of white blood cells, lymphoid and myeloid; that normally these cells which are produced in the bone marrow which repair and reproduce themselves in an orderly and controlled way. In leukaemia however, the process gets out of control and the cells continue to divide, but no longer matures. Until we can get a sample of Rebecca's bone marrow we will not know how to go forward with treatment. I have put Rebecca down on tomorrow's schedules for this procedure." The doctor explained.

Mother was very distraught, and I was glad that she had the other mother there with her; because I did not know what to do, and I had never heard of leukemia before. Mother got Rebecca all settled, as I waited for father to come and pick me up to take me home; as mother was going to stay with Rebecca, and father said he would take me back again the next day to see her. As Rebecca and I went back into the playroom, with a cup of orange from the nurses; mother decided to go over to some of the other mothers where she engaged in motherly conversation. At this point no one had told me what was wrong with Rebecca, apart from hearing little bits when I eaves dropped. I did not know the severity of her condition, and every time I tried to ask mother, I was told by the other mother's that she would tell me later. My father was not working a full day, as he had already notified the assistant manager of his bank about the situation; and he arrived at the hospital about three in the afternoon. He would first go over to mother, where he would give her a hug; before coming over to Rebecca and me. After sitting next to us, and sitting Rebecca on his lap to listen to what she had to say about her day; he then looked at me and said.

"Right princess we have got to think about food, what do you fancy to eat this evening?

"Are you not going to cook daddy?" I asked

"No princess, let's get a takeaway, your choice." He replied

"I do not mind daddy, you know I love my chicken, so maybe we can go to the spicy chicken hut. Are Becca and mommy going to come out with us to eat as well?" I asked

"Ok princess, we will get some chicken and chips, and maybe a nice bottle of cola for you. And no Amanda, Rebecca has to stay in hospital for a little while, and mommy is going to stay with her so she is not all on her own." He said, as he started took hold of my hand.

"Daddy, will Becca be ok, I miss her already." I told him

"She is in the right place, so try not to worry sweetheart. I know how special she is to you, as you two are never far from each other's side." He answered

"I hope so daddy, she is my special friend; I love her so much. What is wrong with her daddy, as no one is telling me anything about what is going on? And daddy, I love you just as much." I replied

"I love you too sweetheart, I will tell you later about Rebecca; now let's get some dinner." He told me

Before we set off I placed my hand on his, and then reached over towards him and placed a kiss on his cheek. And just where dads become dads and worry, he told me to make sure my belt was done up; as he kissed me back on my cheek. It was a strange night that night, just eating chicken with dad, as we watched television. Then when I had taken my bath and decided to go to bed, as I walked past Rebecca's bedroom and noticed how strangely empty it was but for her teddy bear on the pillow; I whispered I love you Becca into her room. I could not sleep properly that night, and I can clearly remember having a little cry. So I got up and went into father's room and said.

"Daddy, are you awake?"

"What is it princess?" He asked

"I cannot sleep daddy, I cannot stop thinking about Becca and mother." I said now beginning to cry

My father then pulled back the duvet, and then he looked at me and said.

"Come on sweetheart, come to daddy."

I jumped into bed, and father comforted me telling me not to get too upset; I felt safe, and I knew that my father would always protect Becca and me; and to be able to lie next to him and know he was there, soon settled me from crying, as he cuddled up next to me; where we both then fell asleep.

"Daddy, what is wrong with Becca?" I asked, as I became a little emotional.

My father sat up as he started to clear his throat, then held my hand and said.

"Rebecca has leukaemia, Amanda."

"What's leukemia?" I asked very tearful

"Amanda you have to be strong, not just for you and mommy and me, but also for Rebecca." He said, as his voice became broken and high pitched as he held back his tears.

"I know daddy, but please just tell me." I asked him, now with my hand over his.

"Sorry Amanda, but there is no easy way to explain this; Rebecca has cancer. Leukemia is cancer of the blood sweetheart." He said now in a flood of tears, as he cried uncontrollable.

I then turned towards father and placed my head into his chest and cried my eyes out.

"No daddy, not Becca. Maybe they have got it wrong daddy. Please say that it is a mistake." I cried

"I wish it was Amanda, I wish there was another reason for all of this." He cried, holding me tightly by him.

That was the first time my father had cried in front of me, and it was the first time but not the last that we comforted each other. We did not say too much because of the tears, and the emotions we both had that were too overwhelming; but we both knew that we were there for each other, and we comforted each other by me stroking his face as my head lay on his chest, and dad stroking my back. We were both distraught to say the least, but this was such a crushing blow for my father; and I could only try and imagine that mother was going through the same flood of emotions as father and me. I thought of her being in the hospital all on her own to deal with this, as I did have father to comfort me; and she had no one which I thought she must be so alone. I then realised she had Timmy's mother for support, but it was not quite like the support of father and me. After what seemed like hours of crying soon passed, as together father and I cried ourselves to sleep. That next morning, I got up before father; and just like routine I helped with breakfast. I remembered what father had said about being strong, and something inside switched on as I tried to block everything out. I used to do this for Rebecca, so I knew where everything was. Father soon got up as he got a whiff of the smell of bacon. I had laid the table and put his favourite brown sauce next to the salt and by now had already buttered the bread and laid the table for four people. Dad just smiled at me when he saw the table, as it was routine to have four of us, so to go down to two would be strange for me.

"That smells gorgeous Amanda; you certainly take after your mother." He said

"Thank you daddy and I remember that you like your bacon crispy, so it will be a few more minutes." I replied

I even managed to do his poached eggs right, even though they were a little messier than mother's. I had boiled the kettle, but it was father who made the tea, whilst I put a jug of orange juice on the table. We both sat there eating breakfast, as we stopped for a while as we spoke about Rebecca and mother, father still not quite himself as he reminded me to be strong. I got out of my chair and walked to father, where I looked at him and said.

"Be strong daddy, I love you and I am here for you and mommy and Becca."

"You are a good girl Amanda." He said as he again began to cry.

"It will be ok I am sure daddy, come on dry those tears before you start me crying." I replied now with my arms around his neck as I kissed him on the cheek.

That was the day my world would change, as I started to learn to cope with this trauma. I was still a seven year old girl, but something inside of me brought out my mothering instincts and I without reason grew up very fast.

"Come on daddy, let's try and finish breakfast and go to the hospital to see mom and Becca." I told him

"Ok princess." He said as he wiped his eyes, and then gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

Once we had finished breakfast, I loaded the dishwasher as father went upstairs to take a shower. I told him to bring his pyjamas down with him and I will put them in the washing machine, as I noticed that there were a few things to do; and this was something mother knew I was capable of, as I had helped her do the washing before. So father had his shower and shave, and like a good father he brought his washing down and placed them in the washing machine, when I just looked at him and shrieked.

"No daddy, whites in the white basket, and colours in the other basket."

"Oh you are doing a mother are you?" He said, as he chased me through to the lounge.

After a little playtime with father, and then me getting a little more serious; I went up to my bedroom and picked out my dress for the day before taking a shower and brushing my teeth, whilst father ironed his shirt. Then when we were both ready, father made sure the house was locked up as we made our way to the hospital to see if there were any more news. Father came to the ward with me, as he then had a little chat with mother, before going to work. As always, he came over to Rebecca and me and kissed us both on the cheek, as he then told me he would pick me up later. Before leaving he would have his cuddle with Rebecca, as he lay on the bed next to her as he asked what she had been up to.

"Hello Becca, did you have a nice rest last night?" I asked her

"Hello Manda, it was strange listening to all the children cough and cry. I wanted to come home and sleep in my bed just for some peace and quiet." She replied as she began to giggle.

"I wished that both you and mommy were home last night, as it was so strange seeing your bedroom empty; and not hearing you laugh." I told her

"That boy over there was very rude last night as he kept farting." She said

"That is horrible Becca; I bet mommy was not very pleased." I replied

"She was not impressed and told me he had no manners, she even spoke to Timmy's mommy, but they were not mad at him." She told me.

She then asked me if I had slept ok, and I told her that it was strange not seeing her at home. I also told her that dad and I had chicken for dinner, and in the night I could not sleep so I jumped into bed next to dad.

"Oh and talking of bed Becca I have something for you in my bag." I told her

I got off the bed and went into my backpack where I pulled out her teddy.

"Oh Manda, you have brought me Mr Pipkins." She said, as her face lit up.

"I thought you may have missed him, and I only remembered when I had to go back to my bedroom for my backpack; and I saw him sitting on your pillow." I replied

"Thank you Manda, I missed cuddling up to him last night." She replied.

I told Rebecca that I needed to speak to mother, so I brushed her hand and told her I would be back in a minute. I walked over to mother and asked if we could chat out of the view of Rebecca, where I then held her hand and moved just out of view.

"What is the matter Amanda?" She asked me, with a puzzling look on her face.

"I love you mommy, I love you so much." I told her as I began to cry.

"Amanda, what is wrong sweetheart?" She asked, as she knelt on the floor to give me a hug.

Just then the nurse noticed what was going on, and came over to see if everything was alright.

"Mommy, daddy has told me what is happening with Becca; and I just wanted to let you know that I love you both, and I will always be here for you." I cried, now uncontrollably whilst both mother and the nurse hugged and comforted me; as mother could not stop the flood of tears that she was holding inside.

"You are a very brave girl Amanda, and a very special one. Now dry your eyes, so Rebecca does not know you have been crying." The nurse said to me, as she went to fetch me a glass of milk.

Then the doctor came over to mother and explained that the procedure had gone well and that they were now just waiting for the results to come back from the lab.

"Mrs Daniels, Rebecca has acute lymphoblastic leukaemia, also known as ALL. This is an overproduction of immature lymphoid cells, called lymphoblasts or blast cells."

"Ok and what do these cells do doctor." Mother asked

"Mrs Daniels, the immature cells fill up the bone marrow and stop it from making healthy blood cells. As these cells are immature, they cannot work properly; and this puts the child at increased risk of infection as we have already seen these past few months. Symptoms like bruising on the body and anaemia are caused by the bone marrow's inability to make enough healthy red blood cells and platelets." He replied

"And what about treatment doctor, will my little girl be ok?" Mother again asked.

"There are several types of childhood leukemia and these are identified according to the lymphoid cell affected, and of course the stage during its development at which time it then becomes acute lymphoblastic leukemia. The affected lymphocytes may be either precursor or mature." He explained

"I don't understand doctor." Mother said looking rather confused

"Precursor cell leukemias may involve either of two types of lymphocyte. B-cells or T-cells. B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukaemia is further divided into three categories; null-cell, common acute lymphoblastic leukaemia and pre-B acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Common acute lymphoblastic leukemia is the most common type of childhood leukaemia, accounting for up to 70 per cent of cases. Knowing which type of acute lymphoblastic leukaemia Rebecca has is very important, as it helps us work out the best treatment." He told her

"But doctor is my little girl going to be ok? Can she and will she get over this?" Mother asked, now getting rather frustrated with all the medical terminology.

"Mrs Daniels, this is not 1960. Until the 1960s, childhood leukemia was incurable, but today however; and thanks to improvements in care and with much investment into research, the outlook for younger patients diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia is good." He explained, in a manner of empathy, rather than practical medical talk.

"Good is not enough doctor, will my little girl survive this." Mother asked, as she raised her voice to him rather sharply

"There is a known fact that the survival rate is almost 70 per cent. Survival is highest in children diagnosed between one and four years of age, and Rebecca is how old now." He asked mother

"She has just turned two." She told him

"Then she has just as much chance as any other child who has been diagnosed with leukemia. But please remember this is only a guide, it is really down to the child. We can give her the best treatment available to her, the rest Mrs Daniels is really up to your little girl." The doctor explained

"What about treatment doctor, when will she have treatment?" Mother asked rather concerned

"It all depends on the results Mrs Daniels, as soon as we get them back from the lab; we can see what level of treatment to follow." He told her

"Depends on the results doctor, what about priorities; does not the fact she has leukemia has reasons of concern; and reasons of priority?" She said, as she pointed her finger towards him.

"Priorities Mrs Daniels? Yes there are priorities, and there are many priorities that we have to address; but reducing the level of cancer is of paramount importance, and it is that which is where my main priority lies. That is why these tests are of the utmost importance." He explained, being diplomatic in an arrogant sort of way

Then the doctor wished my mother a good day, and told her that he would be back later on in the day; where he would come and see her again. The lady who came and sat by mother, comforted her as she told mother that everything would be ok.

"Pam a lot of the things the doctor says are all medical and it takes us a while to understand what they have said. We have to adjust our mind set, and allow all the information to register with our brain. Once treatment starts you will get to understand what all the medical jargon is all about." June told mother

"I just cannot believe it June, I thought this was just a chest infection or at worse asthma." Mother replied now looking completely shell shocked

"At least you know now Pam, Rebecca is in the right place. You just have to be strong." June said.

"Just look at Rebecca, oblivious to all what is going on. She has no care in the world June. Just look at her with Amanda, and your little boy." Mother told her as she looked at Rebecca, Timothy and me playing in the toy room

"Ah yes, Rebecca certainly does seem to be getting on with Timothy." June replied.

I went into the children's play room, and started to play games with Rebecca and Timothy, whilst mother continued talking with Timothy's mother. As time was getting on, the dinner ladies brought the children's dinner into the ward. They asked mother if she wanted anything to eat, where mother told them that she would take me down to the restaurant once Rebecca has eaten and got settled. Mother fed Rebecca, and it was then that she was beginning to feel a little tired; so mother put her to bed and waited until she had fallen asleep before we left the ward to go and get something to eat. June told mother that she would keep an eye on Rebecca for us, and she said that she would come and look for us if Rebecca awoke and was asking for her. So we went to the restaurant on the lower ground floor, where mother had a slice of cake and a cup of tea. I had a sandwich and a chocolate bar, with a nice cold drink of orange. Mother asked me if I was ok, in which I told her I was a little sad as I did not like seeing Rebecca in hospital; and I wished that both her and Becca could come home with me and father. Mother and I just chatted, as she explained what was going on. My mother never kept anything from me, and let me be as much a part of Rebecca's illness as Rebecca was. When we had both finished, mother cleared the table then we left the restaurant, and made our way back up to the ward. When we got there, the doctors were doing their usual rounds, and mother had got back up to Rebecca just in time; as the doctor then greeted her.

"Mrs Daniels, we have had all of the tests come back and we have found that Rebecca has acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. We will be starting her on treatment first thing in the morning." The doctor told mother

"What treatment does she have to have doctor?" Mother asked

"Whilst around a good 75 per cent of children can now be successfully treated, treatment is very long and gruelling. Her treatment will last for about two years. We are going to be starting Rebecca on a combination of chemotherapy drugs and steroid medicines; which will be given in several stages." He explained

"And will this course of medicine work doctor?" Mother asked rather concerned

"We do not know until we try Mrs Daniels. The initial aim of the treatment is to achieve what is known as a state of remission. This state is where most of the leukemia cells have been killed; which then allows the production of normal blood cells to once again resume." He said

"And how long will this last?" Mother asked

"This first stage of treatment involves several drugs in combination, and will usually last between three and eight weeks, depending on how quickly Rebecca responds to her treatment. Then we leave it for a while, so that Rebecca's body can be given time to recover; which will minimise the risk of treatment related complications." He told her

"And once the eight weeks are over, is that it doctor, will she be fine?" Mother said

"No Mrs Daniels, she will be put onto a programme called maintenance therapy. Rebecca will require a phase of extended maintenance therapy to prevent any relapse from happening. This will involve taking tablets on a daily basis, as well as having monthly injections of chemotherapy drugs. This will continue for a further two years, and will be carried out on an outpatient's basis; which will be between the specialist centre and here at the children's hospital." The doctor told her

"Will this affect her everyday things that she does doctor? I mean will she still be able to go out and play like she did before?" Mother said as she began to worry about how it would affect her

"Yes Mrs Daniels. Rebecca should be well enough to resume most of her normal everyday activities, and if she is in school then I feel she will have no problem returning. She will be closely monitored at this stage by the hospital, as well as her doctor and of course yourself." He said

"What about side effects doctor, what are we expected to see?" Mother asked

"The most common side effects Mrs Daniels are temporary and can be minimised with a good supported care plan. The most common effects will include nausea and vomiting, hair loss, reduced resistance to infection, some bruising and bleeding, and of course tiredness and looseness of the bowels." He explained

"Oh, so not a lot to worry about then doctor." Mother said sarcastically.

Mother's world fell apart, that day at the hospital; and she was very emotional at times which was very understandable with the devastating news that she had just been told. Looking back now, I do not know how she coped so well, as I am not sure I could have reacted as strongly as she did as I was sure to be an emotional wreck. I knew mother was a strong woman, and it was her that really held the family together, so those little outbursts where she had a quiet moment; and then just cried was her way of dealing with things. What we could not believe however, was how Rebecca had reacted to all of this without reason for complaint. She was just her usual normal happy self, she was just Rebecca. The nurses fell in love with Rebecca straight away, and they kept calling her their special princess. Rebecca was never far away from Timothy, and they were often called the wards little sweethearts. Over the coming months, Rebecca had a favourite nurse by the name of Rose, and Rebecca always called her Rosie, which she never seemed to mind. When Rose came into the room, Rebecca always held out her arms for her, where she then picked her up and gave her lots of love and kisses. Rose was a very special nurse, as she gave just as much love to the other children; as she did towards Rebecca, but we just knew that Rebecca was one of her favourite nurses, just like Timothy was her special friend when she was on the ward. Timothy was a little older than Rebecca, as he was four years old. During her stay in hospital she was never far from his sight, and he always made sure she was safe and sound; that we often called him her little protector. Everywhere we went mother had support from family and friends; as well as the many nurses and parents from the hospital. Mother never ever felt alone, as she always had someone to talk to; and her friendship with June had become very close and strong. Rebecca also had a very strong and loving character, which showed us all what a special person she was. As she grew older, her spirit to fight her illness grew stronger and stronger. When Rebecca was admitted to hospital, I never got to see mother that much; as she stayed with her in a bed next to hers. I did go to the hospital though when father took me, or on the few times when her friend June came round to pick me up. Today Rebecca had to go into hospital for a three day period, as she had a temperature that was becoming erratic. Father took the day off work, so that he could stay with me as he waited to see what the outcome was with Rebecca. Mother phoned him a couple of hours later where she told him she had to stay in for observation, so she would be staying with her at the hospital. After father had told me what was happening, he then asked if I wanted to go out for a meal, as he thought I could do with cheering up and also having some Amanda time.

"You have been a little star Amanda, and you never fuss or complain. I think we need some time together, where you need to be you for a little while. So would you like to eat out tonight, and maybe do something else afterwards?" He said, as he sat down next to me.

"Yes daddy I would like that, and I am not a little star. Becca is my sister, and I do not like seeing her being poorly all the time. She spends more time at that hospital, than anyone I know. She is the star daddy, as it is her who never complains." I replied.

Just then the doorbell rang, and as I went to answer it; dad already told me that it was April as he had seen her walk down the drive. She came in to the house where we sat in the lounge, and where she asked where Rebecca was. I told her that she had been re admitted to hospital because she had a slight temperature, and that they are keeping her in for observation. April said exactly the same as I did about Rebecca being in the hospital, more than anyone that she also knew about. I then told her that I would be going out later that afternoon for dinner with father, as he thought I needed some time to be myself. She thought that it was a lovely idea, and that I should let my hair down once in a while.

"Where is Greg?" I asked her, as she was never that far from his side.

"He has gone to play football, and will not be back till later today; so I thought I would come round and see how things were." She replied, as we had helped ourselves to cola from the fridge.

He is always playing football, whether it is raining or not. He is a typical boy April." I told her, as I had a smile on my face

"I know, and he gets very dirty too. Mother goes mad sometimes as there is not a clean area to his football kit, but at least it keeps him out of trouble." She replied

"Yes there is that, as too many boys just want to cause trouble for people; and then they get into trouble with the police." I said, looking at her with my grown up face.

"Yes I know, and there is a boy who lives three doors down from me got into trouble with the police. They brought him home in a police car, and his mother hit him in front of the police; because he was caught stealing sweets from Woolworth's." She said with a disapproving face.

"Do you mean Billy Fisher?" I asked

"Yes that's him, how do you know him?" She asked me

"I heard some of the kids at school say that he goes shoplifting, and we should stay clear of him." I replied

"My mom will not let me or Greg have anything to do with him, as she says he is trouble. She says he will end up in prison one of these days, but then again what do you expect when his father is in prison because he broke into people's houses." She told me, as she filled up my glass with some more cola.

Father then came downstairs, as he told me he had cleaned up and made the beds. He looked at April and asked if she wanted to come out later with us as she was on her own. April said that she would like to but must ask her mother first, so off she quickly trotted; then when she came back she said that all was ok. Around 4pm, father told us that we would go into town; and we could either go to an Italian or we could have burgers or chicken. We always seemed to go to the chicken hut, so I looked at April and asked if she wanted a burger or pasta. We decided to go for pasta, so father drove us into town where we went to the Italian restaurant. When we had finished he asked us what would we like to do, as he suggested ice skating, shopping, or the pictures. We said it would be nice to go to the pictures, so he drove us to the picture house where we then decided what we fancied watching. We decided it was either going to be 'Back to the future' or take a gamble on Rebecca not getting scared with going to watch E.T.' After a short debate we decided to watch E.T as it was a re issue and we had missed the first one. We looked at each other and said we could always come back on one of the Saturdays to watch 'Back to the future,' as it was playing for the next three weeks. We picked up some popcorn and some drinks, and made our way to the auditorium, where we thoroughly enjoyed our film. When we had finished, we made our way to the car where father drove us back home. It had been a wonderful day, but a strange one without having Rebecca there, so I was grateful that I had April with me.

April too was like a sister, and we did quite a lot together too. If I was not around that often, my parents always knew I was either in the garden, or around April's house; and both April and Greg were my rock when it came to Rebecca being poorly. April and I were becoming really close, and to top the day I asked father if she could sleep over. He agreed, but again she had to go and ask her mother just to make sure. So once we had a glass of cola, I spent a few hours around April's before coming back home to get ready for bed.


	6. A Day At The Swimming Baths

A Day At The Swimming Baths

There was this one day that mother took us swimming at the local leisure centre, that it would be an eye opener to her with regards the ignorance of certain people; yet gave her the understanding of someone she thought may have evoked rudeness. I had been swimming whilst at school, and I was told by my teacher that I was very good; as I had already won my stage one, two and three national swimming award. I could now swim two lengths of the big pool, without stopping to get my breath. This was the first time though I was in the leisure centre with Rebecca, as this would be her very first lesson. Whilst we were sitting in the shallow end, mother noticed a few ladies staring at us as they then turned away as whispered to each other.

"Amanda, please just hold on to Rebecca for me will you, I am going to give them busybodies a piece of my tongue." Mother asked me, now very annoyed.

My mother got out of the pool and gave the three women a good dressing down, so much so that one of the attendants came over to see what the problem was. Mother explained to him what was going on, and he asked the women to leave the children's pool and to go about their own business. Mother then thanked the attendant, who told her not to worry as he would keep an eye out for her. She then came back into the infant pool, just as this little boy came over to us.

"Excuse me, but what is that in her nose?" This little boy said as he pointed to Rebecca's nose

"It's a tube." I replied, as I lowered his hand and told him that it was rude to point

"What is if for then?" He asked, very inquisitive

"So she can be fed." I told him

"Doesn't she use a fork then?" He again asked

"No, she cannot eat like us as she has no appetite; so she has to be fed through the tube." I replied

"Does it hurt?" He asked

"I don't think so, and if it does she never complains." I told him, as he was now right by my side.

"I don't think I would like a tube up my nose, but then again I can eat like a horse. My name is Ben, and I am four years old." He told me, as he smiled at us

"Hello Ben, my name is Amanda, and this my mother and little sister Becca." I replied

"Hello Amanda's mom; and hello Becca." He said

"Are you here on your own Ben?" Mother asked

"No, my big brother has just gone into the big pool, because he wants to dive bomb off the top board. I cannot go in there because I am too small, and the water is too deep." He replied

"Well you can stay here with us if you like?" I told him

"Ok, do you want to dive off the little board over there Amanda?" He asked, as he pointed to the small diving board.

"We could do, and we can shout over to my mom as she will be able to watch us." I replied

"How old are you Amanda?" He asked

"I am seven." I replied

"You are old enough to go in the big pool then, and you can dive off the big boards." He told me

"No its ok, I will stay here as it is not as crowded as the big pool. Besides we get to dive off the little board in the corner, as we have it all to ourselves." I replied

"Come on then." He said as he splashed me and ran towards the steps to get out of the pool.

I spent a good hour with Ben, jumping off the board as well as practicing diving, as mother held Rebecca out in the pool as she kicked her little legs and as she got used to the water. Ben's brother eventually came into the small pool for a while, where he stayed with mother as they both began to natter, and as he kept an eye on his brother. I think mother was relieved to have someone else to talk to, even if he was a young boy.

Yes I think mother was rather happy, that such a young man like him could be caring enough to join in and help her make Rebecca's first day feel that little bit special; rather than be one of those children who just stared and pointed awkwardly at them. He asked mother if she would like to have him help her play in the pool, where he could be a little bit away from her and she could push Rebecca into his arms, and vice versa. Mother thought he was such a nice sweet young man, and agreed as he could also watch over his brother. Once I had corrected one of my dive moves off the board, I noticed Ben's brother was just a little distant from my mother, as he held his arms out as mother pushed Rebecca into them, and then he did the same so that Rebecca swam back to mother. It was so nice to see that another person could have time for you, without judging or making rude comments. And whilst Rebecca seemed to be having a lot of fun, being pushed from mother to this young man; Ben and I carried on playing together without fear or concern. I thought it was nice that mother had a very young man who was like her knight in shining armour. Mother told me that he was a very nice young man, and once she told him about Rebecca's condition it made no difference to him as he said.

"Some adults can be worse than us kids, and it is us who get a bad name by being rude and obnoxious."

"You are neither rude nor selfish, and I can see that your parents have taught you well. It is not nice when people just stare, without even knowing what the problem is." Mother replied.

"And it is because of that, which makes people ignorant to the matter." He told her.

When we had finished in the pool, as by now my fingered were looking like prunes; mother asked if I wanted to go and get a bite to eat before going home. I told her that I would, as I had quite an appetite now using all my energy up.

"I never asked what your name was." Mother asked Ben's brother

"I am so sorry; it was rude of me not to introduce myself to you. My name is Andrew, Andrew Phillips; and that is my younger brother Ben." He replied

"Very nice to meet you Andrew; and I have already met Ben. He is such a sweet curious little boy. My name is Mrs Daniels, and that is my daughter Amanda; and of course you have met Rebecca." She replied

"He is, and I hope he has not been any bother to you Mrs Daniels; as he can be a handful at times?" He replied, as Ben now came over to him.

"No bother at all Andrew." She told him, as she started to climb out of the pool.

He then said hello to me, as I grabbed hold of Ben's hand and playfully pulled him out of the pool before pushing him back in; and then diving back into the pool myself.

"Come on Amanda, time to eat and then go home." She called over to me, as she put Rebecca in a towel and dried her.

I then shouted over ok as I sensibly walked out of the pool, as Ben stayed in waiting for his brother.

"Who are you with Andrew?" Mother asked

"Just my brother Mrs Daniels, as my mother knows he is safe with me

"So would you like to have some lunch and a drink with us Andrew?" She asked, as I saw his face go a little red.

"No that's ok Mrs Daniels; we will have to go home soon ourselves." He replied, very bashful

"Come on, you have helped me out. The least I can do is to buy you a cheese burger and a cola." She said as she gave him a pat on the shoulder.

So Andrew then called to Ben to get out of the pool, and they walked to the boys section to go and get changed; as mother told him to meet us by the café when they get out and wait for us there. Mother and I went into the ladies section of the pool, where we went to our lockers to get changed. We then made our way out of the changing rooms, and looked for the boys who were not there. We did not have to wait that long because all of a sudden I heard a voice calling my name.

"Amanda, Amanda." Shouted Ben

He came running up to me, as Andrew told him to be careful because of the other people in the foyer. I then held his hand as we made our way to the café, where mother ordered burgers for us and a cola, as she had her usual cup of tea and a cake. We spent a further forty five minutes, before we went along our merry way; where mother thanked both him and Ben as she gave them a kiss on the cheek before we went home.

Today I still think of that young man, who came into the baby pool and helped mother with Rebecca. He showed me that there was kindness within our younger community, and not all of us young people were rude and obnoxious.


	7. Rebecca's First Sponsored Walk

Rebecca's First Sponsored Walk

It has now been two years that Rebecca has been on treatment, and she has battled each day without fuss or complaint. Even when she has had bloods done or chemotherapy, she has never found reason to complain. The only thing she has not liked was the injections, and when it is that side of her treatment, then and only then does she fight mother and the nurses. Mother saw this as a positive action that was happening, as she saw her fighting her leukemia with the strength and determination to win. Besides, no one really likes injections at the end of the day. I know I didn't. Rebecca's treatment will finish in a few weeks' time, and so far most of her treatment has been as an outpatient at the hospital. She was still prone to infections, and it is then that she has had to be admitted to hospital; for the routine three day spells of antibiotics and tests. I have been a big part of Rebecca's leukaemia, and the house was never the same when she was not around. I would paint her pictures, and buy her some cd's so she could listen to them in the hospital. I would also bake her some cookies, ready to take to the hospital when my father took me; and when we arrived at the ward Rebecca would always greet me with a huge hug and a kiss, as she then told me what she had been up to that day with Timothy. They were little devils according to the nurses, who often said they would play tricks on them and make the other children laugh with their antics. When I had to leave the hospital I would always give her a big kiss and a smile, and tell her that I would phone mommy later and ask her to put her on the phone so that I can say goodnight. I had missed Rebecca so much, but over the last two years I learnt to adapt. I was fortunate to have been small myself when Rebecca was diagnosed, and we had both grown up with her illness; and it was just another part of our lives and another hurdle to jump. Mother and father never spoke about Rebecca's illness to me, the same way as the doctors did to them; but they also never left me out, and explained to me how things were to the best of my understanding. They had always been thoughtful in their approach to this, so not to leave me out, and let me be a big part of the situation by going to her hospital appointments with them.

Rebecca was now four years old, and is two years into remission. It was so hard to believe that she had ever suffered with the likes of leukemia. She has gone back into her old ways, where she sits in the garden with her dolls, and where she plays at tea parties, as well as her adventurous side of climbing the old pear tree at the end of the garden; much to mother's annoyance and concern. It was so nice seeing her enjoying the things that she could not enjoy whilst on treatment. She now has got her appetite back, which mother thought she would never ever see. She has had another nasal gastric tube for the last two years, because she would not eat whilst on treatment; and has gained a healthy few pounds since her treatment had stopped, Rebecca had her last check up last week, where her consultant was delighted with her. Rebecca is now doing really well, and has another adventure coming up as she is starting pre-school in September.

Rebecca is a very loving but cheeky little girl, with a big sense of humour. She has thrown many spiders and worms at me, sending me screaming around the garden; but soon the childish antics are soon over as we sit in the garden playing with our dolls; and of course, not to mention her ever faithful Mr Pipkins. She sometimes talked about her stays in hospital with great detail, as she remembers parts of her treatment quite well. I often assured her that it is all over with now, and that she is in a much better place; as I often told her how brave she was with her diagnosis and treatment. Mother was very much relieved, as it has been a very stressful two years; but she is looking forward to getting Rebecca into pre-school and then for her to return back to work on a part time basis. Rebecca had adjusted well to post treatment life, and she is now able to enjoy the happier times with us, which just reminds us of what we have all missed out on. A lot of people have asked my parents a few times, what they can do to help; and as Rebecca had quite a few blood and platelet transfusions, all mother and father would say is to give blood if they were able to. But Rebecca would shock us with what she told us next.

She had met a lot of nice people in hospital, and she had heard of lots of people helping with the hospital and the children's cancer charities. Rebecca heard that there was a sponsored walk happening in one of our local park, and she wanted to take part in this. Mother could not believe what she was saying, but she never said no, as she encouraged Rebecca to do what she felt she wanted to do, but not to overdo things with the sponsored walk. Rebecca was four and a half years old when she took part in her first sponsored walk, which was organised to take place at Haggerston Park London; which was very close to where we lived. Rebecca was going to walk twice around the park, where her other supporters was going for ten laps. I also decided to walk the two laps with her, and together our sponsorship forms soon got filled up with lots of names from school as well as our neighbours. It was a day fun day of adventure, with bouncy castles for the children as well as stalls and amusements and a mini fun fair; all organised by local cancer charities. It was a very successful day, with the park being full of spectators who encouraged Rebecca on her two laps of the park; giving us a massive round of applause when she walked across the finish line. The organisers were so very proud of her, and they knew that great things were going to come from this special young lady. Rebecca stayed by the finish line, as she congratulated every person who helped her with her sponsored walk; giving them an orange rosette for the day and a bottle of water to quench their thirst. When the last person came across the line, it was then that she decided to go and enjoy herself at the fair with mother and me. The next day after her first charity sponsored walk, mother asked her what she would like as a special present for all of her hard work. Rebecca just asked mother for a nice flowering tree, to go into the back garden where she loves to sit and relax. So mother got Rebecca and me ready, as we drove to the garden centre. When we got to the garden centre, it was not long before a flowering tree stood out; as Rebecca chose a white and pink magnolia tree. She thought it was absolutely beautiful, as she saw a few of the flowers had dropped to the floor and I picked one up for her and placed it in her hair. Instead of buying the small one which Rebecca had picked out, they made their way to the back of the garden centre where the really big trees were. There in the far corner was a very large magnolia tree that was again already in flower. It stood about eight feet tall, so was already established. Mother thought that this would be a better choice to put in Rebecca's favourite spot in the garden, and that it would give her instant shade when she wanted to sit out on the lawn. Mother asked if she wanted that one, and Rebecca was over the moon as she excitedly told mother that she would like it very much. It was then that one of the staff came over and asked if we were ok, that mother asked about the times of delivery of the tree. The assistant told Rebecca that she had good taste, as she was going to buy that tree herself if no one wanted it, and she asked Rebecca if she wanted one of the flowers from the big tree; seeing she had a smaller one from the other section. Rebecca politely replied yes to her, as the lady pulled one of them off, and placed it into her hand. The lady then placed a sold sticker onto the tree, and took mothers details off her and then we all made our way to the checkout where mother paid for the Rebecca's magnolia tree.

"Do you not want a tree Manda?" She asked me

"No Becca, if you remember I have my flowers in the garden; as mother planted those sunflowers for me when I was very young, so I do not need a tree." I replied

"Ok, well we can have this as our tree then if you like, because we both sit in the garden. It does not just have to be my tree does it?" She asked.

"No Rebecca, if you would like to share your tree, then it is ok. I am sure Amanda would be thrilled to share your tree with you." Mother told her.

Although we did share it, inside I knew it would always be Rebecca's tree. The tree was delivered two days later, which gave father time to dig a hole and prepare it ready for her tree; as Rebecca also got her spade and bucket out, where she helped father. The only time he told her to keep out of the way, was when he put fertilizer in the hole and water, just before the tree was lowered into position. Rebecca was so excited when she saw the tree delivered; and even more excited when it had gone into the ground, that she went into the house and fetched a blanket and sat under the tree with Mr Pipkins.


	8. Starting School

Starting School

I was very excited the day that Rebecca started school, as she was going to the same school that I was at. I was in the juniors now, and Rebecca had started infants; and as we shared the same playground, I could see her when she would be out of class. Once it was playtime, I would be the first to get out of my classroom with April and Greg following, as I would then walk along the playground the infant classrooms; where I would go inside and collect her. We would go and sit on the playing fields, where I would see how her day has been; and where April and Greg would also be pleased to see her.

This one day Rebecca came running up to us, with her face full of tears.

"Oh Becca; what's the matter sweetheart?" I said

"I am fed up of that nasty boy in class." She cried, as she sat next to me and placed her arm underneath mine.

"What's has he been doing Rebecca?" April asked

"He was throwing things at me in class, and calling me names because of the tube in my nose." She cried

"I will bloody kill him. Where is he Becca, show me where he is." Greg shouted.

Rebecca then stood up and ran into his arms, as she cried her eyes out; and she looked at me and said she wanted to go home.

"Where is he Becca?" I asked

Rebecca looked up and pointed to a group of boys, who were teasing some girls as they played hopscotch.

"It is the fat boy in the green jumper, and his name is Gary." She cried

"I am going to bloody kill him Amanda, hold onto Becca I will not be long." He said furiously

"No Greg, you will get expelled. Becca, stay with April and Greg; I am going to sort this out." I yelled

Rebecca held onto Greg tightly, as she cried in his arms. It was taking both April and Greg to try and calm her down because she was that upset. As I got up from the grass, Becca asked me to sit down; but I couldn't. I could not let anyone hurt my little sister, and I was now furious. I ran over to the girls playing hopscotch, and then as they saw me running to them they stopped, as I am sure they thought I was after them. I looked at the boys, and just to be sure I said.

"Which one of you boys is Gary?"

They did not answer, instead they pointed to each other.

"Oh the comedian, which one of you is Gary?" I shouted

Then the girls pointed to him and said.

"That one is Gary, he keeps picking on us."

"So you are the big bully, who thinks it is clever picking on girls do you?" I shouted

"What's it to do with you, you lemon." He said.

"What's it to do with me, I will tell you exactly what it is to do with me." I said as I got him by the scruff of his collar.

"Piss off you psycho." He shouted

"What on earth do you think you are doing having a go at my sister Rebecca for, don't you know she is poorly you fat pig." I yelled

All of a sudden there was a crowd of children jeering me on, just the kind that gathers when someone is having a fight.

"Oh you mean baldy." He laughed

"I will give you baldy, you nasty fat pig." I yelled

Just then I gave him such a slap across the face, so much so that his whole body shook.

"She is not very well, and you should know better." I said

"Then if she is not very well, she should not be at school. I don't want to catch what she has." He said as he started to cry.

"You can't catch what she has you stupid boy." I said as I was then interrupted

"What on earth is going on here?" Said a ladies voice

Then he ran to her and said that I had hit him for no reason, as he began crying.

"You lying pig." I said

"There is no need for that language, what's your name?" she said

It was the playground assistant, who came to see what was going on

"You don't need my name, you need to sort him out as he has been teasing my sister; and my sister is not very well." I shouted

"Don't take that tone with me young lady, what is your name?" She scowled

"My name is Amanda Daniels, and this pig has been teasing my sister." I shouted

"There is no need to hit him Amanda, now go to the headmaster's office and I will be along shortly." She said

"Why do I have to go to the headmasters office, it should be him." I told her sarcastically.

Just before I turned around I told all the boys that it was not over with, and then I left. Just as I got out from the crowd, Greg and April came to me to see if I was alright; whilst Rebecca was still crying.

"What's up Amanda?" Greg asked

"Can you believe it? I had a go at Gary and slapped him and I have to go to the headmaster's office." I replied

"Told you I should have had a go at him, do you want me to come with you?" He asked

"No it is ok; just take care of Becca for me please. Becca let Greg take you back to class, and I will come and see you in a minute ok?" I told her

"Ok Manda and then will you take me home. I don't want to be here anymore, I am scared of Gary and I want to go home to mommy." She cried

"Yes I will take you home and we will tell mother what has happened." I said

Just then the bell rang for end of play, and I marched to the headmaster's office. April came along with me and told me that she would walk with me. We were both talking about the incident, and I was still furious. I knew I should not have name called as I had been taught how harmful it can be calling people names; but also I thought that boy had no rights to pick on other children. I then looked at April and said.

"I cannot believe some people, and what he did was out of order."

"It was, and god knows what would have happened if Greg had got hold of him." She replied

"It was a good job the playground assistant got there when she did, because I don't know what I would have done April." I replied

"I know, and I would hate to be the other person at the end of your fist." She laughed

I then put my fist up to her face, and began joking; where we both began laughing. Then we heard someone shout to us.

"Amanda; headmaster's office now SHARPISH."

"I am going as fast as I can." I shouted back.

"And you young lady, yes you not Amanda. Get back to class." She shouted

"I will see you in a minute April; tell Greg thanks for what he did." I told her

We then hugged each other, as she went to class and I went towards the headmaster's office. I had to wait outside until the assistant had caught up, where she went into his office to talk to him about what had happened.

"Amanda Daniels?" He said, as he opened his door.

"Yes headmaster." I replied, slightly shaking

"In my office now young lady." He said, as he then gave me a tap on the back of my head

I got up from the chair, and walked into his office rather nervously. No one liked the headmaster, even though Greg said he is all mouth and no trousers.

"What on earth have you been up to? What gives you the rights to slap a child?" He shouted

"What gives me the rights? What gives me the damn rights?" I shouted back

"Enough of that young lady, I am asking you a question." He replied

"Then if you ask a proper question I will answer you properly." I told him

I had never had call to be as insolent before, but I was still fuming over the incident; and it was me they reprimanded and not that Gary.

"What gives me the right is that the boy in question has been teasing my little sister." I said

"And did you not think to go and speak to a teacher about it?" He replied

"When anyone is having a go at my sister, I will have a go at them myself. No one; and I mean NO ONE headmaster will have a go at my sister." I said, now with my voice raised

"I do not like your attitude Amanda." He shouted

"I don't care what you like or don't like headmaster, no one has a go at my sister. Did you know she is not very well? She has leukemia for Christ's sake, and you just sit here in your posh office telling me I have no rights. You are having a laugh I think, and as for you; you are supposed to be an assistant and you let that boy bully everyone in the playground." I said shouting

"ENOUGH Amanda, I am going to write to your mother, as this is unacceptable. You can stay behind tonight, and pick up litter from the sports field." He said

"You write to my mother, and let me tell you something headmaster. I am not staying behind tonight, as I have a responsibility for my sister. You can pick up the litter yourself." I said as I was interrupted

"You do not tell me what to do." He said as I interrupted him

"I have not finished headmaster. You can pick up the litter, and let me tell you something. Mother and father know people in high places, and I will make sure they get you the sack. Now tell my mother I have said that to you." I said as I stormed out of his office.

The playground assistant was about to grab my arm, as I brushed passed her. I looked at her and then said.

"You lay one hand on me, and it will be the last time you ever lay a hand on anyone I promise you."

"Amanda Daniels, come here at once." The headmaster shouted, as I stormed out of his office.

"I cannot hear you." I shouted back.

I then walked down the corridor to my class, and once I arrived I looked at the teacher; as Greg noticed me looking upset, as he mimed the words 'are you ok?' I then told the teacher that the headmaster wanted to see April and Greg.

"Greg, April, you may be excused." He said

They left the classroom, and then I pulled them around the corner out of sight. I told them that the headmaster had a right go at me, and that we ended up shouting at each other.

"Good for you Amanda, I hope you told him what he can do as well?" Greg said; as he also went on to say he was a useless moron.

"The headmaster doesn't want to speak to you, I just got you out of class because I am not letting him or Gary get away with this. I am taking Becca home, will you come with me." I asked them

They both said yes, and then April told me that whilst I go and collect Becca, she will go back to class and get their things and meet us by the pottery shed. I got to Becca's classroom, and I knocked on the door and walked in. I told her teacher that the headmaster wanted to see Rebecca, and I rushed to her where I put my arms around her as she was now crying.

"I am taking you home Becca, don't cry; look Greg is outside." I said as I whispered it into her ear.

I picked up her books and put them in her backpack, and as I turned around I noticed Gary was about to sit down; so I moved his chair making him fall on the floor. I looked at him and just said.

"Oink, Oink."

I then looked at her teacher, and I was not sure she understood what I was on about; so I said.

"I am sorry Miss, I thought he had finished with his chair and moved to his trough."

I got to Greg, where he took over and held Becca, as I went to the cloakroom to get her coat. Just as we were walking across the playground, the headmaster saw us; and shouted over to us.

"Where do you think you are going?"

We ignored him, as he ran over to us and stopped us.

"Greg take Becca to April, I will sort this."

"Where do you think you are going?" He asked

"I am taking Becca home headmaster, and I am telling mother about you. You had best find a safe place to hide, because once my dad finds out that you have done nothing but have a go at me, he will come after you. Now get out of my face headmaster and do your job properly." I shouted

I then ran towards my classroom, and then went in between the classroom and the pottery sheds, where we made our way over the playing fields, and through the broken fence towards one of the side streets.

The next day mother walked Rebecca to school, as Greg, April and I were not far behind. Once mother had dropped Rebecca off to her class and helped settle her as she waited for her teacher; she then waited for the school bell to ring, and then giving us a kiss and a hug she braced herself as she walked me to the headmaster's office. There she then knocked on the door, when his secretary came out of his office and asked if she could be of any help.

"I am looking Mr Thornbridge." Mother replied

"If you take a seat, he will be a few minutes as he is in the staff room." She replied.

"May I ask who is asking?" She said

"Yes, it is Mrs Daniels." Mother replied

"Mrs Daniels, may I ask what it is about?" She asked

"It is about the bullying of my daughter, that's what it is about. So you can tell him he is going to get a length of my tongue." She replied rather furiously.

"Would you like me to go to my classroom mother? After all, I have shown you where the headmaster's office is." I told her

"Not yet Amanda, I want you to be with me when I give that headmaster what for. He is not going to chastise my children without hearing all the facts first." She replied

"I will be late for my registration mark." I told her

"You can get a late mark sweetheart, and it is not as though you were late as you were here with me; and we will make sure they know that." She replied.

Just then the headmaster opened his door, and looked at mother and said.

"Mrs Daniels, please come in. What is it I can do for you today?"

"You can sort out the bullying in this school for a start Mr Thornbridge, that's what you can do." She told him, as though he was a naughty boy.

"What is this we are talking about?" He asked

"The bullying of my daughter is what we are talking about Mr Thornbridge. So all I can assume is that you promote this sort of behaviour, as it seems you have done nothing to prevent this young boy from bullying my child." My mother scowled to him

"I promote no bullying at all Mrs Daniels, and whom are we talking about?" He asked

"The little parasite who is in my daughter's class; what's his name Amanda?" Mother asked

"His name is Gary Wellington." I replied

"Ah yes, Gary bloody Wellington we are talking about Mr Thornbridge. And apparently this is not the first time he has bullied children at this school." Mother shouted

"This is the first time this has come to my attention Mrs Daniels, I assure you. Yesterday was about Amanda slapping a boy across the face which is unacceptable in my school." He told mother

"First time indeed Mr Thornbridge, do not give me that excuse; he is a known bully and still you do nothing about it. And Amanda was acting as a caring sister who put this bully in his place. It was only a slap for Christ's sake; if it were more then I feel it would be only what he deserved." Mother yelled

"There is no need to yell Mrs Daniels, what do you expect me to do?" He asked

"Oh I think there is Mr Thornbridge, I think there is. Find him another school, as he should not be allowed to bully children here." Mother said.

"It is not that easy Mrs Daniels." He replied

"Sad was the day that Miss Marsh retired from the office of head teacher Mr Thornbridge, because this used to be a reputable school until you took over the office. Miss Marsh would never allow bullying to go on in her school, and she was very strict to the cause." Mother said rather sternly.

"Times have changed Mrs Daniels you cannot just remove a child from a school without going through the correct channels." He replied.

"They certainly have Mr Thornbridge, and you are not competent to hold your office. I am going to have a word with Jeffrey later today and ask him to sort this out. Are you aware that Rebecca has leukaemia and is not out of the woods yet, even if she is in remission?" Mother asked

"Yes I was made aware of her condition Mrs Daniels; however this is the first time this has been brought to my attention." He said.

"Poppycock, you have known for a long time that this boy is a persistent bully Mr Thornbridge. I will personally hold you responsible if anything happens to my daughter. And as for Jeffrey, I am sure you know that Jeffrey Addams is the director of the school board." Mother said

"Yes I know who Jeffrey is." He replied

"Well he is coming for dinner this evening with his wife, and I am going to put this into his hands." Mother said.

Mother just looked at him, and as she slapped her hand onto his desk she just said.

"You stand there and have the temerity to say that you do not promote bullying, when it is obviously a figment of your deluded imagination. A very good day to you Mr Thornbridge, you have not heard the last of this I assure you."

She then took me by the hand, as we left his office. So that I would not get into trouble, mother walked me to my classroom; where upon entering she explained to my teacher that I had been with her in the headmaster's office sorting out a little problem. Greg and April looked at me, and when I sat down I told them about mother giving the headmaster quite a grilling with her two penneth worth. Over the coming weeks, Mr Thornbridge did indeed get told off by the board of directors, and the boy in question was put on probation by the school. He was moved to another classroom, and a letter was sent to his parents. The playground assistants were put on strict guard, to make sure that he never pestered any child in the school and in the playground; and any signs of bullying he would be expelled. Although mother and father were indeed good friends with Mr Addams, he never really came for dinner; it was just sometimes mother used to name drop when she was infuriated. Yes they did know a few influential people, but mother never had the snobbery to go with it to put her in a position of favour.

Rebecca had another four years of remission to go, but we were all very positive and hopeful that she would get through this. Rebecca was so amazing, and was full of mischief and energy; just like that of any five and a half year old girl. She really was loving school and she was making new friends quickly, where she often played hopscotch or skipping with them before coming over to find me, April and Greg. I was never far from sight, as I was always somewhere on the playing fields by the first few fir trees. I always sat with Greg and April, that was unless Greg was playing football; where April and me would just sit and watch him. I have to admit that I did have a bit of a crush on Greg, but I really did not say anything and I was not sure if he knew or not. Rebecca was often invited to some of the other school children's homes to go to a party, but mother was still a little protective, and did not want her to far from sight. She did let her go sometimes, and nine times out of ten, I would be with her; as mother thought it was essential to give her some sort of childhood, even if she did molly cuddle her a little too much. I think the hardest thing for us was not being able to plan anything for fear of becoming disappointed with any occurrence. Although but for the odd temperature, she would be fine the rest of the day, and would resume playing either in the garden, with her school friends, or with me and April in the back garden or our bedroom. So as hard as it may have been then, we tried to live a normal life to the best of our ability. We never ever took the simpler things in life for granted, as we cherished every moment we had with making sure we got adequate family time. Our grandparents also had a big input to what was going on, with the odd times they would visit and stay with us; and then for all of us going to theirs for a break from London. Although it seemed at times that mother was not around, due to looking after Rebecca; and of course staying with her in hospital. Some may say I was the child that they forgot, but they would be wrong. Yes it was lonely at times, as father was at work and mother was with Rebecca; but I still had a healthy life. I had my other school friends, as well as spending all my time with Greg and April; and often after school I would go to their home until father came to pick me up. The times that mother was home with Rebecca, I would run into the house as I slammed the doors behind me; just to see how Rebecca was. I would run up to her and give her as big kiss, as I told her all about my day and tell her that her little friend at school had missed her.

"So is Gregory your boyfriend then?" She asked me

"No he is just a friend Becca." I replied

"But you do like him don't you?" She said

"He is nice yes, but we are not going steady together Becca." I replied

"But you like him don't you." She again said.

"Yes I do, but I have got no time yet." I told her

She then shouted out Manda's got a boyfriend, to which mother came over and said

"Oh and who is this boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend mother." I replied

"Manda has a boyfriend from school; it is Gregory mommy, April's brother." Rebecca said

"Oh I see, so you have a boyfriend now then?" Mother asked

"No mother, he is just a friend." I replied, as I began to get annoyed

I then looked at Rebecca and told her that I would get her back, as I began tickling her tummy.

"Right Amanda, I will let you two play for a few minutes, but please get out of your school uniform first. Dinner will be about twenty minute's time." Mother told me

It was nothing special, just Rebecca's favourite which was fish fingers chips and peas. We often took it in turns with meals, as I liked burger and chips, and spaghetti Bolognese. Rebecca had her favourites which were fish fingers, and she also liked shepherd's pie; and we both loved mothers Sunday roast dinner that was when Rebecca had an appetite.


	9. Mini London Marathon

Mini London Marathon

Rebecca was now seven years old, and had been in remission for the last two years. She had developed a liking for being outdoors, and loved helping others so much, that she decided to enter the London marathon. She was not going to run the whole of the marathon, but with the charity organisers, it was put into place that she would walk the last few miles from between the number 24 and 25 station. Our route was going to be starting at the Embankment tube into Northumberland Avenue, past Charles Statue. We would then be walking past Admiralty Arch and into The Mall, and past Buckingham Palace; where we would go into Spur Road and then to the home straight of Birdcage Walk. The last part would be into Great George street, past Parliament and Big Ben; finishing on Westminster Bridge. Rebecca was very excited that morning, as we began breakfast before getting ready to make our way into London. We were going to meet the charity organisers there, and of course Rosie said she would see Rebecca at the starting gate. After we had finished breakfast, we both went upstairs to get washed and changed; where we both wore matching tracksuits. Mother did try and keep us almost identical with certain clothing, and this was no exception. We both had grey Nike tracksuits with a pink stripe going down the leg, however Rebecca wanted to wear a pair of shorts with a t-shirt, but it was not that hot and mother thought it would be best if we were a little more covered. We finally got to the start gate, after a long journey, and also having to show our passes because of the amount of people who were heading into London. When we had managed to fight our way through the bustling crowd we got to our starting point. Rebecca noticed Rosie was speaking to one of the charity organisers, and she let go of fathers hand as she ran towards her. Once we had spoken to everyone, and we had a drink of water before starting, father went ahead of the crowd towards the finish line; as mother stayed with us as she was going to walk with us just to give us that extra support. With this being her biggest platform yet to raise awareness of leukaemia, Rebecca had become quite the celebrity with the news reporters often interviewing her. This was now not just a sponsored walk in the park, but an event within a big event as it was the 1990 London Marathon. The sponsors had arranged not only with the marathon officials, but also with the officials of the City of London; where they had placed their stand on the marker of the last two miles. This would be the furthest Rebecca would have walked, but nothing deterred her from wanting to do this. She wanted to walk even further, but as this was not just her, but some of the other children too from the hospital, as well as supporters and of course her nurse Rosie; they thought that this would be the best solution, as some of the children could not walk unaided. So that there was not an overlap of the marathon competitors, and our campaign; we were told that as soon as the marathon had started, we too will start which gave us a few hours to get our walk out of the way; and then give complete safety towards the marathon competitors. Looking back now this was a very good suggestion by the authorities, as it would not have been an over spill, and we would not have got in the way of the main event. As soon as the last person walked from our start position, the charity organisers took down our start position platform so that it was not in the way of other runners. The cameras followed us through our walk, as the crowd applauded all of us who took part, as they placed their loose change into the buckets that some of the walkers had with them. We finally got to Westminster Bridge, and with a burst of energy; Rebecca let go of my hand and ran the last hundred yards, with the roar of the crowd as they shouted in support of her with a deafening thunder of hands clapping together in applause. She ran right into father's arms, as he picked her up and gave her a big hug and kiss. He then put her down, as she waited by the finish line for her friends from the hospital, as she offered them a small bottle of water and a rosette from the organisers. We had finished just in time, as in the far distance of Birdcage walk; we saw the first of the runners of the marathon just coming into view. The cameras were fixed on Rebecca, as the reporter asked questions from the charity organiser, before going over to Rebecca to ask how she felt, and they asked her what was it like running the last few miles on the now famous London Marathon streets. Rebecca was never full of herself, as she was not a self-centred girl. She explained that it was hard as she was constantly out of breath, but she did it because we do not understand yet all of what it is like to live with leukaemia or any other cancer; that she did it for all of her friends, and that she would do it again because it was fun. When the reporter told her that she was a little star, she interrupted her telling her that she was not a star, she was a little girl who felt passionate about helping others. She did this because some of her friends in hospital were too poorly to join her, and that it was because of them that they gave her the strength to do what she was doing. Rebecca then looked at the reporter, and as she tugged on her sleeve she said

"Do you know Mrs Lady camera speaker? If just each person gave £1, we would have a lot of money to help all the children in the hospital, and a lot of money to help even the adults who have leukemia or cancer. Just £1 and that's a price of a burger."

The reporter agreed, and as the cheeky side of Rebecca came out, she placed her hand out and asked them both for a pound. The reporter and the cameraman smiled and dug deep into their pockets and gave her a pound and other change from their pockets. She then hugged them and thanked them, where she then put the money in the bucket that Nurse Rosie was holding. It had been a very big day for Rebecca, and we could see now that she was getting a little tired; so father suggested that we make our way back home, and as a treat we would go by bus. We had arrived at the marathon by taking bus and train, because father did not want to use the car as he knew it would be far too busy on the roads; and he knew that we would have to expect delays. Rebecca loved the big red London buses, but was not very keen on the tube as she felt closed in, and did not like the noise. So as we made our way through the crowds, and as she said her goodbyes to Rosie, and some of the other children; we headed towards the bus stop. Once we arrived home, I asked if I could go around to April's house with her; which mother agreed as she put Rebecca on the couch to have a rest from her big day. Mother plumped up the cushions as she told Rebecca to have forty winks, and that she would make her a nice glass of cola before getting dinner sorted. April and Greg wanted to help in the walk today, but they told me that they could not make it as their grandparents were coming over for the day; so I told them that I would go round and see them after we had finished the walk if mother said it was ok. Father then went into the garage, where he spent a few hours tendering to his car as he usually did on a weekend; and ended up going to the garage to fill the car up with petrol ready for work the next day. I then spent a few hours with Greg and April, before coming home to find Rebecca was still fast asleep on the couch.


	10. Admission To Hospital

Admission To Hospital

It was not long after this walk that again Rebecca became poorly. We thought at first she was coming down with a cold, as she had a runny nose and was coughing and sneezing. Mother went to the chemist where she brought the good old faithful Calpol. After a further day of only getting worse, now with a temperature that soared off the charts, mother then decided to take her to the doctors. Rebecca had a period of time where she was constantly catching cold and chest infections, but mother knew that this time it was something more than that; as this was worse than the others, as it had more of an effect on her breathing, as she struggled as she coughed. Whilst at the doctors, the doctor told mother that Rebecca will have to go to hospital, and the lady doctor phoned the ambulance right away. Mother phoned me whilst I was at home and then told me to go around to Barbara's or April's until father got home, as she was going to phone him once she knew I was safe. Once she had gone to hospital, she was admitted right away to her usual ward; and mother stayed with her a few hours before coming home, then she told father and me what the doctor had said. She told us that he said she had an acute lower respiratory infection otherwise known as pneumonia. That she could have contracted it because it was not long ago that she had influenza, and he felt she had not completely got rid of it. She had been poorly a further week after the flu, after she had got over the majority of the sniffles; and we all thought she was fine. But she still seemed to have prolonged symptoms of wheezing and coughing, which mother thought could have been another cold or asthma. It was only when she had an x-ray whilst being admitted to hospital, that the doctors said that it was pneumonia. She was kept in hospital a further three weeks, where she was given stronger antibiotics, and lots of fluid to drink, as well as from time to time she had the fluids put in a drip whilst she slept. When Rebecca was in hospital, mother had come home, after a few days of staying with her; so she could have a nice bath and get a few more clean clothes. She was quite lucky that she was still working part time, and her place of work were absolutely brilliant towards her; by letting her take as much time off as she needed. I stopped at home, as I had April and Greg come and stay with me, and then in the evening when father came home; he used to get changed and we would go together and go and see Rebecca; as Greg and April went back home and waited for me to get back. Whilst I was at home, mother said that if I needed anything, I was to go to the lady next door as she would sort me out; whilst I waited for father, or I could go to Mrs Chambers, but either way I had to leave a note for father to let him know where I was. If I was on my own, mother always asked her to just pop in and make sure I was ok, but nine times out of ten; if I was not with April and Greg's house, they were at mine. It did not matter if I was home alone, as I was not an unruly child, and the lady next door did come round a few times in the day to see if we were ok; apart from being able to see us in the back garden from her kitchen window.

So mother went upstairs to take a shower, and get changed. She went into Rebecca's room to pick up a few clothes, and then came back downstairs.

"Mother, do you love me?" I asked

"Yes I love you Amanda, why would you ask me that?" she relied

"Sometimes it feels like you don't. Becca." I said as I was interrupted

"Is this because of Rebecca? She is poorly Amanda." She replied

"Yes I know she is poorly mom, I am reminded of it every single day. It is just that you never seem to have time for me anymore." I said as I had a few tears start to come to my eyes

"Amanda, my time is given to Rebecca more, sure I will not deny that. But it does not mean I do not love you any less. Would you prefer I left Rebecca alone at the hospital, and spent the day shopping with you?" She said in a bit of a temper

"Of course not mom, although it would be very nice to go shopping with you from time to time; and you know I am not that selfish." I said

"Then why are we having this conversation?" She asked

"Because it feels like you do not have time for me anymore mom. When you are not at the hospital, you just sit in the lounge in your own little world. Even if Becca and I are playing outside, you seem to be more interested in her well-being than mine." I cried

"Amanda don't be so silly, I am always careful with Rebecca that's why; because I worry about her." She replied

"Yes that's just it mom, you worry about her; and I have never once heard you say that you worry about me. Come to think about it, I have never heard you say that I love you either mom." I told her

"Well you are a daddy's girl anyway Amanda and I do love you. I just know that you are ok, and I am so thankful for your help." She said to me

"Well once in a while, it would be nice to be told that you're loved." I said

"I do love you Amanda, now stop being silly. I am struggling to cope with all of this Amanda, but I have to be strong and plod on for Rebecca. If I don't give you all of what you want, it is because I am trying to understand what is going on with Rebecca. I am learning to just cope with taking each day as it comes, and not take it for granted Amanda." She said, now getting tearful herself.

"I am so sorry mom, it is just that I really do miss you too. I wish Becca never had this illness, and every day I ask why; why us?" I cried

"I know sweetheart, I ask the same all the time." She replied

"I love you mom." I said now very tearful

"And I love you too Amanda you silly girl, now I have to get back to the hospital. Your dad will be home soon, and Barbara next door said if you need anything to go round and see her." She said

"Ok mom, but April will be here in a bit." I replied

"Ok sweetheart." She said

She then said goodbye, as she gave me a hug and kissed me on the forehead; as I waited for my father to come home; as again she called me a silly girl as she kissed me on the forehead. The next day when I got up, I had my wash and had brushed my teeth, when I then took father in a cup of tea and some toast with a little pot of jam. He asked how I was, and I just lay on the bed with him talking, as he placed a slice of toast in my mouth. He then placed his arm over my shoulder and brought me close to his chest where he told me that he loved me. I just spent about ten minutes having a cuddle with father, telling him little stories of no interest really as they were girly stories. Then I got off the bed, and told him I was going to go downstairs to watch a bit of television until he got out of bed and got up. Just as I got off the bed, father got up and then threw a pillow at me. I looked at him and gave him a dirty look, so he threw another pillow at me. With that I got the pillows and before I got back up he picked me up and threw me on the bed where we had a pillow fight for a few minutes. I told him that mother would not be happy us jumping on the bed and having a pillow fight; especially as these pillows were brand new from Debenhams.

"Your mother is not here, so what she does not know will not hurt her." He said, as again he hit me with the pillow almost knocking me off the bed.

Shortly after our fight I told him we must get up and get ourselves ready, and that we must make the bed as it looks like a bomb site.

"You need to get out of your pyjamas dad, and start to get ready." I said to him

"Ok Princess, have you seen my other slipper, as it has come off during our fight." He asked me as he now lay on the bed looking under the duvet.

"Have you tried looking on the floor by mom's side of the bed, because we did jump over there?" I replied, not letting on to him that I had it in my hand.

Just as father reached over to mothers side of the bed, and he moved his head so that it was looking underneath the bed; I jumped on the bed and slapped him across the bum with his slipper, and goodness didn't I half make him jump.

"You sneaky little devil." He said, as he got back up and jumped off the bed chasing me out of the bedroom.

I ran into my room and shut the door behind me, as he tried to get in. But I was leaning against the door, and kept telling him that it served him right and he should take a shower now. I never heard anything for a while except for the bathroom door to open and then the shower to start running, so I opened the door and started to make my way across the landing. All of a sudden father jumped out at me from Rebecca's room and made me jump out of my skin, where he then chased me back into my room and hit me with my pillows; as we ended up having another pillow fight. After all the excitement, I again told father to take a shower, and I would make a pot of tea for him. He then got up and gave me a kiss on the cheek, as he made his way to the bathroom.

"We have not played like that for ages Amanda, and now you are growing up you are getting too fast for your old man." He said as he laughed.

"I am dad, and you had best be careful I do not slap you with your slipper again." I replied

"It was fun though wasn't it? I am just glad your mother was not here as she would have given us both a good slippering." He said; as he put his finger to his mouth as to say keep it a secret.

"Yes dad, and not to mention the fact you would have also had Becca gang up on you." I replied smiling

"Ah yes, the two of you together ganging up on your dad. I do not think that is fair somehow." He said as he made his way towards the bathroom

About an hour later we had made the beds, so that mother did not know what we had been up to; even though she would have had a right giggle after she had told father off. She knew that father was just as much a big kid as we were, but did not like a lot of mess in the house. The back door opened and in walked April, as we were going to go to the hospital together today with father. As we got to the hospital, we made our way up to the ward, and Rebecca was sitting on the bed with mother; talking contentedly. Within twenty minutes of us being there, the doctor came in to see mother, and told mother and father that Rebecca could go home, as she would be discharged shortly; as everything seemed to have cleared up. Rebecca stood up on the bed, and threw her arms around me in joy, as we almost fell off the bed. Father told us to sit down for a while, as he and mother needed to wait for the discharge papers, and had to see if Rebecca needed any medicine to take home. I just lay on the bed with Rebecca, and put one of my earphones into her ear, and started to play some music from my cassette player. All of a sudden April had a funny moment, where she placed one part of her earphones onto Mr Pipkins, which really made Rebecca laugh. We just then all lay on the bed, until mother told us to get up as we were leaving. Rebecca said goodbye to Rosie, as father gathered the cases, as we all left the hospital to go home.


	11. Visit To The Television Studio's

Visit To The Television Studios

So after another three weeks in hospital Rebecca was given the all clear to come home. She ended up having two courses of antibiotics fed through a drip, as her throat was so sore from coughing that she could hardly talk let alone swallow. I had made her a little bed on the sofa, so that she did not feel left out and alone in her bedroom, while we were all doing our things. She was ever so grateful; as it meant that she could watch television downstairs and be pampered by mother and father. I was just about to go into town with April, and not into the city, but to our local town as we wanted to go into the record store, and buy something special together for Rebecca which was April's idea. Rebecca then asked if she could come with us and I told her that she couldn't as she has only just got out of hospital and needed to have more rest.

"I hate this leukemia Manda." Becca said, as she hugged tightly onto to the quilt

"I hate it too Becca, but it was pneumonia and not leukemia." I replied as I sat next to her

"Being poorly always gets in the way Manda, and it is so not very fair." She whispered

"I know Becca, but I will not be for long." I replied as I put my arm around her.

"I want to come with you Manda; I am fed up at staying in all the time. I really hate being poorly Manda, and I just want to do things that little girls do." She said as she began to get a little upset

"Tell you what Becca. Why don't you get a blanket and some party things together, and when we get back we will all have a picnic in the garden under the magnolia tree." I replied as it seemed to perk her up a little

"Really Manda?" She asked now very excited

"Yes really Becca. April and me will go into town and get a few things; and when we get back, which will be around 2pm; we will come inside and let you know we are here. So get it all nice for us, and make it very partyish." I replied as I gave her a big hug.

"Ok Manda. I love you Manda, and I am sorry for being poorly all the time." She said as she put her arms around me

"It's not your fault Becca, so there is no need to be sorry. Just get the picnic things ready and I will bring you some cola and crisps. Mommy will help you I am sure if you ask her." I said as I now began to get off the couch, to get ready

"Ok Manda, see you soon." She replied now feeling much better and happier at what I had said.

So April and I went into town, and before going to the record shop we stopped off at Starbucks to get a smoothie each. We started chatting about school, as well as what we wanted to be when we grew up. We both wanted the same thing, as we both loved school and wanted to be junior school teachers. When we had finished having a girly chat, we went along to the record store where we got Rebecca a few Kylie tapes that were on the discount shelf, and then made our way to the supermarket to get fizzy drinks and crisps, as well as cakes and chocolate. When we got home Rebecca had laid the blanket on the ground with four places, as she always had one for Mr Pipkins; and we had a lovely afternoon laughing together, as we stuffed our face and had hardly any room left for dinner. It was so nice seeing Rebecca back in high spirits, as she laughed with us and played with Mr Pipkins by feeding him crisps and cola.

It was now coming up to autumn, and it was that time of year where the school was getting ready for the Christmas play. Much to our surprise and delight Rebecca was given the leading role in the school play as Mary in the nativity play. She began rehearsals and took to her lines very well and remembered then very quickly. When it was time for her to perform on stage, mother and father had front row seats; and it was whilst we were watching her on stage, that we knew she was destined to be an actress.

But it would be a further conversation which would prove us wrong…..

Just after Christmas, Rebecca had already begun to get a name for herself with her charity work. And apart from planning some walks, she also did a charity bake day; where she would make cakes with mother and sell them on the front garden, for the neighbours and passers-by. It was in the New Year that mother had received a surprise letter in the post from the television studios. We were invited as guests to a programme they made just for children called 'A gift of a wish.' When mother explained to Rebecca that we were going on television, she was very excited. She told us that she never heard the name of the show, and she hoped it was a lot of fun. It took us a few hours to calm her down, and then she did not understand why she was going on television; but for the fact she thought it was because of her sponsored walks and marathon that she had done. Prior to us attended the television studio's, the nurses had put Rebecca's name up for a wish, because of all that she had done. No one would have even dreamed what the outcome of the show would be. We made our way to the studios and Rebecca was in a lovely salmon pink floaty party dress, with her faithful Mr Pipkins; and as we were sitting in the audience, she noticed a few of her friends from the hospital, so she waved to them as she told us who they were. As the show started, the presenters called the names of children to go onto the stage, where they were given special presents for their bravery and their work. Finally it had come to the end of the show, as Rebecca turned to me and told me what a wonderful day out she had had, and how it was nice to see all of those happy children get some nice presents. Then whilst we were still talking, the presenters began talking about a very special little girl, who thought of others before herself even though she herself was a poorly little girl; with numerous stays in the hospital for one thing or another. They went on to give the audience a brief account of what this special little girl had done, as they then announced Nurse Rosie, who came onto the stage. Rebecca could not believe it as she kept pulling on my cardigan to tell me that it was Rosie. So as Rosie was on stage she filled in some missing gaps, and told the audience of Rebecca's wonderful achievements whilst battling with her own illness. The audience started applauding, as well as having tears in their eyes as they listened to the bravery of this little girl; who by now mother and I knew who they were talking about, but still did not know what the surprise was. It was then that the presenters announced to the audience that it was Rebecca, and they invited us to come and sit with them on the stage. Rebecca was over excited, as she almost ran down those stairs and into the arms of Rosie. Once we all got to the stage and were greeted by the presenters, as her story then started to unfold even more with each story that Rosie mentioned. The audience laughed, and cried and gave her a numerous support of applause. Then they introduced a very special guest on stage. As we were looking around it was then that they introduced Richard Branson to the stage, to which Rebecca asked who he was. He came onto stage bearing some gifts for Rebecca, and then gave us all a surprise of our lives. As the presenters and Mr Branson spoke of her work, and how delighted he was to see her; he then announced that he had one last surprise for her. Whilst he was talking there were pictures being shown on the screen behind us of his airline and crew, and of dolphins swimming with children. He then told Rebecca that it would be his honour to award her a two week holiday in Florida, courtesy of Virgin Holidays; where they would stay in a luxury villa with all expenses paid for six people. As Rebecca started to clap her hands at the same time the audience did, he then placed his hand on her hands as he told her there was more. He then announced that she would also be going to swim with dolphins, as a VIP at the dolphin park at Daytona Beach. Well that was too much as Rebecca got off her seat and threw her arms around him, just as the dolphins film was being shown at the back of us.

It was nearly a month after that day at the studios that Rebecca finally began to calm down; as I think by now she had told everyone in the street, as well as told grandma and grandpa every time they phoned. Mother and father looked over all of the details of the holiday, and a number of times they said that the villa was like a palace, and that it was for more than six people as it had five bedrooms. Once the reality had finally kicked in, and they were able to put their feet back on the ground; they started making a few lists. Father asked our grandparents if they would like to go, which they jumped at the offer, as it meant they got out of Ramsgate; and they had not really had a proper holiday since their honeymoon. Most importantly thought they said it would be lovely to see Rebecca swim with dolphins, and it would have been something they would kick themselves afterwards if they had said no. Rebecca was so pleased that they were coming, as she said it was like a real family holiday abroad, and something that had never been done before. After a long deliberation, it was suggested that they also ask Greg and April, as they too had been a big part of our family; and they too helped out when it came to Rebecca. So father phoned Greg's mom and asked her to come over to see them. Once she turned up, with Greg and April in tow; father then asked her to sit down. He then went on to mention about the holiday to Florida, and he asked her if it would be ok for Greg and April to come along with us. After a lengthy discussion, because I think she was a little embarrassed; because she did not have that much money. Greg and April just sat there, as Rebecca was going through the book with the dolphins; as she could see how excited they were. Father told her that money was no object, as they had saved up for a holiday that year, but now this has come along there was extra money now spare for the Florida holiday that he knew he could put to good use. Still Greg and April stayed quiet, as you could see they wanted to go, but they were not the type of children to keep on asking. Again after a lengthy discussion, their mother just looked at them and then asked if they wanted to go. April began to cry, as Greg was elated with the thought of going abroad.

"You will have to do some extra chores around the house though, if you want to go on holiday." She said to them

"We will mom, whatever you want us to do we will do. And thank you mom." They both said, as they ran to her and threw their arms around her.

"Oh crikey the passports, you do not have a passport, what will I do?" She said now panicking.

Father then told her that the holiday was not for another three months as they were thinking of going over in the Easter holidays, so she would have time to get the application forms from the post office and get them sent away in plenty of time. Father also mentioned to Greg that if he washed his car every weekend, that he too would give them some extra money, as mother suggested to April to help with the housework and looking after Rebecca. The house just lit up with the wonder of merriment, as we could not believe what was going on. As promised, the following weekends that come and passed by, Greg would help father in the garage to wash the car, as well as help him valet the inside too; and April helped mother with the housework and looking after Rebecca, which was nothing new as she often did that anyway. About two months in to our extra work for the holiday, the telephone rang. It was June, and she wanted to speak to mother, so I handed the phone over to her as I went into the kitchen to make a pot of tea. Mother had been on the telephone a good thirty minutes with June, and then she came in to the kitchen where she then told me that Timothy had passed away in the night.

"I am going to have to tell Rebecca, she will be devastated Amanda." Mom said, as she started to cry.

"Mom let me do it; I will take a glass of warm milk up to her and tell her." I replied as I placed my hand onto hers

"Ok sweetheart, you are a darling." She said.

I made a glass of warm milk for Rebecca, as she was having a lie in. I knocked on her bedroom door, and called out to see if she was awake.

"Hello Becca, did you have a nice sleep?" I asked

"I did Manda; I have not slept like that for such a long time. What time did I go to bed?" She asked

"You went to bed at eight pm, but you were watching videos; so I really don't know when you finally dropped off. I know mom told me that she turned off the television around midnight." I replied

"I can't remember; I don't even know what I was watching to be honest." She replied

"Becca, I have something to tell you." I told her

"Oh and what's that Manda?" She replied

"I don't know how to start Becca."

"Just tell me Manda, you can't leave me wondering like this. What is it?" She replied

I sat on the bed where I made myself comfortable, and then I looked her in the eyes as I grabbed her hand when I then said,

"I have some really sad news to tell you, are you ready Becca?" I asked

"I am ready Manda, what is wrong?" She asked

"Becca I am so sorry, but your friend Timothy has passed." I told her

"Passed, what do you mean?" She replied

"Timothy has passed away Becca, he has gone to heaven." I told her

"Oh Manda, what am I going to do, he was my hospital buddy." She said, as she started to cry as she dropped her face into my lap.

"Hey come here Becca. He would have wanted you to be strong, because he is in heaven now." I replied

"He was my bestest friend in all of the world Manda. Is that what's going to happen to me Manda?" She asked

"No Becca, you are in remission, and as long as you take your medication; you will be fine." I explained

"If anything ever happens to me Manda, please promise me you will look after mommy and daddy." She asked, as the tears flooded from her beautiful little eyes

"Don't talk like that Becca." I said, as I began to get upset myself, because of what Rebecca had just said

"Just promise me Manda, please." She cried, as she grabbed both my arms and looked directly at me.

"I promise, now stop it Becca; Timothy was very poorly and nothing could be done." I said now crying with her

"Manda, can I please have a hug?" She asked

"Course you can Becca, come here." I replied

I held her close to me as we both cried together, as we spoke of the first time that she had met Timothy; and how close they had got in hospital. That was the first and last time, that Becca ever broke down in tears in front of me. I then left her alone, as I told her to go back to sleep.

"Mother will be up later to see if you are ok, but until then Becca, try and get some more sleep. I am so sorry I had to come up and give you such sad news, but I just thought it was better coming from me than from mother." I told her

"Thank you Manda, please tell mommy I am ok. I just need to be alone a little bit." She replied rather upset.

I left her alone, and told mother that she is upset; and that I had told her to get a bit more sleep.

Rebecca was quiet for a few weeks, and mother also thought it was best that she did not go to the funeral; as she did not know how she would react. We tried to take her mind off things by mentioning the holiday, and talking about things other than Timothy.

Over the coming weeks it got better, as when we mentioned Timothy, Rebecca always talked about the happier times and did not focus on the worse of times. She soon got her stride back, and a few weeks before our holiday, she had got herself into the holiday spirit; with shopping trips to town with mother and father to pick out some new clothes.


	12. Swimming With Dolphins

Swimming With Dolphins

It was now the day of our holiday, and as usual Rebecca became very excited. Grandpa had to look after her; whilst mother and father made sure everything was in check before we made our way to Gatwick. As there were eight of us, father had pre-booked a taxi to take us to the airport; and not the expensive black cabs either. Greg and April stayed the night with us as we had an early flight; so they gave their hugs and kisses to their mother the night before. This did not stop their mother from getting up early though, and coming into the house to make sure we all had not missed anything. I personally think it was because their mother really had not been away from her children, and she did what parents always do; and that was worry about them. Just before we got into the taxi, we all in turn went over to Mrs Chambers and gave her a hug and a kiss; as father told her not to worry as they would look after Greg and April. I know that father and mother would have also invited Mrs Chambers, but he did not want to take advantage of the kindness of Mr Richard Branson, and his airline. As we got to the check in gates, we handed our suitcases to the baggage operator, who then told us to go straight to the VIP lounge.

"Oooohhhh very posh Manda, we are VIP's" Rebecca said all excited.

"Just like pop stars Becca." I replied.

We were directed to the VIP lounge by a representative, as he walked with us through customs, and then escorted us into the VIP lounge. They had put on food and drink for us, as well as given us a personal shopper should we wish to go to duty free. Our lounge was also cut off from the other VIP's as we were escorted into a private suite. It was like being royalty, having views of the runways, and as much to eat and drink as we wanted. Greg and father made us laugh, as they were the first to go for the cakes, whilst Becca being Becca, tasted a few things and then put them back on the plates. About thirty minutes before we were supposed to make our way to the boarding gate, we noticed a lot of photographers come into our suite, as all of a sudden a man with a beard came in to see us; and it was then that we knew it was Richard Branson, where he then addressed Rebecca, with whom he told her that he hoped she had a very nice holiday. Once the photographers had taken all of their pictures they needed, it gave the family time to chat with Mr Branson, before we had our tickets checked to board the plane. It was at this time they had noticed that Greg and April had economy tickets, and should not be in the VIP lounge; and somehow with all the excitement and commotion, they had slipped through. Mr Branson asked what all the commotion was about, when one of the representatives pointed out that Greg and April, was holding economy tickets and should not be there; at the same time security came over.

"Sorry to interrupt Mr Daniels, are these two children with you?" He asked

"Yes they are, is there a problem?" My father replied as he told Mr Branson who was in his party

"They seem to have economy tickets, instead of first class like yours." Mr Branson said, as he checked the tickets.

"Oh right. That is because we brought extra tickets for them, so as not to waste a bedroom on holiday; and they are just as much a part of our family. I really did not think Mr Branson, it is my mistake I am afraid." Father explained.

As everyone was very puzzled and buzzing around, as they wondered what on earth was going on. Mr Branson told security that everything was ok, as he told his staff to upgrade them to first class with his compliments. We were very pleased with what he did for us, as we got to stay together; but knew he did not have to do anything with it being fathers fault. Father said he just did not think to book first class as everything was a last minute panic, and he did not do this to get special treatment; because he did not think we were travelling first class. Both father and Mr Branson had a laugh, as we were escorted personally to the plane before everyone else; not before mother told him that he should have checked the tickets. We settled in nicely ready for a long journey ahead of us, as the crew made us feel as comfortable as possible; and without us feeling like we should not be there. When we were on our way, the engines roared as Rebecca looked out of the window as we made our way for take-off. When we were safely in the air and were able to take our belts off, Rebecca could not believe how nice and posh the seats were. The crew came round and made sure that we were all very comfortable, and whatever we wanted through the journey; we only needed to ask for. Father and grandpa started on the whisky, as mother and grandma had a bottle of champagne between them which was also courtesy of Mr Branson. Greg April and myself had orange juice, but mother was a little naughty as she poured just the tiniest amount of champagne into our glasses. Greg however did not like the taste of it, and pulled a face quite a few times as he told us he could never get used to it; whilst Rebecca had a glass of cola, which was also her favourite. Rebecca was happy with the films that were played, and it kept her content during the flight. There was even a surprise for Rebecca, as one of the crew asked her to go with her because the captain would like to see her. Rebecca was escorted to the cockpit with the crew member, whilst we all sat back and watched her face just beam. When she returned, she told us that she spoke to the captain, and that she sat in a chair that was just next to the door. She told us that the captain was very pleased to see her, and that he thought she was a very special girl. We then kept asking if she got in the captains seat to fly the plane, to which she laughed and told us she was far too small to fly the plane, but she was able to see out of the captain's window and see all of the clouds ahead which was just like flying over cotton wool. And as a special present, the captain gave her a badge which was a Virgin Airline pin, a she pointed to her dress where the pin was placed. Father told her that if she sat in a chair behind the captain, that it was more like the seats that first or second observer sat in; and that they must have thought her very special to stand in between the captain and first officer. After a long flight, we finally got to Florida, and as VIPs, we never went to the usual customs area, as we went into the VIP lounge to get checked, before our bags were brought to us and a private car, well van drove us to our villa. When we got to the villa, it was absolutely enormous and beautiful. Greg, April and me just dropped our bags as we ran inside and just gazed in amazement at the beautiful staircase; until we got to the bedrooms that we liked. The rest of the day was a matter of sorting our clothes out, and getting settled into the villa; whilst father and grandpa, decided to drive to the nearest store to fetch a few provisions so that we could have something to eat later. As it was a hot day, they decided to prepare a bbq, and put lots of salad and fruit on the table to compliment the food, as well as it being an eat what you want kind of day. Today was the day that we were going to visit the dolphin park at Daytona Beach. The driver came to Orlando, where he picked us all up in a private van to take us there, and he would bring us back when we had finished. When we got to the dolphin park, we could see that the dolphins were already playing with their trainers; as they jumped in and out of the pool. We were then escorted into the building, where we went underground to the underwater viewing stations. When this was over, one of the trainers came over to us and introduced herself to us, where we had a brief talk before going out to meet the dolphins. We all suited up and walked into the lagoon, as mother and father, Rebecca and I got into the pool whilst Greg, April and my grandparents stood on the side. Just as we did this, one of the dolphins that had been playing earlier came up to us and lay on his side, as he waved to us and we waved back. Rebecca was a little nervous and held onto mother, as she was not quite sure of the situation. The dolphin then came right by us, so that we could stroke him; but still Rebecca was a little wary of the dolphin. Then the lady trainer showed us both a command, to make the dolphin do a trick. So as I put my hand on my forehead, just like I was saluting; I then quickly pushed it into the air. The dolphin dived into the pool, where he swam a short distance before displaying his acrobatic skills by jumping in and out of the water. He was then being very clever but silly, which made me laugh. I started to splash him, and he then splashed me back; as Rebecca got a little more confidence and did the same as I did. We were told that his name was Drake, and my dolphin was named Daisy. We were told that there were two programmes, at the dolphin park; being a wade and a swim. Mother thought that a wade would be better, as we did not need the use of a snorkel or to go in deeper water. Rebecca and I stepped into the water which was about three or four feet deep, we were approached by another dolphin; where we were gradually introduced to them. We were told that our programme would last around thirty minutes, which would give us the ability to first of all interact with our dolphins; as we touched them. We were also given a fish where we could feed them, but Rebecca did not like the fish as she pulled a funny face. I then held onto the dorsal fin of my dolphin as I swam around the pool from one side to the other in no more than six feet of water. This was a dream come true for Rebecca, after the many dolphins she saw on our visits to Uncle Stephen's. Mother thought that this was a wonderful idea, and not just because of the therapeutic elements it brought to Rebecca, but more for the fact her dream had come true and she began playing like a little girl again. We could see that the dolphins had triggered Rebecca's emotions, as she cried and laughed. The dolphin that Rebecca had charge of, picked up on her emotions and would not leave her side. He motivated her to come out of her shell, until she was comfortable enough to take hold of the dorsal fin to have a swim with him around the pool. We had never seen Rebecca so happy, that it brought a tear to mother and father eyes as well as our grandparents. Now instead of just looking to see where Drake was, she stopped looking at mother and made more contact with him; as she smiled and laughed at the dolphin's funny antics and behaviour. She touched Drake more, as she stroked him as she held onto his dorsal fin; and even kissed him on the nose. Drake was very playful but also very mischievous, as when Rebecca threw the beach ball to him; he would nose punch it back to her as he then disappeared under the water and sneaked up behind her, gently letting her know that he was there. Daisy was the opposite, as to the fact she was just very playful and a show off, as she loved getting out of the pool and swimming backwards on her tail fin. This was a holiday of a lifetime, and one we would never forget, as mother told father she had not seen Rebecca and me have so much fun, and that this was a long time coming. Grandpa was filming everything that was going on, as he too had moments of tears and moments of laughter. The funniest part was when Drake came over to grandma and gave her a big kiss, and when she went to wipe her face her teeth fell into the pool. None of us could stop laughing, as she panicked about losing her teeth. Greg came to the rescue though as he dived in and picked them up, just as Daisy came behind him and bumped into his bum. My goodness he didn't half scream; which also made dad laugh as he asked grandpa if he had got it on film. We spent a good three hours at the dolphin park, and this one going to be one of those holiday experiences that would stay with us for years to come. Once we had finished playing with the dolphins, we made our way out of the park, as we picked up the photos that were taken of us with the dolphins; as we all began laughing again of the day's events; and Rebecca still being very hyper with excitement. When we finally got out of the park our driver was already waiting for us, as Rebecca ran over to him and told him about her day. He was a lovely man, and he was not one of these people who just wanted you to hurry up, so that he could continue with his day. He took the patience of letting us gather our things, as he placed Rebecca in the van and listened to her story. When we were all ready, and the car was packed; the driver then took us back to the villa. When we arrived at the villa, father and grandpa got together and gave him a rather nice tip, which the driver was over the moon with. Rebecca again ran up to him and thanked him for driving us there, where he picked her up and gave her a hug as he told her to enjoy the rest of her vacation. That night everyone slept well, and the next morning when we all got up we decided that we would stay at the villa and have another bbq, as yesterday was a special day with Rebecca swimming with the dolphins; so we ate out most of that day. We looked after Rebecca, whilst mother and father went to the store to get more provisions. Rebecca had got a bigger appetite than normal, although she was never much of a really big eater anyway; it was just she ate more than she usually did these past few weeks. Her favourite of foods was always chicken or pasta and although she liked burgers, she was not a very big lover of them. I think a lot of that, was because of her eating healthy in the hospital; which she always made sure she had lots of fruit rather than the unhealthy burgers all the time. Greg was in his long Nike shorts, and was shirtless due to it being very hot and sunny; and much to the approval of a few of my sideward glances through a pair of new shaded sunglasses. Greg had started to develop early, as he had only just turned thirteen. He was tall for a thirteen year old, but still had that baby slim chest that was not defined yet. I really did fancy him, but kept quiet as I was also very shy and did not know what to do about it. Dad then came out in his shorts and sandals, and like Greg he was also topless; which mother often told him to cover up especially where flames were. Dad was just being dad and ignored her, as he got everything sorted and prepared on the BBQ. Mother had made sure the food was prepared indoors, with the chicken and ribs placed in the fridge; until dad and grandpa was ready for them. I had a pair of white shorts on, with a t-shirt, whilst April put her bathing costume on and sat next to me by the pool.

"Do you want a beer Mr Daniels?" Greg asked

"Sure son that would be nice." Both father and grandpa replied, which at first confused Greg.

Greg called over to us to see if we wanted a soft drink, before going into the kitchen to pour them. We saw him chatting to mother for a little while, then he brought out some fruit juice for the three of us. He then went back into the kitchen where he picked up a bottle of beer for dad and grandpa. He walked up to dad and without warning; he placed the bottle of beer onto fathers back. Well dad screamed just like a girl, as he turned round and told Greg he is in for it. Mother just laughed her head off, as we then saw dad chase Greg around the garden. Greg ran into the villa as dad followed, and then they were back in the garden. Finally dad caught hold of Greg as he slipped trying to take a corner too quickly, so dad grabbed him and then picked him up. Next thing we knew was dad ran towards us, and instead of dropping him by us he decided to throw him into the pool. It was hilarious, and at that moment whilst dad was still standing by the pool laughing at Greg; Rebecca got up and pushed dad into the pool. We could not stop laughing, as dad was surprised by Rebecca; and dad was now involved in a play fight with Greg in the pool. Dad and grandpa had a people carrier also included in the villa, so we did not have to just stay at the villa all day. As the villa was more in a suburb, rather than a resort; we got to know a few of the neighbours. There were only a few of the villa's that were either second homes or holiday lets; so the street was not brimming with people. We did get to know the family over the way from us, who also invited us to BBQs and just a good old get together. As we had a car, we also did get out a few times, sometimes all of us and sometimes we went out without our grandparents as they stayed and cleaned up whilst we went shopping. Our grandparents had made friends with an elderly couple a few houses down the street, and used to go to theirs just to get away from us rather loud and excited kids just for a bit of peace and quiet. Today however we were going to have a visit to Disneyland, and although it was an experience that should be at the top of your list; we were not that excited about it. We were still talking about the dolphins, and although we enjoyed Disneyworld, it was nothing as near the enjoyment we had with the dolphins. We had all been to pleasure parks before, as we often went to Thorpe Park, and yes here it was much bigger, but we never really went on many of the rides because of Rebecca not really wanting to. We were never really white knuckle ride people anyway, as we were strange and just like rides that were exciting but not too dangerous. I do remember Greg, April and me going on the log flume with father and we got completely soaked. Rebecca stayed on some of the baby rides as we called it, and that was enough for her. We preferred more to travel and see places that not many British holiday makers frequented, so went off the beaten track sometimes. It was not because of snobbery, I think we just knew that some holiday makers were just too loud and gave the wrong impressions. We knew this from when we went to Spain, and it was full of British people behaving badly; as they were drunk and swearing as well as some of the holiday makers behaving inappropriately.

Rebecca enjoyed Ocala National Forest, as well as her day out to Cape Canaveral and sitting on Cocoa Beach. Her favourite days though were just hanging out at the villa, where she met new friends, and had a great time in the pool with them. These friends she made often spent time with us, as their parents asked if my parents would look after them whilst they went shopping; as well as us going around theirs to play just to give our parents a break from us for a little while. Mother still treated Rebecca with kid gloves, and although she too liked to enjoy coming around to the neighbour's houses, mother also kept her at the villa just in case.

It was a sad time when we had to leave, as we said goodbye to the villa, and went around to everyone's home to say goodbye to them. Rebecca had made a lot of friends, and they said that they would write to her and let her know how things are going. As well as telling her that she should come back again, because one of our friends had a big house and we were told we could stay with them.

So it was goodbye Florida, as we got in the private car to take us to the airport; as we waved to everyone and saw them disappear in the distance. Another long flight back, and we were then back at Gatwick Airport, and a few more hours and we were home. I have to admit that it did feel good though to be back home, although I know we would have liked to have stayed just a little bit longer in Florida as the time just flew by. Father had to go back to work, and mother had to get back into a routine, instead of being a lady of leisure drinking cocktails by the pool with grandma.


	13. A Date With Richard & Judy

A Date With Richard & Judy

It was when we got home from Florida, and mother had sorted out all the mail; that she told us we had an invitation to appear on This Morning; with Richard and Judy. Rebecca could not understand why there was yet another television interview, and father just said that it was most likely that she was becoming a celebrity now, with her dedication and hard work for the hospital. This made Rebecca giggle, as she asked mother when it would be, to which mother replied it was going to be the ending of June; and Rebecca then saying that she would need a new dress. So again we got back into family life, as we then concentrated on school before Rebecca had her television appearance in eight weeks-time. Mother had to confirm they would attend, so that they could get the car booked to come and pick us up. As we were local there was no need to book us into a hotel, so it was much easier for them to send a car to us than pay out for expensive hotels. The weeks ahead, Rebecca could not think of what to wear, as she kept going through her wardrobe and picking something; only for her to put it back and find something else. Eventually mother told her that she would take her into town and buy her a new dress as promised, much to Rebecca's joy.

It was now June of 1989 when we arrived at the television studios for Rebecca's interview on Britain's favourite TV show This Morning with Richard and Judy. This was quiet a stressful time not knowing what would be asked, but also one which was still very exciting for Rebecca. We had to get up very early that morning, as we had a car coming to collect us from the house at around 6am to take us to the studio. We were then driven straight through security, as we made our way the underground car park, and then escorted into the studios. Rebecca was in her element taking everything in as soon as we were picked up, to arriving at the studios. We were greeted by one of the production team, who then escorted us to the green room. She informed us on the day's schedule, and where we would have to go; then she told Rebecca that we would have to go to the make-up department to get prepared. Rebecca was in her glory, as she was being pampered by all the staff. She also made a few of the staff laugh with her as she told some of her stories from the hospital and her charity work. We then waited in the wings as Judy announced who would be on the show that morning, plus the fact that she had a special guest also appearing on the show. She went into a bit of the background to what Rebecca had done in her young life, despite herself suffering from her illness. Then we heard Judy announce us and one of the lady crew escorted us to the stage, where we walked on to a massive applause. They both began chatting to us, as we filled them in with all that had been going on; telling them of all the work that Rebecca had achieved, and letting them know that in such a short time of being involved in charity work; and that she had already raised just over £345,000 for Great Ormond Street, and other cancer charities. There was I thinking that there was something like £150.56 which was not accounted for, and just like cheeky Rebecca, she stopped Judy as she told them not to forget the £150.56 Rebecca went on to say that it was important to make children's wishes come true, and that she was happy that she could be a part of helping with those wishes. Then Judy sat up and said.

"And if you had one wish Rebecca, what would you wish for?"

"If I had one wish I would wish that my mommy and daddy and Amanda do not cry anymore. I have a lovely life and I am thankful I have a loving family because not many children do because they are often on their own in the hospital." Rebecca said

The audience fell silent, as it brought a tear to a few who were listening to her story.

"My mother is like an angel with what she does for me, and my father works very hard to keep my sister and me safe, and my sister is my very best friend." She said, holding onto Mr Pipkins

"What about a wish for you?" Richard asked

"I do not need anything, because I have everything a little girl could dream of, and I have already had a wish as I have been to America." Rebecca replied

"I heard you had a special wish, a wish that you wanted to meet someone." Judy asked, as she tapped Rebecca on the hand

"Yes I would like to meet Princess Diana, but I know she is a very busy Princess and could not meet me because of all her duties." Rebecca said

"Well maybe Princess Diana is watching this show, and she may have heard what you have said. You are a very special young lady, and well behaved we are told?" Judy said in a playful voice

"I was very naughty once, so I am not always well behaved." Rebecca replied, all ladylike

"Oh and why was that?" Richard asked Rebecca

"I wanted to go out and play in the garden with April and Amanda, but I was not allowed to because I had just had chemotherapy. I saw her enjoying herself, which made me cry; so I got her best doll and threw it into the rubbish bin. When I went back to get it I was too late as the bin men had collected our rubbish." Rebecca explained

"So having treatment made you very sick, but I hear it never really made you poorly for too long as you were able to get over it very quickly and still play tricks on the nurses." Asked Richard

"Yes it made me sick for a few days, where I could not really get out of bed and my hair started to fall out; but it did not worry me as I got to wear lots of wigs and play dress up. I never let much get to me, because I always thought about going into the garden to sit under my tree" Rebecca replied

"We also hear that you have a favourite female singer that you listen to all of the time." Judy asked

"Yes I like Kylie Minogue, and I have some of her tapes and some pictures on my wall." Rebecca said

"If you look towards that monitor, we have a message for you from Kylie." Judy said, pointing to the monitor

We all looked towards the screen, and Kylie appeared. She told Rebecca how proud she was of her, and that she was sorry that she could not be with her but she was very busy rehearsing for her forthcoming tour. Kylie also told Rebecca that she had a backstage pass for her and her family to go and see her and the other groups on The Hitman Roadshow at the Hammersmith Palais in London on October 15th 1989. Then one of the assistants came out and gave her a signed collection of her albums and some Kylie goodies. Rebecca was very excited as she began saying thank you to Kylie and the member of the crew who brought out the goodies.

"And what about a boyfriend Rebecca, do you have a boyfriend?" Richard asked

"Don't be silly, I am eight years old. I am too busy with all my charity work, and don't have time for boys; besides mommy would not approve." Rebecca said rather seriously

Richard and Judy began to have a laugh with Rebecca, and just as they were going to say something Rebecca looked at them and said.

"I did have a best friend who was a boy, but he is no longer with us now."

"Oh and why is that Rebecca?" Judy asked

"He was a very poorly young boy who had the bed opposite me in the hospital, but he has sadly passed away and has now gone to heaven, and is now an angel." She replied

The place fell silent again, and we could see that it got to Richard and Judy, as well as the camera men; and it was then that Richard composed himself, and as he wiped a tear from his eye he looked at Rebecca and said.

"Finally what would you say to other children in your situation?"

"I would say that you should never give up hope, and you should believe in yourself; because dreams can come true. And you should not let your illness stop you doing what you really want to do. And please remember to take your medicines from the nurses, even if you don't like them, as they are there to make you feel better." She replied.

We were so very proud of Rebecca, as with all of the interviews she had had in the past; she was now had the ability to answer all of the questions given to her with the dexterity of a celebrity, but still with the mind-set of a child. Although the interview was mainly for Rebecca, Richard and Judy also acknowledged me, for the hard work I had also done by helping mother with Rebecca when she was poorly. They both asked me questions about what it was like living with Rebecca, and she asked me what it was like growing up within the shadow of Leukemia. I told them that at times it was very hard, as I did not like to see my sister feel unwell; but that she was also an inspiration to me as she taught me never to give up. I also told that as we were both so young when Rebecca was diagnosed, that we both adapted to her illness as a part of growing up; and that it was not uncommon to spend days or even weeks away from each other whilst she recovered and was treated in hospital. How I became her protector at school, and how each day was like any another day; which taught me something more about the wonderful qualities that my sister possessed. I finally told them that her illness had no effect on the fact that she was still my sister, and we still were able to have a childhood and to do girly things together. That we still got into mischief, and we still played tricks on each other; and we still had a lot of fun and frolics as little girls. It was then that I had been given an envelope with a high street voucher for the sum of one hundred pounds; which I thought was a really nice thing to do. It also came in handy as I was growing up fast and needed a new wardrobe of clothes.

Richard and Judy then asked the audience to give us a round of applause, as they then said it was time for a break and they would be back shortly. Just then the camera's stood still as we were led off stage, but not before Richard and Judy gave Rebecca and me a hug; before we were escorted back to the green room.


	14. A Princess Appears

A Princess Appears

It was whilst Rebecca had one of her three day stop overs at hospital, that one of her biggest dreams were to come true. Mother and father had been informed well in advance to whether Rebecca would be at hospital on the said date set out in her admission letter, and according to mother a representative from The Palace was often in contact with them as well as the hospital doctors. This one day that Rebecca was in hospital, there was a lot of commotion within the wards, as the nurse's started becoming very excited. Rebecca and I could not understand what was going on, as at times they just seemed to be a little bit too crazy as they ran around the ward like chickens that had lost their heads; and then to give Rebecca and me strange looks as they themselves became girly and secretive. Then around 1pm one of the doctors came to Rebecca's bedside, and with her favourite nurse they told her that they had a surprise for her.

"What is it Rosie?" She asked

"We cannot tell you that, otherwise it would not be a surprise Rebecca." She said.

"Is that why you have all been acting funny in the ward, because you have been keeping something from me?" She asked

"It is indeed Rebecca, and once or twice we nearly let the secret spill from our lips." Rosie replied.

"It may have helped if you did, because I did not know what was going on. You have all acted very strangely today, and something that is not so you Nurse Rosie." Rebecca said as she waved her finger about.

"We are all very sorry about that Rebecca, but this is one surprise that has had all of us nurses and doctors in quite a quandary." She told Rebecca

Well Rebecca could not believe what was happening next, as the corridors became full of nurses as they applauded her; and one nurse placed a small diamante tiara on her head.

"Now you are a Great Ormond Street's Princess." Nurse Rosie said.

"What's going on mommy, where are all these nurses coming from?" She asked

"You will soon find out sweetheart." Mother replied.

It was very scary, but also very exciting; as there were security men by the lifts, as well as with us as they followed us throughout the hospital. We eventually got to the third floor, where again security was very high with security officers and police lining the hallway as they cleared the way for us. It was one of the training suites that we were escorted into, and once we entered there were lots of doors around the room. On each door was a security guard and we thought that the room looked like a hotel room with the nice curtains and sofa's; which made it feel less like a hospital. Mother, father and I sat on a couch away from the main couch in which Rebecca sat. There was a lady in the function room, who came over and addressed herself to us; then she told Rebecca, that there was a very important person waiting to meet her; and that she had to be polite and courteous in every manner. Once we were briefed, the lady left the room and we were just sitting there in silence and wonder as we soaked in the splendour of our surroundings. It was not long when we began to hear a lot of bustling commotion in the hallway, and just as Rebecca became a bit fidgety; the commotion fell silent. All of a sudden two big doors opened, and we both had the shock of our life; as the security guards walked in followed by a small entourage of staff; who made a line from the doors to where Rebecca sat. It was then she noticed who it was, as her face lit up like a firework in a clear night sky.

"Mommy is Princess Diana; mommy look." She said now very excited.

HRH Princess Diana walked into the room, and she glowed just like an angel. She looked so much nicer than the pictures that were shown of her on the television, and more radiant than we could have ever imagined. Just then Rebecca stood up and curtsied, which made the doctors and nurses smile. Thing is no one told her to do that, she just got up herself and done it. The Princess then knelt down, as Rebecca put her arms around her; and then the Princess picked her up and sat her on the couch next to her.

"I am not a real princess like you your Royal Highness, and I do not live in a big palace; but I do live in a big house in London with mommy and daddy and my big sister Amanda." She told the Princess

"It is not always fun being a Princess Rebecca; as one has a lot of duties to perform. One has a lot of places to go where we meet lots of different people, and give them hope and sometimes just a friendly shoulder and words of encouragement." Princess Diana told her

"I have met lots of people too, as I have just finished a long walk around London and I am soon going to be doing a much bigger walk." Rebecca replied

"We at the palace have heard all about this Rebecca, and one has to say that we are all so very proud of you. You have indeed performed your duties just like that of a princess, and for that; today you can call yourself a real princess because you have captured the hearts of the nation, and that of the Royal Family." Princess Diana said.

"You are my hero Princess Diana, and I wanted to be so much like you by helping people who are poorly." She said.

They continued speaking for a while longer, as mother father and I sat towards the end of the room; as this was Rebecca's day and we did not want to take anything away from her. We knew from the very first time she offered help towards her hospital friends, that she was a very special young lady; but we never ever had grasped the idea of just how special she would have become to the rest of the UK. After a lengthy talk, it was time for Princess Diana to leave, as she had other pressing engagements to attend to. She came over to my parents and me and thanked us for allowing her to meet Rebecca, and then she said her goodbyes as she was going to make a few more stops in the hospital to visit the children. Princess Diana again sat down by Rebecca, where she once again hugged her, and then Rebecca made her way over to us. She then realized that she had left her tiara next to Princess Diana, so she runs back to her and throws her arms around Princess Diana's neck; where we then heard Rebecca say.

"God bless you Princess Diana, I love you very much."

We then left the function suite, as we made our way back to the ward; where Rebecca could not believe that she had just met The Princess of Wales. Again this gave Rebecca something else to talk about on the ward, as well as hearing about the other children meeting her too. After a few more days, Rebecca was released from hospital, and again came home for rest and recuperation; so that she could get strong again for her forthcoming event. As she was still a little poorly to go to school, as usual mother had the help of home tuition, as she had a special teacher come and see her, where she gave Rebecca the work that she had missed, so she could catch up. Rebecca was very bright, and it did not take her long before she caught up on this work, and because she had one to one tuition; we felt that this was really the much needed help that was beneficial to her schooling. Unlike me Rebecca did not have a full day of classes, as the tutor had to work around Rebecca and how tired she was or would become. Sometimes I think Rebecca only managed about four hours before becoming tired, and then falling asleep with exhaustion; where other days she could manage a full six hours. When she was strong enough to go back to school, she was not that far behind, and whilst in the classroom; she soon got back up to speed.


	15. Walk For Hope UK

Walk For Hope UK

Rebecca had an appointment with her chosen charity with regards her biggest venture to date and they all came up with a manifesto for her next campaign which was a walk for hope. Her charity walk from Scotland to London would be televised, and the television company booked them in hotels along the way. We were not that concerned as this was not a six week holiday away from home. We would travel up on a Friday with the director of the charity, and there we would go to our hotel and wait for the meeting in the late afternoon; early evening; then we would then return on the Sunday afternoon, to get us back into London before midnight. I did not go on every one of her walks, but out of the twelve, I did manage nine of them. It was not because I did not want to go, at the time I had caught the flu, and was not well enough to go; so stayed at home where father looked after me. The directors of the company, and the television station managed to get her sponsored walk down to twelve cities along the way; where she would be walking two miles within the city centre's boundaries. It was scheduled to take around six weeks, so as not to strain or tire Rebecca out, and there was a catchment put into place where she could stop the walk if it got too much for her, or if she became poorly. Knowing Rebecca though, we all knew she was a fighter and that she would not give up, as she looked upon this as failure. The schedule walk was going to be in the cities of Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Newcastle, Leeds, Liverpool, Manchester, Nottingham, Birmingham, Northampton, Luton, Wembley and finally London. And we could see from Rebecca that she was raring to go. The weeks before this campaign, she was at the hospital and doctors every few days to make sure that her strength was up to scratch, and to make sure there were no complications within how she felt. She attended physio, just so that she could lightly exercise to give her a much better chance of not falling tired, or have her legs fall from underneath her. The hospital pulled out every stop they could, to maintain that Rebecca's health was second to none to help her with this venture.

The day before we were scheduled to go to Scotland, she visited her friends and nurses on the ward, where she spent a good few hours in a party mood; as the nurses had prepared a few cookies and fizzy drinks for her to enjoy with her friends. This was a gesture from the organisers, who wanted her friends who could not attend; also celebrate in Rebecca's forthcoming walk, as they thought that the cheers of her hospital friends would help her in her quest.

 _ **ABERDEEN**_

We arrived at Woolmanhill Hospital, where those taking part had already congregated. The television cameras were surrounding the manmade stage where the director of the charity made his announcement.

"Today is a very special day, as this is the first day of twelve events that we will walk for hope for those children who suffer with cancer. This was brought to my attention by a very special young lady, whose name is Rebecca Daniels. Rebecca was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia at the age of 2 and after starting her treatment, she soon developed a will to help others who have to deal with this illness on a day to day basis. Rebecca has now been in remission for a good few years and it was her idea to stage a UK walk for life. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce to you to Rebecca Daniels." He said, as he then shook her hand and lowered the microphone to her level

"Hello everyone and thank you for helping me make this day a special one. It is so nice that you have given your time to help the children of Britain realise that anything is possible, and with the support of others, we can all fight this illness and never give up. Enjoy your walk for hope." She said as she address the now rather large crowd of spectators and walkers

"Thank you Rebecca. Now ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to the man who made all of this possible. Please kindly welcome on stage The Lord Provost of Aberdeen. Mr James Wyness." He announced

"I would like to thank all those who have dedicated today to such a wonderful cause, and allowed a dream from a very special person come true. We have to applaud those who think of others before themselves, to help in a fight to make a person's life better, when one has also suffered from the same illness that they are now fighting for. I would like to take this opportunity on behalf of myself and of the people of Aberdeen to wish you a successful event." He said as he then handed the microphone back to the charity director

"Ladies and gentle please show your support for The Lord Provost of Aberdeen. You will see on your pamphlets the route of your journey. We will be starting here at Woolmanhill Hospital and walk into Spa Street, then onto Raeburn Place and into Gilcomston Park. There we will turn right into Rosemount Viaduct, turning into Leadside Road; and then at the crossroads we will turn left into Esslemont Avenue. Once in the Avenue, we will then turn left into Skene Street on our final home run back into Spa Street and back here to the hospital to the finishing line. There will be water along the way for those who are thirsty, and along the roadside will be Marshalls and Sheriffs showing directions so you do not get lost. So without waiting any longer, I will ask Rebecca to kindly blow the whistle to start round 1 of her walk." He told the crowd, as Rebecca took hold of the whistle and gave it an almighty blow.

We both walked those two long miles together, with the charity walking behind her. Just before the finishing line I told her to take over and walk for glory for what she truly deserved. We had completed one of twelve walks, and Rebecca could not wait till tomorrow to start again. Rebecca gave her first of twelve interviews with the nurses and charity organisers, before saying her goodbyes as well as remembering to follow and join in tomorrow to those who were with her for the duration. We stayed around the city for about an hour as we shook the hands of all the officials, before having a bit of fun on the fun fair, as we also watched some of the Highland dancers perform. Then it was back to the hotel where we chilled out for a few hours and got some much needed rest.

Mother had made a pot of tea, whilst Rebecca and I had fruit juice as we watched a little bit of television. We were very honoured and humble to what hotel we stayed in, as where we stayed, we were not in a bedroom, but a suite; and Rebecca thought herself very posh as she thought it was a two bedroomed flat. Once we had chilled out, the phone rang, and it was the charity director who announced that dinner was going to be served around 7pm. Mother wore a beautiful cocktail dress with sequins and beads on it, and I think she said she got it from Marks & Spencer's; along with Rebecca pastel pink and cream lace party dress. My dress, which was a cream dress with a fleck of yellow in the pattern; came from the catalogue, as I did not like the dresses in Marks & Spencer's because they were either too old for me or too young for me. Both Rebecca and I had little bags that matched, whilst mother had a bag that had sequins and beads over it to match her dress. I looked at mother, and had never seen her looking as beautiful as she did standing there; in a nice evening dress that made her look even more ladylike than the usual suit she wore. It was then that I just thought that if father was here now, he would have seen just how beautiful mother looked; but he had to stay at home as we were having new windows fitted. The dinner was not one that was a formality with camera's etc. It was more just a get together to eat with the organisers, as well as those who were staying at our hotel who had also participated in the walk. We did not always have big meals like this after every walk that Rebecca and I took part in, as sometimes mother and Nurse Rosie would take us into town where we would eat out in some of the nice restaurants; if we did not have room service.

 _ **BIRMINGHAM**_

Rebecca had now completed seven out of the twelve sponsored walks, and had done so well. We were now on the train to Birmingham, and we had since got used to travelling first class, with Rebecca saying how nice and quiet it was in the carriages. As we were also on the Virgin train, it brought us memories of out Florida holiday, in which Rebecca soon let the stewards of first class know. They even sat down a few times just to listen to some of her stories, before asking mother if she would like anything else to either eat or drink. Mother and father that day certainly had drunk a lot of tea, and Rebecca and I had lots of juice as well as fancy sandwiches, so we were now quite full. We finally arrived at Birmingham New Street station, and we were booked in at The Holiday Inn, which was right next door to the television studios. We did wonder if we were going to have to go and see the presenters, but today it was just to do the walk, have an interview at the end of the walk with the presenters who bared the weather; and then back to the hotel before going back to London. As we got outside the station, we all got into a taxi, who took us right to the hotel. Again we got settled before there was a knock on our door; which again was a suite; and it was the organisers who gave us the route in which we would take. This was not as long as the other walks, as we only had a certain amount of roads that were closed. It was a Sunday, and there was not much traffic around anyway; so not a lot of roads needed to close for us. As this was a shorter walk, it was not going to take as long as the other walks we had done; and we were told that we will be starting in Victoria Square, by the statue Of Queen Victoria. We would then proceed into Chamberlain Square, towards the library, and around the back of the museum and art gallery. Then onto Margaret Street, and to the back of the Council House at Eden Place; where we would then be directed into Colmore Row and into Waterloo Street. The final leg of the walk would be going into Bennetts Hill and new Street, as we then made our way up the hill back to Victoria Square and Queen Victoria statue. As most of this was pathways, we only had a few marshals along the way; as it did not quite disrupt too much traffic. The buses were stopped for only two hours, before they would then get back to their normal routine. Our walk would be twice along the route, and that would be the conclusion of the Birmingham walk. The City Council had put stalls along Victoria Square and Chamberlain Square, with a small funfair too; and there were a lot of nurses who walked around with their buckets, collecting any donation that people would put inside. Like all the other walks, the Mayor of Birmingham gave his speech, just as Rebecca and the organisers also said a few words to the ever growing crowd. And so we were on our way. Halfway through the last lap of the walk Rebecca got tired and so I picked her up and gave her my shoulder to lean on as we walked towards the finish line. The last 100 yards I stopped and looked at her where I then released my arm from her and then said.

"Go for it Becca, you can do it."

She started to walk on her own again and shortly afterwards she fell down; and as someone tried to pick her up, she looked at them and yelled.

"No please leave me; I just need to get my breath."

Rebecca then stood up to the roars of the crowds and to the enormous applause, as they began to chant 'Becca.' Mother was at the finishing line waiting for her as she began calling her name; but she was too far away for us to hear her. Rebecca then walked a few more yards, as again she fell down and looked at me.

"I don't feel very well Manda." She said, as she put her hand to her mouth, as though she was going to be sick.

"What's wrong Becca?" I asked, now with my arm over her shoulders

"I feel as if I am going to be sick." She replied, as she tried to gain composure.

I knelt further down to her and I then put my hand over her forehead, where I noticed she did have a slight temperature.

"You can stop if you would like to as you have done so much Becca." I told her, as I just held her there in my arms

"No Manda, this is for Timmy and for my friends at the hospital; I cannot give up on them." She said, now slowly getting up much to the relief of the crowds and our parents; as the crowds applauded her for her determination

"Ok Becca, just take your time." I said as I kissed her on the head and looked to mother, where I raised my thumb letting her know it was ok.

I then saw mother look anxious as I saw father hug her as he began to comfort her as he held her back.

"Look Becca you are almost there, can you see the steps by the statue of that lady?" I told her, with a big smile on my face

"It is Queen Victoria Manda. Birmingham has Queen Victoria; that is why it's called Victoria square." She said, with a cheeky grin on her face

"So it is Becca, you are very clever. Come on Becca you are almost there, you can do it sweetheart." I told her, encouraging her to now finish her walk

"For Timmy; Manda." She said, as she held my hand

"For Timmy; Becca." I replied.

Mother then got on her knees where she held her arms out, and with a sudden burst of energy Becca stood up and ran towards the finishing line and into the arms of mother; as father was waiting there for me with open arms, as I ran towards him still holding Rosie's hand. The cameras were flashing continuously with rapturous applause from the crowd, as they jeered and shouted her name. And just like Becca, she waited by the finish line for everyone else to finish who were behind her. We thought although this was the shortest walk, we may have bitten off more than we could chew; as it seemed to be taking its toll on Rebecca. We also thought that this was far too big an adventure for Rebecca, and mother and father were talking about pulling out of the final walks just for a precaution. Rebecca heard this and told them no, as she was just a little tired. She pleaded with them to let her carry on, as she knew she could do it, and that it was just the travelling that was making her tired. Mother and father agreed, but again told her that if they thought it was too much; they were pulling the plug. As stubborn as Rebecca was, she looked at mother and father and told them only if she thought she could do not it, would she let them do what they had asked. She was just a little tired, and we thought that it may have been breakfast that had upset her tummy. Shortly after the walk, we all congregated in the square, before father telling Rosie, and the organisers that they were heading back to London. Nurse Rosie followed us as she journeyed back with us, as she kept an eye on Rebecca; and even Rosie thought that it may have been her breakfast, as she did not really have a temperature at that stage. Within an hour of being on the train, Rebecca had fallen asleep much to the delight of mother and father, as they knew she would be charging her batteries. The final walks that Rebecca had, we did not stay in hotels, as they were closer to London. Father would drive mother and Rebecca to the designated walk; and upon completion would bring them back home where Rebecca would go and lay down on the couch to recharge her batteries. Mother thought that the Birmingham incident with Rebecca may have truly been a cold, as a week later I was poorly with the flu. I was lucky enough to have Greg's mom come and look after me whilst father took Rebecca and mother to her walk, and they never thought twice again about the Birmingham incident; as Rebecca completed all of her walks but for this last one.

 _ **LONDON - HAGGERSTON PARK**_

And so it came that we were now on the last walk of Rebecca's mammoth undertaking. We never ever thought that we would get to this position, as Rebecca had worried us a few times along the way, but her determination outweighed her ability to quit; which showed us her strength and courage.

Today was the landmark of Rebecca's UK walk, and this last one was going to be in our home town of Haggerston. It had been a roller coaster journey, of ups and downs, and laughter and tears. Not everyone who started with us, continued through the eleven stages; but they made sure they were with us on the final walk. The park was full to the brim, with spectators and walkers all mingling in together; before the final walk. The charity director made her announcements, as there were three directors who took it in turn to announce Rebecca and her cause, as well as to make people aware of leukaemia and other cancers that we were walking for and fighting against. Again there were stalls and a fun fair, bouncy castles and a twist to the end of the walk; as we got to dunk a nurse which Rebecca thought would be fun. The director made her speech, as again Rebecca blew the whistle for the very last time. That day was a spectacular day, and it was the icing on the cake for the twelve walk challenge. Haggerston may not have been the biggest venue, but it was one that rocked the whole community; as everyone finished their walk, and they waited for Rebecca to come past the line; again with the crowd erupting as they cheered and applauded her. Her last twenty yards, she ran past the line right into fathers arms, where he picked her up and raised her arm in the air victoriously as he said.

"Well done Rebecca, you did it."

"It was very hard work daddy, but I am glad it is over with now." She replied

"Well done Rebecca." I said as I reached up to give her a kiss

"And well done to you as well Amanda, you have also made this walk very special." She replied as she reached down to give me another kiss.

When everyone had settled down, the formalities were put into place with again the director making a short speech; before she introduced the Mayor of Hackney to say a few words. Unknown to Rebecca, the charity directors had got together and they had a trophy made; showing the twelve stage walk of the UK cut into glass representing the United Kingdom. At each point of the trophy where the walks took place; there was a marker of the leukemia ribbon showing the cities covered. On the plinth of the trophy was another ribbon in orange with gold borders, with the word Hope engraved in the centre; and on the bottom was Rebecca's name. The mayor presented this to Rebecca, as he shook her hand; and as it was too big for her to carry, father had to hold it for her. We had never seen so many orange wrist bands and ribbons sold, as we did on that day. The whole park was a flood of orange, and it was then that it brought it home to us; that so many people had not only made Rebecca's dream come true, but they fully supported her in many ways. The stage was alight by the many cameras flashing to get a picture of their local hero, as camera men and presenters all gathered, just to hear what Rebecca had to say about her biggest challenge.

"I am so glad that it is over, because now I get a chance to go out and play with my sister before going back to school. I would like to thank Nurse Rosie and the people of my charity who made this happen. And I am pleased that you have all brought a wristband or a ribbon, because you have helped me help all my friends at the hospital." She said, as she cheekily took a bow.

One of the lady reporters then looked at her, as she leaned forward with her microphone and then said.

"Rebecca. Would you ever do this again?"

"Do you mean walk all over England?" She replied

"Yes would you ever walk the length of the United Kingdom again, now knowing what it is like?" She asked

"Yes I would, but not for a long time because my feet are killing me. None of us children like being poorly and having to spend time in hospital, so with everyone's help; you can help make us have better days and more days to stay at home. And please excuse me, but were you not the lady I saw before when I did one of my walks?" She asked

"Yes I am Rebecca, well spotted. I did not think you would recognise me." She told her

"Where is that man behind the camera, the one I saw before as well?" She asked

"Oh you mean James, he is here with me. Would you like to say hello to him?" She asked Rebecca as she held her hand out to her.

The cameraman placed his camera on a stand, and came to the front of it for I would have thought the first time in a long time. Together both reporter and cameraman were on camera, as Rebecca looked at them and held her hand out.

"You still owe me a pound for my walk today." She said as she giggled, whilst James got to his knees and gave her a hug as he laughed.

The crowd applauded Rebecca, as they saw the funny side of what she had said. On her way back to the stage, the mayor handed her some money to put into Rosie's bucket as did a few more people that were close by. All of a sudden Rebecca was asked to cut the ribbon of a very large handkerchief that was towering high above us next to the podium. When she cut the ribbon, she released hundreds of orange balloons into the afternoon sky; as she told everyone to enjoy the funfair.

We left the stage and had an hour on the park, whilst father held onto her trophy for dear life. Rebecca got to dunk a nurse in the water, and she was thankful it was not Rosie; and although she missed the target with the beanbag, the attendant still released the lever which sent the nurse falling into the water. Rebecca and I then decided to go on a few of the tiny rides, as she still did not like the bigger ones. The only one she liked was the Wurlitzers, and as it was a special day we had two rides; and father told the owners not to spin us around too much. It did not matter, because we all ended up crashing into each other. April landed against Ian, as Greg pressed up against him, with me pressing up against him; whilst Rebecca held on for dear life as she lay down by me still holding onto the handle. The guy who spins you around faster, managed to take a picture of us; as father had given him his camera, and also gave him strict instructions not too spin us around too fast. Not long after that, we all decided to go home, as mother thought that we all had had enough excitement for one day. I could have stayed out longer if I wanted too, but I thought it would be nice to get back and spend a little bit more time with Rebecca in the garden, before calling it a day; as well as getting back to April and Greg as we had both missed them on those past weekend walks. Rebecca then looked for Rosie, as we said our goodbyes and walked back home.


	16. Times Of Celebrations

Times Of Celebrations

It was Saturday morning, and it was a beautiful sunny day. Rebecca had stayed in bed a little longer than usual, when mother asked me what I was going to do today. I told her that April and Greg had planned to go into the city, and I wondered if I could go with them.

"What are you going into the city for?" Mother asked

"Greg asked me if I wanted to go to The London Dungeon mother, as we were always visiting the museums and Madam Tussauds that we wanted to try something different. Why?" I asked

"Nothing really, just Barbara has invited us to go to Hampton Park; as she has little Sarah Jane with her; and we wondered if you would like to come with us." She replied, as she made a cup of tea

"I would have liked to, but really would like to go into the city if that's ok?" I again asked.

Just then Rebecca had got up, when she heard me mention the dungeon; and asked if she could come along with us. Mother then said that Sarah Jane was next door, and that they were invited to go to Hampton Park. Rebecca did not mind going to Hampton Park as she would be with Sarah, but she did ask me when she would be able to go into the city with me again. I promised her that next weekend we would go to Bethnal Green and do some girly shopping, which got her quite excited; as it had been a while since it was just the two of us.

"Then we will go to Pizza Hut if you like, or go to the Chicken Hut." I told her

"Pizza Hut sounds nice, because there you can choose lots of things; and keep going up to fill up your cola cup Manda." She said very excitedly.

"Ok well you have a lovely day with mother and Sarah, and I will see you later today." I replied

"See Rebecca, we are no longer wanted by your big sister." Father said.

"Do not be silly daddy; Manda is having some grown up time." She said as she scolded him

Father just laughed as he pulled a face, only for Rebecca to go running to him. He then told me to be careful, even though I was with Greg and April as he thought London was becoming a playground for undesirables. So once I had breakfast, I gave them all a kiss and started to leave the house; when father came over and asked if I had enough money.

"Yes dad, I have taken some money out of my money box." I told him

"If you are going to the dungeon, and then knowing you; you will end up in either Pizza Express or Dominos. So how much money have you got Amanda?" He asked

"I have taken twenty pounds out of my money box, I am sure that will be enough dad!" I replied as I showed him the four five pound notes.

"Just in case Amanda, here take this." He said as he offered me another twenty five.

"Dad, are you sure?" I asked

"I have not treated you in a long time, so take it; and do not worry Rebecca will get the same today when we are out." He told me as he gave me a hug.

Mother then told me to have a nice time, and that they would be home around four or five that evening, so I had best take the spare key just to be safe. I took the key from mother, and then made my way over to April and Greg's. We then got the bus into the city, as we then made our way to the London Dungeon. We did not have much of a wait, as I think we just caught it in time before the mad rush. The city had begun to fill up with students on a weekend break, as we saw the little clicks that they were in; with the Chinese tourists at one side of the street all congregated together, followed by the Germans and French. So yes we had just made it before the rush to get to the door. It was quite a nice day, as Ian had arranged to meet us there, so April did not feel like a spare part; and apart from that Greg and I knew that she still very much had a thing for him; where we would often tease her. The whole tour was very frightening, but also enjoyable. I think the scariest moment, was when we were sitting in the boat. It seemed like ages sitting there in complete darkness, as Greg and Ian kept scaring April and me. The actors and actresses were amazing as they got into character, as they made the whole even believable. The music that they played was also very scary, but without it I don't think it would have had the same sombre atmosphere. The boat show, or better known as Henry Wraths boat ride; I think was the best show however. April and me screamed throughout the experience, as Greg and Ian continued to scare us. I was so glad when it was over, but would certainly go back again; just not with the boys. We left the dungeon and then headed off into the city, as we decided to go and eat at Pizza Express before we made up our minds that we would go back home. It was one of the few days I had without Rebecca that I did get to enjoy. It did always seem strange though, as Rebecca was a big part of our lives; but having quality time with Greg and April, as well as Ian now took me away from the reality of Rebecca's past illness; as I got the chance to grow up and do the things that all of us teenagers do. Mother often said that I did need some time to myself, and even though I did not mind staying at home to look after Rebecca, those few days I would have with just Greg and April, were what I needed to keep my head high above the enduring days of the panic and calm that seemed to sweep within our household. As I had promised, the following weekend it was spent with Rebecca. We were going to meet Greg in Bethnal Green, once he had finished football and got changed. April had come around the house at about 11am, where we then got ready to catch the bus. We first of all went around a few of the clothes shops, as like me Rebecca loved clothes shopping; even if we were not buying anything. Then when we had got a little fed up of that, we made our way to the pizza hut. As it was a nice day, we first of all sat outside with a cold drink; until we could see Greg. We had not heard from him since he had gone to play football, and I was getting a little concerned. Next thing I knew Rebecca's phone started to bleep continuously.

"Who is that texting you Rebecca?" I asked

She had a look at her phone, and to her surprise she told me that it was Greg.

"Greg! What's he doing texting you?" I asked very surprised.

"I don't know, he just asked me where we were." She replied.

"Oh right, are you his secret girlfriend then Rebecca?" I asked her jokingly

"Don't be silly Manda, I know you love him and I would not do that to you; besides I am too young for boys." She replied as she put her hands on her hips as she told me off.

"I wonder why he did not text me. Hold on I better check my phone just in case." I told her

I went into my bag to check my phone, and when I picked it up I realized that it was not switched on.

"Duh, it was not switched on Rebecca." I said as we began to laugh

"She is too lovesick Rebecca." April said

"No I am not; I just forgot to switch my phone on. You're lovesick April; as I see you looking at Ian all the time. I don't know why you just don't ask him out." I replied.

"I am not lovesick you cheeky thing. We are just friends Amanda, like you and Greg. It is you who looks at Greg funny." She said as she began whispering in Rebecca's ear.

Just then Rebecca noticed Greg and Ian by the record store over the road. Without warning she got up and just ran to the crossing. April and I shouted at her to come back, as we ourselves got up as we did not know what on earth she was thinking. Luckily Rebecca did have a bit of road sense, and did not run over the road to him. When Greg got to us she just run in his arms, as I got her hand and then once we were back on the pavement; I knelt down to her and looked her in the face where I said.

"Rebecca, you cannot just get up and run over the road. It is very dangerous and you could get hurt, besides you could have knocked one of the elderly people over sweetheart."

"I am sorry Manda; I just saw Greg and wanted to greet him. I was not going to run over the road." She explained.

"I know you like Greg Becca, but please promise me that you will not do that again? You frightened me and April, as we wondered what the hell was going on sweetheart." I replied as I gave her a hug.

"I am sorry Manda, I am sorry April." She said as she began to cry

"Come on Becca, dry your tears, we did not mean to make you cry. It is just the roads are very busy and you never know what is around the corner." April told her.

I then wiped her eyes dry, as Greg picked her up and we made our way back to the pizza hut. Rebecca was ok after a while, and we decided not to tell mother because we knew she would have over reacted. That was the first time Rebecca had ever run off like that, and to this day we do not know why as she was always so careful. The rest of the day went as plan, with Rebecca enjoying her day out with us; as we laughed and joked with Greg and Ian doing their usual things in playing around and tickling her. Father had got to hear that Greg and April's fourteenth birthday was approaching, so he had words with mother about throwing them a party; as they had never had one. Mother and father asked me if I thought it was a good idea, and I told them that I thought they would simply love it as no one has ever done anything like this for them before; apart from their mother who would take them into the city. I also told them that to my knowledge they had never really had a proper birthday party, thought they were never forgotten when it came to cards and some presents. They also told me that I had to keep it a secret and not to even tell Rebecca, as with the excitement she could possibly let it slip. Their birthdays would be in around three weeks, so slowly mother got some things and put them away. Mother contacted their mother, and also asked if it was ok if they organised the party for them, which she thought was a great idea. The last week before the event, invitations were sent to some of our school friends, as well as a few of the neighbours; with strict instructions not to let Greg or April know what was going on. It was not until the morning of the party that Rebecca had twigged that there was something going on, where she asked mother what was all the fuss about. Mother told her that it was a surprise birthday party, and before she could finish Rebecca said.

"Whose birthday is it mommy?"

"It is a special birthday party for Greg and April." Mother replied

"Oh that is wonderful mommy, but you should have told me because now I have to look for a party dress." She said putting her hand on her head scratching it in thought.

"You have that lovely lilac party dress, that grandma brought you for Christmas." Mother said

"Oh, but I wore that all over Christmas; and they have both seen me in it mommy." She said as she frowned

"We will have a look later for you if you like, because I am sure there are lots of pretty dresses which you have not worn for a long time Rebecca." Mother said.

Whilst Rebecca was still in a quandary, father got the bbq ready, as he also laid out two of his collapsible tables he had for we had parties outside. There were plenty of chairs, as we had the patio one's as well as some others we kept in the garage for such events. Mother had placed paper table cloths onto the tables, as she then began to decorate the garden. Rebecca helped mother as she placed balloons around the garden; and under the tree where she loved to sit. Within the hour mother and father had finished completely decorating and preparing the back garden. We had a further two hours before anyone would be arriving, which gave mother time to prepare the food, as well as sort out a dress for Rebecca. For precaution sake, father made sure the back gate was closed until the time of the party, and he had made prior plans with their mother; not to let Greg or April come over until 1pm. By now all the guests had arrived, and we were just waiting for the birthday pair. Next thing we knew we were told to be silent, as father noticed Greg and April walking down the road with their mother; as he saw them through the garage window. He then walked out of the side door and then he unlocked the gate, and told everyone to hide where they could without being seen. Most of them stayed in the garage, as father had already left the car on the drive. The back gate then made the sound of someone flipping the lever, as they walked into the garden.

"What the!" We heard Greg say.

""Come on Greg, April I am sure there is an explanation for this." Their mother said, as she saw us through the corner of her eye, as Greg and April had noticed the balloons.

Then we all ran out of the garage shouting Happy Birthday, as it made them both jump. Just the look on their faces was a picture, a picture of shock and excitement; as April began to cry on Greg's shoulder. The impact of this party was one we would never forget, as they could not believe what we had all done for them. It was like all their birthday's and Christmas' in one, as they cried and jumped up for joy at the same time. Everyone was gathering around them, as they wished them happy birthday, as they all seemed to be just as excited as Greg and April. Mother and Helen had then placed all the cards and presents on a smaller table out of the way of the bbq and main table. It was the small patio table; that grandpa had brought them a long time ago, which was usually in a little alcove where mother and father would sit together on a summer's evening. Greg and April could not believe how they had managed to get all their friends there, as they did not know they knew where they lived. But my parents did manage, as we asked Ian; who in turn gave us the names of the boys Greg was friends with as I told mom the ones April were friends with. I was not her only friend as she did have others in school, it was just I was her main friend as the others she kept at arm's length. Father fired up the bbq, as I brought my stereo into the garden and placed all the cd's on the kitchen window sill. Our next door neighbour also came round, as we told them there may be a little bit of noise. She was an older lady, but was not one of the fuddy duddy ladies that were in the street. As her son and grand-daughter were with them, they too were invited. Father made sure that we did not have the music on too high, but high enough where we could sing and dance if we wanted. Rebecca had finally picked out her lovely white party dress, with a pastel lemon bow, and some white and lemon shoes; and she looked gorgeous. I kept it to a casual note, as I had jeans and a blouse. Barbara stayed by mothers side, along with Helen who kept an eye on us all; as they say on the posh patio table with wine and beer for father and Barbara's son. Greg and April were seated together, as I was at the side of Greg, and Ian sat by April. Rebecca had made herself a new friend with Barbara's grand-daughter, as they sat under the magnolia tree. Once everyone had sat down, mother and father could not believe the amount of children in their garden, as there must have been at least twenty, and apart from the rowdiness there was not that much trouble at all. The ladies placed the cold drinks on the table, as well as some of the cold food; along with the paper plates and plastic cutlery, whilst father and Barbara's son cooked and served from the bbq. When everyone had been given a helping of chicken and ribs as well as burgers, there was a twenty minute break whilst they too could eat; as father threw a few more burgers and sausages on to cook. All the time mother and Barbara kept looking out for the little ones, making sure they were playing nicely, and eating sensibly. We had all had a fair amount of bbq and salad, even though there were sandwiches, crisps and party food; that it was time to start clearing a few things so it became a little tidier. Just as we had finished, father brought out the birthday cake, and everyone applauded as they saw the big sparkler on the top shooting its silver crackling lights up in the air. Greg and April sat down, just as father placed the cake on the table. Everyone gathered to see the spectacle of a very large cake topped with lots of cream. Father then lit a candle and placed it into the cake, where he then made a little speech.

"Greg and April, you have been as much a part of this family since Amanda started school with you. You have helped both my wife and I with regards Rebecca; and you have never given rise to complain. Both my wife and I class you as our own children, as I know that is how your mother feels about our girls. We wanted to give you something special, for all the help you have given to us; in the good times and the bad. Happy Birthday Greg and April." He said, as everyone wished them a happy birthday.

Rebecca then came over and walked in front of father, where she looked at them and said.

"Now you have to make a wish, but you have to keep it to yourself or it will not come true."

Greg looked at April, and began to reach towards the candle; where they attempted to blow it out. Just at that moment, father got his hands at the back of their heads and dunked them into the cake. We all laughed our heads off, as April screamed, and Greg managed to get a piece of the cake and throw it into fathers face. Greg and April were in total shock as we all laughed hysterically; Greg then got up and started to chase father around the garden, as we all laughed and screamed as we saw Greg holding a big piece of the cake as he tried to get his own back on father, whilst April was still in shock; with her mouth wide open as she used a tissue to wipe the cake from her face. For the first time mother did nothing, but stand with Helen as they too laughed with the shenanigans of father dunking their heads into the cake. April now slowly coming to grips with what had just happened, yet showing everyone that she was not mad; as she too laughed, after the initial shock had worn off. Once everyone had settled down, both Greg and April; then opened their cards and presents. They had gift vouchers and clothes, whilst mother and father gave them an envelope with money in, as they were unsure of what to get them as they were growing up fast. All the presents were left on the table, as Greg put all of the money together and handed it to their mother for safe keeping. We then continued to play and eat more until well into the early evening; where father said it was about time to start clearing up and calling it a day.

That was another day that we would never forget, as it stayed with us over the years. As they were both still excited, they asked if they could stay over with us that evening; I looked at mother to see if it was ok, where she looked at father. Their mother thought that they had had enough excitement for one day, as Greg still asked if they could stay this once; as they wanted to watch videos. Their mother did say that it was up to mother and father, who said that they did not mind, as tomorrow they can help clean the garden.

Their mother stayed a further hour or so sitting in the garden with mother, as Rebecca sat on her lap almost asleep with the events of the day. Then she kissed April and Greg goodnight, as she told them to be good as she had a few last words with mother and father before leaving. We ended the night, by watching a few videos; before Greg went into the spare room to go to sleep.


	17. Learning To Embrace Normality

Embracing Normality

It was now the summer of 1994, and I was sixteen and a half years old. I stayed on school and was going to go to university alongside April, to become a school teacher as we had both always dreamed of it. This day was going to be a special day in my life, for it was the day Gregory asked me to be his girlfriend. He turned up on Saturday morning around ten thirty, where as usual my father was outside working on the car; as it was his usual weekend checks with oil, tyre pressure and a few other manly things. Greg was always a gentleman, and although both my parents always told him to just walk in, he always knocked on the door first, and then poked his head around the door; where he went into his usual saying.

"Hiya it's only me, is anyone in?"

"Come on in Greg, how many times must I tell you; you daft thing?" Mother shouted

Mother always told him to come in and then she would keep reminding him that he does not have to knock. But I think they respected him more for what he did, as he was a very polite and respectful young man. He came over to me and gave me a hug, as he walked over to mother he gave her a peck on the cheek; as he asked if she was ok. After he had put the kettle on, he made a pot of tea and poured both mother and me a cup, and then he asked to be excused as he took two cups outside.

"I am just going to see if your dad wants any help Amanda. By the way, where is Becca?" He asked

"She is in the back garden Greg, with Mr Pipkins; underneath the magnolia." I said

"Ah yes the magnolia, the one that has yet to blossom." He replied

"Tell me about it Gregory, I have tried everything and still it does not flower. I wonder if I have put it in the right place, or I may have to try a fertiliser which I do not really like using because of Rebecca being poorly." Mother explained

"I am sure it is just the tree Mrs Daniels, they do not like to be disturbed, and can take a year or two to settle." Greg said

"A year or two Gregory? It has been nearly seven years since it flowered, so I do not know what I have done. Still it continues to grow, but never a bud. And when are you going to call me mom Greg, it is about time you did?" She told him

"Soon Mrs Daniels, when I feel it is right. I can't help being me." He replied.

"Please excuse me won't you, I just want to say hello to Becca." He said

He made a glass of her favourite orange juice, and made his way out to the back garden. Rebecca was so pleased to see him, and like a little madam, she always asked him to sit down next to her where she offered him an empty cup of tea from her tea set that she had had for many years. Shortly after being with her, and giving her a few comics he had brought, he told her that he would be back soon as he has a cuppa for her dad, and that he is going to lend a hand for a while. Rebecca always knew never to go out of the gate, when father was working on the car, as he thought it could be a dangerous place at times. So Greg left her in peace, as he went over to see father. It had been a fair thirty minutes before he came back indoors with dad; and together they had done all the checks, plus Greg had hoovered the inside of the car. Just as they came in, mother asked father and Greg if they wanted any lunch, to which Greg said.

"Do you think I could have your permission to take Amanda into town?"

"You do not need to ask Greg, she is old enough to make up her own mind." Father replied

Just then Rebecca came indoors and heard what Greg had said.

"Can I come into town with you as well?" She asked

"Well Becca, I was going to say stay here with your mom and dad, as I was going to surprise you; but may as well tell you now." He replied

"Oh tell me what?" Rebecca asked

"I was going to take Manda into town for a spot of lunch, as yours is already prepared; and then I was going to see if Manda wanted to go to the cinema tomorrow, and then buy four tickets to see Jurassic Park; as it is on at the Odeon." He said

"WOW, can I come to the cinema then with you tomorrow?" She asked, now very excited

"Yes if you want to, but first let's ask your mom and dad." He said

It did not need much persuasion, as Rebecca ran up to father and asked him pretty please. Mother and father agreed, especially as she would be with the three of us; and so Rebecca agreed to stay at home as she also said she needed to pick out a nice dress to go to a posh cinema.

Greg then looked at me and said.

"Shall we go into town then for lunch?"

"That will be great Greg, let me just grab my purse and jacket." I replied

Just then my father came over and I noticed he went to put twenty pound into Greg's hand.

"No Mr Daniels, this is on me and April. I do not want your money." He said.

My father tried to insist, but he had met his match with Greg as he too was as stubborn as he was; besides Greg did like to spoil his girls. I got my coat and purse, and we just managed to catch the bus. We were not too fussed as we have a brilliant bus service with three going by every ten minutes. Whilst we were on the bus, Greg was very chatty and he seemed a little excited. I put it down to the four of us going out again, as it had been a long time since we had done anything like this.

"So what do you fancy to eat Amanda?" He asked

"We could go for pizza if you like?" I replied

"Ok, so why don't we go to Domino's in Hackney, then we can go to the cinema and see what's playing tomorrow other than Jurassic Park?" He said

"Sure that will be brilliant. I think Jurassic Park is playing at the Hackney Picture House for a few more days, so we can go there, rather than go to the other cinema." I replied

So we made our way to Hackney, and when we arrived at Domino's we took a seat; as this one was a takeaway and eat in. Then out of the blue Greg just came out with it.

"So Amanda, we have been friends for how long now?"

"Blimey Greg, we have known each other from junior school, so a good twelve or thirteen years." I replied

"Is it really that long?" He asked

"I know it does not seem like it does it?" I replied

"Well I was thinking Amanda. Would you be my girlfriend and not just a friend anymore? Can I take you on a date?" He asked

"Well this is a date isn't it?" I told him

"I mean another one Amanda, just you and me. Maybe go into the city." He asked

"I would like that Greg, and yes I will be your girlfriend. It's about time; it's only taken you ten years." I replied as I laughed

"I was frightened you would say no, because we are such good friends." He replied

"I have been waiting for you to ask, since April, Becca and me sat on the playing fields watching you play football. I thought you looked hot then in your football kit." I said now going all girly

"Oh you think I look hot?" he replied

"Don't push it Greg, we were seven years old, I have grown up a bit now." I said, as I laughed very girly

"I have always fancied you too, but must admit was scared of your dad." He replied

"Why, you and dad get on so well." I told him

"We do now, but back then I was not sure how he would have felt us going steady; as we have always been just friends." He said.

"Dad will be fine, and mom will be. They both like you and April a lot; and I just know Becca is going to say 'told you so,' you know what she is like. She knew from that day at junior school." I told him

"She will not be jealous will she?" He asked

"Goodness no Greg; I mean she tormented me that day, and for it to come true she will be happy and I know she will certainly tease you." I replied

"Oh I see. Well Becca is quite the madam isn't she?" He said

"She is that and I would not have it any other way." I replied.

"Well to be honest with you Amanda, I went into the garage to see dad, as I wanted to ask his permission first, before I asked you outright." Greg said, as he pulled me towards him

"That is so sweet Greg, my dad would appreciate that." I replied as I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thing is Amanda, I have grown up without a dad, both April and I have; and we look upon your dad as our own. I am old fashioned, and I think it is only right I ask your dad first; and not just because of impressions, but because mother told me that was the correct way to do things." He explained

"I really like your mother Greg, as she has done well as a single parent with you and April. She has worked hard, and kept down two jobs to give you the best she could. I will be honest with you though, you have both turned out well; as you could have easily gone down the same way as Billy Fisher. You know him don't you?" I asked

"Yes he is in care now, because he got in with the wrong crowd and ended up doing drugs and robbing cars. His mother has since remarried, and have now left the area because of all the trouble he brought to the house and too her." He replied.

"See, she was a single parent and could not hack it like your mother. Just goes to show, not every single parent is terrible; and at least you helped out at home when you were needed, and you kept busy what with football and rugby." I told him

"You had better stop, before my head gets too big for this jumper." He said as he laughed.

I just looked at him and gave him a slap on the thigh, as we held each other throughout the bus journey to Hackney. And it was the first time that I had been with just Greg, and not having April with us either. I think Greg did mention she was helping her mother with chores, and would be round ours later. I enjoyed that afternoon with Greg, and for the first time he held my hand and it felt great. This was the very first time he had held my hand, and it actually meant something; instead of friend with friend. Walking down the street hand in hand was equally as nice, and not as though I had street cred or anything; it was just nice that this time holding hands meant something. Greg was finally my boyfriend, and no longer a school friend; and I was walking on cloud nine as we walked towards the cinema. We looked on the boards, and we were lucky as Jurassic Park was showing till Sunday, then it was being removed for a few more blockbusters. We went into the cinema, where Greg purchased four of the fancier seats, so we would be more comfortable. We then made our way out of the complex, as we purchased a few mini donuts to take back home for Rebecca; as we knew that she loved them. Standing at the bus stop, Greg pulled me towards him where I had my first kiss. But still being quite shy, it was not one where people stared as tongues were thrust down one another's throat. It was just a nice gentle loving kiss, as he then pulled me towards him and we embraced whilst waiting for the bus. Just like the gentleman he was, he never pushed his way onto the bus first, but allowed an elderly couple to go ahead of us, where he even helped them with their shopping and put it in the area where a few other bags were stored. They were ever so thankful calling him a polite young man, and looking at me to say that I have a very nice gentleman friend. I looked at them and just smiled, before running up the stairs to get a seat. We just collapsed in the seats as I gazed out of the window, making sure that Greg had the tickets safe. Greg then placed his arm over me as I lay into him; picking up my phone to text Rebecca to let her know we are on our way home.

When we got home, Rebecca ran up to us to see if we had had a nice afternoon.

"Did you get the tickets Greg?" She asked, all excited

"Yes Becca, they are here in my pocket." He replied

"COOL. Did you manage to get them for Jurassic Park?" She asked

"Yes Becca, and we have got the nice posh seats at the back; the nice big comfy leather ones." He replied

"COOL." She said.

She then noticed that Greg gave me a kiss before coming indoors.

"Hey, what you two doing?" She asked, as she looked Greg in the eye

"Nothing." I replied

"I saw you kissing Greg, Manda." She said

"Oh that?" I told her

"Are you going out with him?" She asked

"He has only just asked me, I have not had time to tell mom and dad yet." I replied

With that Rebecca ran into the lounge, and looking at mother and father, she began singing.

"Manda's got a boyfriend, and I just saw them kissing, Manda's got a boyfriend."

"Is this true Amanda?" Mother asked

"Greg has only just asked me mother." I told her

"It's about time son; I was beginning to worry about you." Father replied, as he winked his eye at us, letting on that he already knew.

"Worry about me Mr Daniels?" He said

"Yes Greg, I did not think you had it in you." Father said

"I was waiting for the right moment Mr Daniels." Greg replied

"Well now you can call me dad, Greg." Father said

"Ok Mr Daniels, sorry dad." Greg replied

Mother also told him to start calling her mom, as she too was pleased that he had finally asked me to be his girlfriend.

"Told you so Manda; told you so." Rebecca said

"Oh is that right Becca?" I replied

"She has always fancied you Greg, ever since she saw you in your football gear. She told me that you were hot and very fit." Rebecca told Greg

I went bright red, then looked at her and said.

"Right I am going to get you."

Rebecca started to scream, as she ran upstairs; and I chased after her. I just heard mother say careful, but I knew this was not to over exert her. I finally caught up with her in her bedroom, and jumped on the bed where we had a pillow fight. Then we just lay on the bed as she put her head on my tummy, and told me that she was glad that Greg and I were together. When we got downstairs, Greg reminded me that I still had the donuts for Rebecca, so I took them out of my bag and put them in the microwave for a few seconds to warm them up. Rebecca then got the squirty cream from out of the fridge and we all tucked in the mini donuts and cola. That day Greg and April had become more a part of our family, much to my parents delight; and of course the approval of Rebecca. We all went into the spare room to watch movies, whilst mother and father caught up with their own television programmes. Then when it got a little late, father said he would drive Greg back home as he had to go and get some petrol. I gave him a kiss at the front door, as Rebecca did the same; then father told mother he would not be long. By the time father got back, I had put Rebecca to bed and read her a story; where she soon dropped off with her faithful Mr Pipkins. I then went back downstairs, where I began talking about Greg, and our first date. It was one of those conversations where I was not embarrassed to talk about boys with my parents. They knew that Greg was respectable, and that we were not at a stage where it was sexual. I had always told my parents, that before children I wanted a career first, so they knew I was not going to do anything silly to jeopardise my future. Like them I needed to put money away and save, so that when a family came along I could afford to look after them. I also wanted to be a school teacher, so staying on at 6th form and then university was all that I had on my mind. Greg was still hovering over university, or going into the forces; where April was like me and stayed on at school as she too wanted to be a school teacher, so I did still have a friend who I could hang out with wherever I ended up. That morning was our usual morning, apart from Rebecca being impatient as she could not wait to get out of the door to go to the cinema. When she got up for breakfast, she was already dressed in her best dress.

"Oh Becca, it is far too early to get all dressed up. The film does not start till 2.30." I told her

"I thought if I got ready now, I would not have to worry later on." She replied

"Becca, go back upstairs and put your jeans on, and we will have breakfast outside if you like?" I told her

"Ok Manda, but will you let me know when it is ready to get changed, as I want to be ready before Greg and April turns up." She said now very excited.

Mother and father just looked at me and smiled. They knew how much Rebecca meant to me, and although my parents considered another baby, they were very content with just Rebecca and me. Rebecca came down in her jeans and a nice sweatshirt, and she carried the bottle of orange juice, as I put our breakfast on a tray and walked into the back garden.

"If it gets too cold Amanda, please come in and get your coats." Mother said

"Yes mother." I replied

I put the blanket on the floor, and Rebecca tidied it up so that I could put the tray down. We had croissants and jam, and yoghurt for dessert. Rebecca poured out the orange juice, as again she got excited about going to the cinema. Whilst we were eating, father again came out and moved the car from the garage to the drive, as he said he would drive us to Hackney. As he came back through the gate, he came over to us and as he kissed Rebecca on the face, he picked up what was left of her croissant and ate it.

"Hey, that's mine daddy." She said, as father then stuck his tongue out at her.

She then got up and chased him around the garden, as he kept saying 'can't catch me slowcoach.' Then as she did catch up with him, he grabbed her and picked her up as he blew a raspberry on her neck.

"Stop it daddy, it is tickling; please stop it." She screamed.

"Manda, help me. Get daddy off me." She called over

I got up to go over and help out, when he put Rebecca down; then he grabbed hold of me and threw me over his shoulders as he again chased Rebecca.

"I am going to get you Rebecca." He shouted

"Put me down dad, I have just had breakfast." I said, as I started to hit him on the back and scream.

I could see mother looking out of the kitchen laughing her head off, as she then came to the back door.

"My goodness, it's been a long time since you got Amanda over your shoulders dear." She said

"I know, and my goodness she has grown." He replied

He then placed me on the ground, as he grabbed hold of Rebecca and placed her on top of me. He then leaned over us as he pinned us down and then kissed us both on the cheek.

"Right Rebecca would you like daddy to get you another croissant?" He said

"No daddy, can I please have a slice of toast?" She replied

Mother looked over and said she will put some in the toaster for us. Five minutes later mother came out and brought some toast, and then she went back indoors to get a pot of tea sorted for her and dad. She came back with their tea as well as a cardigan for Rebecca, as she thought it was just a little bit cold. We all sat down and had the rest of our breakfast, as Rebecca sat in between mother and father. When it was time to go, we all got into the car where Greg sat in the front with dad; whilst the girls were in the back. Rebecca was getting very excited, but not so she was uncontrollable; she was just a very excited little girl. I switched on my cassette player, and shared one of the earphones with Rebecca as I had just packed a few of her Kylie's tapes. We were singing in the background, as father and Greg looked at us and began laughing. When we then got to Hackney, and as dad pulled up he put twenty pound into Greg's hand and this time he insisted.

"You will need to get her an ice-cream and drinks Greg; and afterwards you could go over the road and get something to eat if you are still all hungry." He said

"Thank you dad." He replied.

We got out of the car, and we all gave dad a kiss. Yes all of us including Greg. Dad just looked at him and said

"You cheeky sod."

Rebecca waved goodbye, and dad shouted out of the window to call him when we had finished and he would pick us back up; so again we waved to him, as we made our way into the cinema. Greg walked with April to get the popcorn and crisps, whilst I took Rebecca over to the pick and mix. Greg did not use dad's money as we had all planned for this day, and had our own money. Rebecca filled a bag of her favourite white mice, and shoe laces, as well as those awful tangy animals. We then left the foyer and made our way to the auditorium, where Rebecca was in her element as there was a place for her drink, and the chair was so big she could have slept on it. Just then Greg took hold of my hand.

"They are holding hands April, they are in love bless them." She said

April then made a gesture of putting her fingers in her throat to be sick, and Rebecca just laughed her head off. She then looked at me and said

"Are you both in love?"

"We are you cheeky madam." Greg told her

He then reached over and looked at Rebecca where he said

"Come here Becca, I have something to tell you."

As she leaned over to hear what he had to say, he turned his face and landed a kiss on her lips.

"Urgh, that's horrible Greg."

"Gotcha." He said as he laughed

"You need to have a shave Greg, as you have some stubble growing on your face." Rebecca told him

April and I could not stop laughing, as Rebecca kept wiping her lips; and rubbing her face where Greg's bit of facial hair tickled her. We had a wonderful afternoon, as it was so nice seeing Rebecca have some kind of normality; with the start of her life being so hit and miss. We all thought how great it was to actually have a childhood of laughter and tomfoolery, and to see Rebecca laugh and smile was just a reward in itself.

As I had mentioned, mother often talked about the thought of having another child, but always told us that it was soon dismissed; as she had Greg and April who were like her own children, and she had kind of adopted them as they were always round the house. She did not mind them coming over, as she knew it was a bit of a break for her, as Rebecca loved them both and they would sit with her in the garden whilst she could get on with her daily chores without worrying. Also to give mom and dad time together, we would take Rebecca to see Greg play football. The times that she was a little unwell and not very mobile, we would take the wheelchair we loaned from the hospital. Father would drop us off and collect us if we used the wheelchair, and then he would take mother shopping and then take her for lunch whilst we did our things; as not every day was all of us eating together. Mother and father still did have their own days together, where just the two of them would have a romantic lunch together; whilst we all looked after Rebecca. I knew they appreciated us doing this, and they never had to really ask us; as I loved being around Rebecca. Mother also tried to give me money a few times, but I always said I do not need money for looking after my sister; so I was always brought some nice new clothes, or mother would buy me some tapes or records. Besides, both Becca and I; had quite a nice allowance from our parents, so I never needed anything more from them. Greg and April were also treated by my parents, and again they never asked for it as they too loved being around Rebecca. So whilst we were watching Greg play football, we made sure that Rebecca was warm as it was a bit of a cold day. She had her hat and scarf on, as she cheered Greg every time he went to shoot a goal. Then Rebecca tugged at my hand and said

"Manda April here you are, you can share my chocolate bar." She said

"Oh thank you poppit." April replied

"Don't eat too much Becca, as we are going to the chicken hut after Greg has finished." I told her

Greg came over to us when he had finished and now he was topless, as he came over to us to let us know he would be out as soon as he showered. He had certainly filled out since the first time I saw him topless in Florida; as Greg had now developed a six pack, and he now had a bit of chest hair, as well as a defined outline of a moustache. Yes he was very fit and hunky and he always made my heart melt when I saw him.

When we had finally finished at the chicken hut, we decided to go home, as we noticed there was a storm brewing in the distance. We did not want to be in town when it got overhead, so we quickly gathered our things as we made our way home. It was not long when we arrived that April decided to go home, as she was going out on a date with Ian; and just like Greg and I she wanted a bit of time alone. Greg and I went upstairs, where Rebecca soon followed as we began listening to music and just chilling out. I had for some time had a double bed, because of the times April had a sleepover; as mother thought the single bed was not practical; so the three of us just lay on the bed as Rebecca was contented with her music, as she lay in between Greg and me. I am sure sometimes she did it on purpose so we did not get too close, as sometimes she was like a right old mother hen. After a few hours mother called us, as she told us that tea was ready. Knowing that we had already eaten, she did not put a lot out as she only made egg and chips. It was then that I asked if Greg could stop over, and much to my surprise, both mother and father agreed that he could, but as always he had to clear it with his mother first. Rebecca could not sleep that night, as the thunderstorm that had been brewing in the distance; was now upon us. Rebecca never liked thunder and lightning and either ran to my room or our parent's room. I was fortunate with mom and dad letting Greg stay over with me, as I knew by now that they knew that there would be no funny business as Greg was not that kind of boy; and I was relieved because I had him to cuddle up to, because I too was not keen on thunderstorms. Rebecca then ran into my bedroom as she called out my name, so I pulled back the quilt as she climbed into bed, and got in the middle of us; where Greg and I comforted her and told her that she would be ok as the storm would be over soon. Mother knew she would be fine and had no worries, so she would hardly ever come into my room to disturb us to see if everything was ok; because she would not make a fuss for fear of waking everyone else up. We got through the storm, and that morning Greg went back home before I got up as he had football practice again. I came down stairs and Rebecca was already at the breakfast table, and I noticed mother and father making a fuss of her. I did not take that much notice though, as it was more a backward glance, as mother always fussed Rebecca so it was nothing new. I had a text come through that morning from April, to see if I wanted to go into the city with her. She wanted to go to Chelsea Girl, to buy a new skirt and blouse. I text her back to let her know I would speak to mother first, and that I would get back to her; so just as I was finishing breakfast, I got up and put my dish into the dishwasher when I called to mother.

"Mom, can I?" I asked as she sharply interrupted.

"Not now Amanda, I am busy." She replied in a rather sharpish tone.

"But mom." I said as again I was interrupted

"Amanda, can't you see that mother is busy with Rebecca?" Father said as he snapped at me

"But dad." I said now getting very frustrated.

"No buts Amanda, mother is busy." She shouted

Getting nowhere I turned around and stamped out of the room, slamming the kitchen door behind me.

"I will have none of that young lady; now get to your bedroom until you are adult enough not to throw your toys out of your pram." Father said, has he gave me a dressing down

"I was only going to ask." I said as again father pointed to the stairs.

"Bedroom Amanda, until you know how to act better." He shouted.

I ran up the stairs as I shouted that I hated him, and then shut my door as I threw myself on the bed. I just lay there as I began to cry, but it was more a cry of anger than of being upset.

A while later, after I had listened to a few tapes as I had since upgraded my cassette player; there was a knock on the door.

"Go away." I shouted.

"It's me Manda, can I come in?" Becca said.

"Sure Becca, come on in." I replied as I reached for another tape.

"Is this because of me Manda?" She asked as she stood at the end of the bed

"No Becca, I just wanted to ask mom something." I replied, as I fiddled with the cassette case.

"I cannot help being poorly at times Manda; I wish I wasn't so I could spend more time with you." She replied as she got a little upset.

"It's not you Becca, so please get that thought out of your head." I told her, as I patted the bed in a gesture for her to come and sit next to me.

"They worry about me Manda, that's all." She replied

"I know Becca, and so do I. Can't they see that?" I said as I snapped.

"Parents eh Manda; but we still love them with all of their faults." She said as she slightly giggled

"You do make me laugh at times Becca. I worry about you too, and I miss us hanging out together and playing in the garden." I replied as I gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek

"I know you do Manda. So what did you want to ask mom?" She replied

"Just if I could go into the city with April, that's all." I said, as I held onto her hand

"Ask her later then Manda, when she is less stressed." She replied, as she smiled at me which warmed my heart.

"I will do Becca. Do you want to listen to some music? Come on take that part of the headphones." I said, as I inserted my cd into the player

We lay on the bed with our heads touching, as my feet were up against the wall; and Amanda had her legs on the bed with her knees facing upwards. We stayed there for a good hour listening to all types of music, from my compilation tapes to some of Rebecca's favourites. When we had finished, I told Rebecca that she could stay as long as she wanted in my bedroom to listen to music, because I knew she was not the kind of sister who would trash my things. She was very careful with other people's property, and looked after them as though they were her own. I did not always stay at home when Rebecca was there, but when I did, I did it by choice; and she was always in my thoughts. Yes I hated her being poorly, and I hated her cancer, and I hated the fact we did not spend lots of time together when she was poorly; as so many times we both had that conversation, where she too was angry and being ill. I knew though that today Rebecca could not come out with me as she had been getting a bit of a fever again, and mother wanted to make sure she was ok; as again she thought it was the dreaded pesky flu; especially after such a big thunderstorm we had the night before. I then again asked mother if I could go into the city with April, and she said yes it was fine as I needed time to spend with my friends too. She told me that she was taking Becca to the park to have a picnic with the ducks if her fever seemed to be a little better; and then she said to me.

"I am sorry about shouting earlier Amanda; you know I worry so much about Rebecca. The thunderstorm last night did not help, as I tossed and turned all night as I listened to Rebecca coughing."

"I know mother, and I am sorry for going off on one." I replied as I asked where father was, to be told he had just taken the car to get petrol.

I then text April, to let her know I was on my way round to hers. When I got there, I explained to her what had happened.

"Most people would not do what you do Amanda, especially where Becca is concerned." April said

"I love Becca so much April; there is nothing I would not do for her." I replied as I had a tear appear in my eye

"We know that, it shows that you both have a special bond. What I meant was that you never go anywhere without her that often." She explained, as she held my hand and comforted me

"I am not selfish that's why April. It is sometimes too much for mom and dad, day in and day out that I like to help as much as I can." I told her

"I know and I have to admit, Becca is a lovely girl and never complains." She replied as she started to get her jacket

"I know, and I am not sure I could be as brave as Becca is; not with all that is going on." I replied to her

"And then there is her charity work, how on earth does she find the time." April replied with a look of amazement

"I don't know April, but she has taught me a few things. That's why I don't mind going out and have her come with us, because she puts people first." I said now a little more relaxed

"Today is nice though Amanda, just you and me; even though I do miss the four of us." She said as we started to come down from her bedroom

"Yeah it does seem strange not having Becca and Greg with us. Even Becca said I need more girly time with you April." I said as I started to giggle

"She is amazing Amanda, and she is an inspiration to us all. I think we should go to the bear shop, and buy her a new one for her collection." April suggested

"What a good idea, saves buying her sweets." I replied as we now had got to the front door.

"Bye mom, Bye Mrs Chambers." We both said at the same time

"Bye girls, have a nice time." Mrs Chambers shouted back

So we went down the road to Haggerston Station, and we caught the bus to go to Oxford Circus. We decided to go by bus because it was a lovely day, and did not want to get off at Highbury and get the tube; because it was a longer journey. When we got to Oxford circus, we did our usual thing of going into the dress shops just looking at what new was in, before going to the shoe shops. We never always brought anything when shopping, as it was just fun going in and seeing what they had, as well as to be cheeky and try a few things on. It also passed the time of day, as we did not just want to go to the HMV music store and then back home. After about an hour, we began walking from one of the cheaper clothes stores and made our way to the record store. It was then that April noticed that there were two boys following us, and as I looked round they stopped in their tracks. I told April maybe she had it wrong, as no boy would want to go into a girls shop.

"I swear to you Amanda, they were looking through the window at us when we were in Topshop." She said, as she grabbed hold of my arm

"They are just silly boys April, here lets go into Superdrug, as I need some lipstick." I replied to her.

So we went into Superdrug and had a browse around, when indeed the boys followed us in. We just looked at them, as we paid for our things and left the shop. Every now and then we would look back as we walked down the street, and still they were behind us as they slowly followed behind. April and I then decided to go into Costa, where we sat down out of the way, and had a smoothie. As we sat down we had a look at what we had got from Superdrug, as April had brought a palette of eyeshadow, as she wanted to try something new out. I just had my lipstick and eye liner, and treated myself to a new big blusher brush; where low and behold the boys came into Costa's. They both brought a fruit drink, as they then sat down by us as one of the boys said.

"What you girls up to?"

"None of your business, so go away." April said

"Do you want to come to Burger King with us, and you know, hang out?" One of the boys said, as he reached over the table to us getting in our faces.

"No we don't want to go to Burger King, why don't you go and annoy someone else." I said, as I picked up my drink and looked at April; as I suggested we go

We then heard the boys start to call us names, as we headed towards the door. They then followed us, as we were beginning to get a little scared now. I then asked April if she had her phone on her as I had left mine on the kitchen table, to which April looked in her bag and found her phone.

"Call Greg, April; and please ask him to come and meet us." I begged her

So April phoned Greg and told him what was going on, when she then told me that he was on his way. We finished our smoothies, and placed the empty cups into the bin just outside HMV, as we made our way into the store to look for a gift for Rebecca. Again the boys came into the store, as they now became a little intimidating, as they came up to us which I thought was a little too close for comfort. One of them tried to put his arm over me, as I backed off and pushed him.

"Will you please leave us alone?" I said, as I pushed him into the music racks.

"What's your problem; you're not lesbians are you?" He rudely replied

"No we are not; we are just not interested in you. Now why don't you just leave us alone?" April told them

"Come on, what harm can it do, it's only a burger?" The other boy said

"Look we aint interested ok, now sod off." I said, as I looked for a member of staff.

It was then that I had noticed from the corner of my eye, a new Kylie greatest hits tape, so I picked it up and told April that I will buy Rebecca it; as we then made our way to the till. We paid for the tape as we then left the store, as April's phone began to ring. I then heard April tell Greg that we were by HMV, and she told me that he said he was ten minutes away. The boys came out and again began to pester us, as they started to call us names, but also tried to push us to go with them; as again they tried to put their arms over us. It was then that we saw Greg with Ian, and we were so relieved; as these boys had begun to give us a scare. As Greg got closer, I ran into his arms and told him thank you, as Ian stood in front of April and made sure she was ok. The other boys began to leave, as again they began to gob off, calling us slags and all manner of unpleasant names; so Ian and Greg; who were much taller and fitter than they were, ran after them to have a go at them. I had never seen anyone run so fast in my life, as they ran across the road dodging the buses and cars. Greg and Ian then came back to us, as we finished doing our shopping; before heading back to the bus stop where we made our way back home. Greg held my hand, as Ian grabbed hold of Aprils, where we walked down the road, still looking out for these boys just in case they returned. Shortly after getting back to Haggerston, we went to the local deli and got a few things for the party that we promised Rebecca. When we got home she was already in the garden with Mr Pipkins, and so we sat down and placed the goodies on the blanket, as Greg sat next to me and Ian sat next to April. Rebecca asked if we had enjoyed our afternoon, and I then told her what had gone on in the city, where Rebecca replied.

"It is because you are beautiful Manda."

"Oh that's so lovely of you to say Becca." I said, as I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek

"You both are, and I hope I am as beautiful as you when I grow up Manda." She said, as she picked up one of the cakes we had brought

"You are beautiful as well Becca." April told her

"No I am not because I am still a little girl, mommy says I am pretty, not beautiful." She said"

"They mean the same Becca; pretty means beautiful to little cheeky girls." I told her as I brushed my finger over her nose

"I am not cheeky, Greg is." She laughed

"Who, what?" Said Greg

"You are cheeky Greg." Rebecca said, as she laughed and stuck her tongue out at him

"Am I indeed?" He said, as he reached over to Becca and began to tickle her playfully

Rebecca then lay down wriggling, as she began to scream and laugh, when it came to the attention of mother who poked her head out of the window. Mother could see that it was just harmless fun, as she then told us to be a little careful.

"Cheeky am I Becca? I will show you how cheeky I am." He said as again he began to gently tickle her

"No Greg, please stop it. Manda; April stop him." She screamed

April and I got up and went over to Greg. I got hold of his hands, as April grabbed his legs as we pulled him off Becca and laid him on the floor.

"Come on Becca, sit on him and get your own back. We will hold his hands and legs." April said, giving Becca the nod to egg her on

She then sat up and sat on Greg's waist, as she began to tickle him as she laughed uncontrollably

"You wait, I will get you back. Ian come and help me mate, I am being set upon by three girls here." He shouted, as we all set about him

"Sorry Greg you are on your own, I am staying out of it." He replied, as he began laughing at what was going on

Dad then walked through the back gate, as he saw us pinning Greg down and just smiled and rolled his eyes. Rebecca then got up off Greg and ran into fathers arms, as she told him that she has been tickling Greg because he tickled her for calling him cheeky. Again he smiled and told her to finish having her party, and he will come out once he had got changed. We all sat down rather red faced with all the excitement, when Ian spoke and Rebecca looked at him. Although she had met Ian a few times before, she never really had much to do with him because of him being a little quiet; plus the fact she was either with Sarah Jane, or with mother. So this time being a little bit more inquisitive, she looked at Ian and said

"How do you know Greg?"

"I met him through Sunday league football, and we have been friends ever since." He replied

"Ian are you a cockney boy?" She asked, as she was very curious to know

"I am hurt Becca, no I am an Essex boy." He replied, as he gave her a wink and a nod

"What's the difference?" She asked

"Essex boys are better looking, and harder than the cockney softies." He replied

"My dad is from Kent, and my mom is a London lady. Do you go to the same school as Greg?" She asked as again she picked up her cake and took a bite out of it.

"No I go to a school in Essex, and I go to a drama school in London." He told her, as she now moved round and sat by him.

"You go to two schools, is it not confusing?" She again asked, biting into her cake

"No as my regular school is in Essex, and my drama school is here in London, so it does not collide with each other; because I have permission to attend drama school, where there are also tutors to help with your regular school work." He replied

"What do you do at drama school Ian?" She asked, as she had that confusing frown on her face

"I learn all about acting, and about how to play different characters." He replied, rather proudly

"Have you been on television?" She said

"Yes I have been in Grange Hill." He answered, as she looked at him with a look of excitement

"I don't watch Grange Hill, I watch Blue Peter. I have been on television too with my sponsored walks." She told him, now looking as proud as a peacock

"I know I have seen you on the news. Would you like to be an actress Becca?" He asked her

"No I want to be a nurse when I grow up, just like nurse Rosie." She replied

"I think you will make a very good nurse Becca." Ian said, as he gave her a hug

"Thank you; and I think you will make a very good actor Ian." She replied, as she settled back to cake and cola

Father then came out in a pair of shorts and a shirt, as he came over and sat by us.

"Daddy, Ian is an actor and has been on television in Grange Hill." She said, in a rather excited little girl's voice

"Has he really, then he is very clever to learn all of his lines." Father replied

"Yes just like I had to for my Christmas play when I played Mary. But it was very hard work trying to remember them all and looking at the people in the audience. I think I will just stick with wanting to be a nurse." She proudly said

"Right I think we should finish up here, and tidy up for your mother. I am sure you have no room left for your dinner now with all what you have eaten here." Father said, as he started to help us clean pick up some of the empty cake wrappers

"I will have enough room in my tummy daddy, if it is only a little amount; because I have eaten a lot of cake and chocolate and had a lot of fizzy cola, but there is still a little more room left." Rebecca said smiling to father

So we all tidied up as we went inside, and mother made us all something to eat but instead of plating it she told us to help ourselves; as she placed it all on plates and displayed it on the dining table. We then watched television for a while, before Rebecca went to bed, and then I asked mother if I could have one last hour round at Aprils which she told me was fine, but had to be home no later than 9pm The next day Greg and April had come over to the house, much to Becca's joy as she so loved hanging around with us. He had brought with him a skateboard, and started to skate down the drive, and through the back gate down the footpath. Rebecca sat on the lawn with April, as I went over to Greg to have a go on his skateboard. I stood on it and as I had been told by Greg, I pushed my spare leg to give me momentum; but I could not do it and I fell over, sending the skateboard flying into mothers flower border. Well they all started laughing at me as I landed on my bum, as I looked at them in embarrassment. Greg then told me to stand on the board, as he started to pull me along. I started to scream as again April began laughing her head off, as I noticed father filming us. Rebecca was quite content sitting with April, as she played with Mr Pipkins. I then heard April tell Rebecca, to come over to Greg and help him push me down the drive. So as Greg held my hand as he pulled me slowly down the drive, April got behind me and started to push; as Rebecca got behind her and pushed her. Just as we got through the gate, and headed down the garden path; mother was at the kitchen window and then began knocking hard as she shouted franticly.

"Rebecca, stop that now and come inside."

"Mommy, now stop it. Enough is enough." Becca shouted back at her.

"Excuse me Rebecca." She said harshly.

"It was not Manda, Greg or April. I helped push Manda because I wanted to." She told mother as she began getting angry.

"But you have to be careful Rebecca, and you three should know better." Mother shouted

"Enough mommy; you have got to stop treating me like a baby." Becca cried

"I worry about you Rebecca; you should not be playing roughly." Mother said, now in a caring mothering voice.

"Then stop it please mommy, because you have to let me play like a little girl. You have got to stop wrapping me up in cotton wool, because I need to have a childhood mommy." She cried, now being hugged by April.

"But some playtime games are dangerous and rough Rebecca, and I do not want to see you get hurt." Mother said, now standing at the back door

"Only to you mommy, Manda, Greg and April would never let me come to any harm. Now wind your neck in mommy, because I wish I was never born." She replied, now getting very rebellious as she continued to cry

"Enough Rebecca Daniels, now get indoors." Mother said very sharpish, as she threw Mr Pipkins to the floor as she stamped her feet; then walked over to me

"Don't say that Becca, mom worries about you that's all sweetheart. I am glad you were born, because I could not think of a day where I would not want you in my life." I replied, as I held her close to me

"But she never worries about you, like she does me Manda. I just want to play properly, and I just want to be a normal little girl." She cried in my arms

"I know Becca, but please try and understand mother and fathers concern." I told her trying to calm the situation down.

So Rebecca walked towards mother as Greg picked up the skateboard, and the three of us went to the back garden and sat on the lawn, where we talked for a little while before heading back indoors; whilst Ian escorted April back home. It was not long before Greg also went home, and we said goodnight to each other. I told him that I would see him tomorrow, and he then gave me a kiss on the lips and he made his way to Rebecca; who was disgusted as she pulled away from him. She really was a funny girl, but we knew she did not mean any harm; besides Greg used to egg her on a few times as he teased her. I decided to have the last hour in my room, before settling down to some television time with mother and father. Rebecca followed me upstairs, as we told mom and dad that we would not be long as we were going to have some girly time in my room. We sat on my bed as I sorted out a few tapes, and then I looked at Rebecca as I said.

"Come here Becca, come and sit on the bed."

"Ok Manda, what are we going to listen to?" She asked

"I have put on a compilation of songs Becca; I think it is now that's what I call music 89. Would you like me to put some make up on your face Becca?" I asked

"Will mommy not go mad at me Manda?" She replied

"No Becca, I will only put on this gloss, as it is not as though I am making up your whole face. Here you are Becca would you like to try this colour?" I asked her, as I now had an array of lipsticks and glosses on the bed.

It was not proper lipstick, more like a coloured lip gloss, and I knew it would be ok; because my parents knew I never painted my face like a china doll. I stayed with basics, as I was not into eye shadows or blushers. The most I did now was lips, eyeliner, and a bit of bronzing powder. Rebecca then picked up a few of my lip glosses, and she finally chose a nice light pink one. I picked one out for myself, as I then showed her how to apply the gloss. Rebecca was a little messy at first, and then we wiped it off as I told her to slowly look at me when I applied it. It did not take Rebecca long to pick it up, and then she followed suit and applied the gloss to her lips. After about an hour of girly fun, we decided to go downstairs and sit with mother and father as we caught up on a few programmes. They did notice that Rebecca had lip gloss on, but they did not say anything because they could see it was only gloss and not proper lipstick; which she would have got annoyed at me if I had put it on her. Both mother and father thought she looked very pretty, as they reminded Rebecca that she had a lovely face and did not need all the other muck on; as it would spoil her pretty baby face. Rebecca then said that she would one day like to try some eye liner and blusher, but she did not think she would use eye colour like April as she wanted to look natural like me. Thing is I did use a little bit of eye colour from time to time; but it was so light that you rarely noticed it. A few more weeks had passed by, and this one day Greg text me to say he was on his way over; as he had something of importance to tell me. I was blown away with wonder, as we rarely kept anything from each other, because we would either say it by text or we would wait till we saw each other. We would never text and then put the thoughts of wondering what it was; that seemed to linger as you worried with anticipated excitement. Greg had now arrived, as I was looking impatiently at him as he walked down the drive. As soon as he got to the back door, he placed his arms around me and gave me a kiss in the lips; as he made his way to look for Rebecca just to let her know he was here, before coming back to me.

"Hiya Amanda; how are you?" He asked

"I am fine Greg, just been worrying myself to death about what you wanted to tell me, that's all." I replied.

Mother then came into the kitchen and asked if we wanted a cup of tea, to which Greg said he would love one.

"It's nothing much really Amanda, sorry if I have worried you; I just want to talk to you about Uni that's all." He replied

"Oh is that it? I thought it was something really serious Greg; and you have me worry frantically." I told him

"I am so sorry Amanda, you know me, I have to come and see you rather that text; as I find texting sometimes a little impersonal." he said as he put his arm over my shoulder.

Mother made us a cup of tea, as we then went into the lounge to spend a bit of time with Rebecca. Greg asked where dad was, and mother then told him that he was at the garage as the car needed its mot. Greg began playing with Rebecca with one of her games, as we all started to get on with just chatting and sorting out what to do for the day. After yet another cup of tea, which Greg made; father got in and told mother that the car had passed which he was pleased about. So Greg made him a cup of tea before asking me if I wanted to go upstairs and chill for a little while. I picked up my drink and made my way upstairs to my bedroom, and then we just chilled out listening to music as we lay on the bed. We then got onto the subject of university, and I told Greg that I just applied to the University of East London alongside April; and we were now just waiting to see if we were accepted. Greg then gave me his news which devastated me.

"Amanda, I am sorry if my news gives you concerns of disillusion; because I have been accepted at Oxford University, and I start in April." He said

"Oh Greg, why go so far away? Could you not have gone to the University of London or closer?" I asked him.

"I did try Amanda, but I truly feel that Oxford has the better Uni, to help me with becoming a Member of Parliament. And it is not as though I am the other side of the country Amanda; I am about fifty miles away." He replied, as I placed my head onto his chest and started to cry.

"I am not going to see you that often now Greg." I told him

"Thing is Amanda, you will be at Uni with April; so you will be busy studying anyway. I promise you that I will phone you every day, and I will come back every few weekends; so we will be spending time together." He said, as I just lay next to him.

Once I had finished crying, we spoke a little more before he said that he had to go as he was going to take his mother shopping. He had not quite passed his driving test yet, and father continued to give him a few lessons when he was not so busy, as well as his mother giving him a few lessons; as well as allowing him to drive the car when she needed to go to the superstore. His mother needed to go to town and do a big shop, so rather than ask father to help Greg said he would go with her; and that he would be round later. We got off the bed and made our way downstairs, where Greg told mother and father that he would be round later; as he gave Rebecca a kiss on the forehead. At the back door he put his arms around me, as he kissed me on the lips and told me he would see me in a few hours.

"Bye everyone, see you later." He shouted.

I then closed the door behind him as I placed my back onto it pushing it shut, as I just started to cry. Just then mother came into the kitchen, as she asked me what on earth was wrong.

"What's the matter Amanda, come here sweetheart." Mother said

"Oh mom, it's Greg." I replied

"What's happened, you have not broken up have you?" She asked

"Oh no mom it's not that." I told her

"Then what is it Amanda?" mom said, now comforting me

"He is going to Oxford Uni." I said

"Is that all sweetheart." She asked

"It may as well be out of the country mom, because I am not going to be able to see him." I cried

"It is fifty miles away sweetheart, it's not like he is out of reach. It is only fifty miles." Mom said

"I know, but I cannot just jump on a train when I need him, or if I want a hug." I replied

Just then dad walked through the door with Rebecca, and he saw me crying in mom's arms

"What's wrong with you sweetheart?" Dad asked

"It's Greg dad." I cried

"You have not split up have you?" He asked me

"No dear, Greg has got himself a place at Oxford University." Mother told him

"You silly girl, he is only fifty miles away. A train or car journey is all it takes. And he will phone you every night I am sure, and then there are the holidays." Dad said

"I know; it is just a shock that's all as I thought he would have chosen the same Uni as April and me." I replied

"You worry too much Amanda, you will not have time to think about him when you are studying too, and you still have April for company." Mom said

"You still have me Manda." Rebecca said

"Yes I know Becca, but Greg and I have hardly been apart from each other." I replied as I sat down next to her on the couch.

"I know Manda, and I am sure he will phone you." She told me as she put her arm underneath mine.

"Oh Becca, I am going to miss him so much." I told her, now being comforted by her as she passed me one of her tissues

"Please don't cry Manda, I am here and I will never leave you. I shall miss him very much too." Rebecca told me

"I do love you Becca, because you say some of the loveliest things." I replied

"Like mom and dad have said, he will phone you every day; and he will be home at the holidays." She said as she gave me a hug

"I know Becca, it's just we have never been away from each other for so long. I thought he would have gone to a university in London." I told her as I gave her a kiss on the forehead

"You never know Manda; you might end up living at number ten if Greg becomes Prime Minister." She said giggling

"Oh I don't know about that Becca, but wouldn't it be fun at Christmas to have all the nice big posh parties at number 10." I said to her laughing

"Oh yes Manda, and all of the nice big posh dresses we would get to wear. We may even get to see the Queen." She replied now very excited.

"Oh Becca, could you ever imagine such a glorious thing happening. I mean; you and me brushing shoulders with all the rich and famous." I said as we began to have a little laugh.

"Ah but Manda, I already have haven't I? She replied

"Of course you have yes, so by then you will have gotten used to all the celebrity status." I told her now with both of us being very silly.

Greg came back later that day, and we began talking again about him going to Oxford; and after a few months I had got used to it, because by now I was ready to go to Uni myself. Greg kept to his word and phoned me every day, and when he was not in his classes, he would text me to see how I was doing; and what was I up to. We had a wonderful afternoon, and I know it was now going to be few and far between; but I also had to think that I too was going to Uni, and I would have to concentrate on that. I saw Greg to the back door, and as we just stood there talking to each other; he could sense that I was getting upset at the thought of him leaving.

"I will phone you every day Amanda; I promise you I will never miss a day." He told me as he placed his hands on my waist.

"I just never thought that it would come by this quickly Greg. I know you have to leave early and get settled in, but I just thought I would have longer with you." I replied.

"I know babe, but I really do have to leave tomorrow to get settled in, and it was so nice of dad to drive me all the way to Oxford. Hey why don't you come along for the ride?" He told me with a sparkle in his eyes.

"I couldn't Greg; I would break my heart saying goodbye again to you. I know I am silly and sentimental, but it is something you will have to get used to. I will stay home with mother and Becca; and I am so glad dad is driving you though, because any other day than a Sunday and you would have had to catch the train." I replied, as Greg now had his hands around my waist.

As I lay my head on his chest, I heard the beat of his heart racing as my hand brushed the side of his face. He then embraced me, as I placed my lips onto his; and for once I felt safe and secure in a world without doubt or reason; with my spirit uplifting by the sound of his voice, yet dampened by the thought of him going away. We embraced for a few more minutes, as Greg and I indulged in a moment of passion; as I savoured the masculine smell of his cologne; and the strength of his body as he pulled me towards him, reassuring me that he was only a phone call away. We then broke position, as he told me that he loved me; and that he would see me in the morning to have one last kiss that would last him for a few weeks.

That following morning as planned, father got the car out of the garage and prepared for his journey to Oxford with Greg. He did ask me if I wanted to go, but I just could not get myself to take the journey. I thought it would be far better to say our goodbyes now rather than prolong them at the University. Greg embraced Rebecca, as he told her to look after me; and how he was going to miss her laughter and sunshine, and that he too would text her to let her know he is fine. He then walked over to mother, and gave her a hug and told her that he would be back in a few weeks to see us all; and that he wished us all well. Then finally I said my last farewell as he made his way to the car, and we all waved to him as they drove into the distance


	18. Another Relapse

Another Relapse

When it was time for April and I to go to university, we assured Rebecca that we would be coming back at the end of the day; and not to stay away like Greg had to. Rebecca had begun to miss Greg, just as much as I had; and at some point she thought that April and I was also going to stay on campus. It was quite a surreal feeling, seeing all of the other seemingly knowledgeable people on the university grounds; having thoughts alongside April, that we too were one of them. The excitement of knowing that these fellow students; who were also first years like April and me, and none of us quite knowing where we were supposed to be, or what we are supposed to do. April and I started that week with a guided tour of the university, just so that we were able to get our bearings; and in the process we began chatting to some of the other students, as they too revelled in excitement. That was about as serious as it got, because we had to concentrate on classes and lectures. Despite all the fun and frivolity, there was an extensive range of information readily available for us first years; which I think helped us to settle in more quickly. By the end of the week though, both April and I was feeling ready to get started; and to get our heads down with lectures and studying. Through the coming months, we joined every club that we thought would be beneficial to our interests, and alongside meeting other like-minded students; we would often get free food and nights in; as well as nights out partying with fellow students within reason. We were however lucky though that we got to go home, and did not have to endure the loneliness of the single bedrooms; as we got to have fun outside of university.

It was now May of 1997, and Rebecca had been quite poorly on a few occasions; as mother was now once again becoming quite concerned. It was not until she had gotten over yet another chest infection with complications that the doctor referred her back to the hospital. We were told by the doctors at the hospital, about cancer remissions and the chance of recurrence. The doctor called us into his office, where mother and I sat down. I was now at the age where I understood a lot of what was going on; and I did not need to be told with kid gloves as the saying went.

"Mrs Daniels, a remission is when cancer cannot be detected in the body, and that the patient shows no symptoms. It is also known as 'no evidence disease' or NED." He said

"But what has this got to do with Rebecca?" Mother asked.

"Well Mrs Daniels, a remission can be temporary or permanent. This will undoubtedly make many patients and families worried or anxious that the cancer will come back. Whilst many remissions are permanent, it is very important to talk to your doctor about the possibility of the cancer returning. Did you ever talk to your doctor about this? "He asked

"No, as we thought Rebecca was finally clear of the leukemia, as she has been so free from it for these last years." Mother replied.

"If the cancer does return after all other original treatment, it is often referred to as recurrent disease. It may come back in the same place which is called local recurrence, nearby which is called regional recurrence; or in another place which is called distant recurrence." He explained

"And what about Rebecca doctor, where is her recurrence." Mother asked

"We are performing all the tests now Mrs Daniels. When this recurrence occurs, a cycle of testing will begin, and again we will learn as much as possible about the recurrence; including whether the cancer's stage as changed. After testing is done, we will talk to you about the treatment options. Often the treatment plan will include therapies as taken before, or indeed surgery. We may also suggest clinical trials that are a new way of studying how two treat this type of recurrent cancer." He said

Mother was in a flood of tears as she held onto my hand, and then looking at the doctor she said.

"What happens now doctor? What if you cannot treat her properly? She cannot go through all the trauma of this again doctor"

"Mrs Daniels, when cancer recurs, patients and their families often experience a lot of emotions that they cannot control or understand. It is all part of the worrying that you do, because like your child you are very scared. We have a health care team that we will put you in contact with who can help you with these feelings, just let us concentrate on the tests and we will chat again when we have a clearer picture." The doctor explained

Rebecca was in hospital for four months, having test after test and treatment after treatment; and it became a very tough time for both my mother and father, so much so that our grandparents came over to stay for a while. On the fifth month the doctors called mother in to his office for a chat. I was staying at home looking after grandma, as this was taking a strain on her; so grandpa went to the hospital with mother that day. It was three hours later when grandpa came home, leaving mother at the hospital with Rebecca. Grandpa explained to us that the doctors had informed them about Rebecca's condition; as he began to cry.

"I am so sorry my dears, but Rebecca's illness cannot be cured, she is in the advanced stages of leukaemia."

My grandma just broke down in a flood of tears, as I ran over to her and sat between her legs crying in her lap. Grandpa came over to us and tried to calm us down, but he too could not control his emotions; so the three of us hugged each other as we cried uncontrollably together. An hour later my father came through the door, and I stood up and ran towards him.

"Oh dad, it's Rebecca." I cried

My father held me close to him as he kissed me on the head, and he too cried with me.

"I know sweetheart, grandpa told me; so I have just rushed home." He said

"Oh dad, what are we going to do? I thought this was all over and done with. I can't lose her dad, we can't lose her not after all what has happened." I cried

"I do not understand Amanda, as I thought she was in remission. Why oh why must this happen to us?" He cried

I had never seen father cry like the way he did that day, and to see him just break the way he did, put forward my mothering instincts as I just held him and kissed him on the face. Grandpa got up and came over to us, where there my father fell into grandpa's arms as he sobbed his heart out. I then went over to my grandma who herself was crying in a state of disarray. Grandma held me tight trying to calm me down, as she also struggled with her own emotions. Then father came and sat next to my grandma as he cried in her arms; when my grandpa called me out of the room, and together we went into the garden where we sat underneath the magnolia tree and hugged each other. After a while my father got showered, as he then made his way to the hospital; as he asked my grandparents to look after me, and that he would phone when he was about to come home. It was not as though I could not look after myself; it was more the fact I was emotionally drained, and as much as I wanted to go to the hospital, I knew like me my grandparents needed consoling. Shortly after being outside with grandpa, father came out to us, and then called me over where he then said.

"Look after grandma and grandpa please Amanda, I will be as quick as I can. I need to go and see how mother and Rebecca are; I will not be too long I promise"

"Ok dad, please give mom and Becca a big hug from me; and dad please tell them that I love them so very much." I replied now with a face full of tears, as grandpa had gone inside to see how grandma was doing.

I then went back into the lounge, where I sat in between grandma and grandpa as we just hugged and tried to think of some nice stories to lessen the blow of this disastrous news. When father got back from the hospital four hours later, he was a saddened man; whose life seemed to have drained from him. In a soft emotional voice, he sat down and filled us in with what the doctor had told him. The doctor asked to speak to my parents, who went into his office where he told them the sad news.

"I am afraid Mr and Mrs Daniels; there is nothing we can do. Rebecca is in a terminal condition, and I would say prepare yourselves for the worse as we would estimate that she had roughly six months to a year left to live."

Apparently then it was too much for mother, as she could not contain herself. The doctor made a call to ask one of the nurses to come in and assist; and luckily for mother is was Rebecca's favourite nurse Rose. Again the doctor spoke to my parents as he said.

"I would encourage you to think about where you think Rebecca would most likely be comfortable. I think you should consider either taking her home with you, and have a nurse come in daily; or you could consider to letting her stay here in the hospital, or in a hospice environment."

"I think she should come home with us Doctor, we can make my study into a bedroom for her so she does not have to walk up the stairs." Father said, as he held tightly onto mother.

"Ok Mr Daniels, I will need to make the necessary arrangements here, and make sure we have a care plan in practice." The doctor replied

My father was told that nursing care and special equipment can make staying at home better for families to cope with; as they would have a professional team at hand; so that they need not worry too much. My parents were told that children may be happier if they had the strength to attend school part time, or to keep up with some activities they were used to before falling ill. That making sure a child is physically comfortable and free from pain is an extremely important part of the care provided, and they thought that this would be beneficial to Rebecca and us as a family unit. They also knew that the schooling part of the criteria may not be beneficial, as Rebecca was very weak and often spent long periods of time just sleeping.


	19. Losing Rebecca

Losing Rebecca

Rebecca finally came home from hospital, and again my parents made a bed for her in the lounge, so that she was not alone upstairs in her bedroom. Father also turned the study into a day room for her, when she wanted peace and quiet from visitors and the blaring television. We knew this time that we were only counting the days, as Rebecca was now rather pale with the whitest of hair; as she had since lost the colour of her beautiful golden blonde hair she so loved; yet still she made no qualms of ever complaining. Rebecca had good days and bad days, and on the good days we would get up and she would sit in fathers chair with a blanket over her. Her bad days were when she could hardly move, and we could see that she was in pain; but she still never ever let on to us to the full extent of how uncomfortable she was, as she looked at us with eyes that's glistened tears that made them sparkle like night time stars. Mother would be given a break as the Macmillan nurses came in to tend to Rebecca, and they would comfort mother, in her moments of tears which were always shed away from the eyes and ears of Rebecca. This was also too much for father, as with the emotional state he began to endure, he had begun to lose weight and looked rather gaunt and grey in the face; that was once filled with the joys of a contented man. It was not because of any illness he had; it was we feel because he was suffering silently of a broken heart; and being a proud man, he tried to put on a brave face for all of us. He still put a smile on though for Rebecca, as when he came in from work, he would first give her a kiss and ask her how her day was going, before going upstairs to get changed out of his work clothes. He would then come down and sit on the sofa, where he would then rest Rebecca's head on his lap as he stroked her hair and spoke about his day; before reading her a few stories and watching television together. On the days that Rebecca was strong, we would still do girly things and listen to music. April still came around, and never faltered once because she was poorly, and we got to see Greg every other weekend; where Greg still used to torment and tease her, just to make her laugh again. Oh God how we did miss our little Rebecca's laugh, as it was so infectious; and to see her laugh again, brought a moment of merriment within the household; amongst the tears of sadness that were eating at the very hearts of every one of us. Greg like father would sit on the end of the couch, and he would try and tickle her feet where Rebecca would kick out and smile; even in her weaker moments. And then after a while he would have to leave, as it became a little overwhelming where he sought solitude by saying he needed to go to the garage. We knew he was going there to cry, and we knew that father would be somewhere around that area, where he would take charge like a father would with his son as he soon comforted him. Greg like father was a very private person and he did not like to show his emotions too much around others, least of all around his precious Rebecca, whom he had always considered his very special little sister. I knew he needed to be alone, as once I tried to comfort him; he politely pushed me away as he asked if he could just have a few moments alone to sort himself out. I got to respect this from him, even though I wanted to rush to him and comfort him; but we tried to make Rebecca's moments with us a happier one, rather than the lot of us always breaking down every time we saw set our eyes upon her. We knew that she knew that we were sad, as she was very astute; and often it would be just some of her simple words that would put us back into a happy place, and for those few moments we would forget about the cancer that was eating away at her beautiful self, that we had no control over. Today was a good day as we managed to get Rebecca out and about, and just like the years previous we got her sitting under the magnolia tree; where she had her books and her favourite Mr Pipkins. Mother kept an eye out for her as she made a cup of tea for the nurse and herself, as I went into the fridge to get a cold drink as it was quite a warm day. I reached for two glasses, as I poured out some cola for Rebecca and myself, before going back outside where I sat with her under the magnolia tree. It was there that once again we began to engage in chit chat, when she asked me how things were with Greg.

"We are both fine Becca, I am hoping that he is going to come to see us this weekend, as I am sure he is due to do so." I told her

"I hope so too Manda, and I am so pleased that you and Greg are boyfriend and girlfriend; because I see how he loves you, and I know he will look after you." She replied.

"I think he will too Becca, but best not jump the gun yet and look for hats and dresses, because we are not planning on getting married yet." I told her as I pulled the blanket over her shoulders a little more.

"I think you will make a wonderful bride and wife Manda, because you have found yourself a very handsome and loving man." She said, as she put her hand onto mine; as the tears began to form in my eyes.

Having held onto her hand, I gave it a gentle squeeze as I thanked her for saying such a lovely thing; knowing that my little Becca would not be with me on the special day that I would need her the most. Still sitting upright I gradually composed myself, as I fought back the tears and slowly got onto a much brighter conversation. We chatted some more, as we spoke about the bully boy at school; and how Rebecca said that she thought I was going to thump him that day I approached him. Then we got talking about Uncle Stephen and her first words in Spanish, which made us both laugh as we because trying to say some more Spanish words; and what they sounded like in English. Rebecca then asked me if she thought she had done enough with her charity work, and if she had raised enough to make a difference.

"Oh God Becca, you have done so much; so so much my sweet little sister. You have changed the lives of so many children with all that you have done, please do not question if you have done enough or not. No one and I mean no one I know has done so much for others; like you have done sweetheart." I said, as I kissed her on the forehead and brushed her hair. Rebecca then turned her head towards me, and in a soft broken voice she spoke.

"I did not do enough in time Manda, to help my best friend Timmy. There is not a day that goes by, where he has not a place in my heart. I miss him so much Manda; and I was too late to help him."

Rebecca then began to cry, which made me cry. I placed my arms around her and told her that there was nothing that she could have done, and that she should not think like that. I told her that she had done far too much for others, but for the fact he was too poorly to be able to have been given any help. That she should always remember that he will always be in her heart, so long as she never ever forgets his name. I then again kissed her on the forehead, as I told her I was going to get some tissues; and another glass of cola for us. I made sure the blanket was over her shoulders, as I made my way back into the kitchen. Mother had noticed that my face was red and teary, as she asked me what was wrong; to which I told her that Becca and I had been having a walk down memory lane. I do not know what made me look out of the kitchen window, but I cast my eyes back towards the tree where Rebecca was sitting and noticed Rebecca was lying on the grass with her book tossed to one side as if she had fallen over.

"Mother, its Rebecca, mother something is wrong." I screamed as I quickly put my head round the lounge door, as I then made my way outside.

Mother and the nurse ran outside, where they noticed Rebecca laying on the floor lifeless. The nurse checked her pulse, and then shouted to phone an ambulance. My mother rushed into the lounge where she picked up the phone and called for an ambulance, as the whole house became a war zone of frantic emotion; as we were clueless to what was happening. Rebecca had stopped breathing, but the nurse managed to get her back; although her pulse was very feint. She was rushed to the hospital, and was quickly put on to a ventilator to help her breathe, where it was not too long before she came round and just looked at us; before falling unconscious again. Within the hour father had managed to get to the hospital, and as soon as he got to the ICU department he just broke down seeing all the tubes and wires over our beloved Rebecca. He made his way over towards mother, where she stood up and they just embraced as they both cried in each other's arms; then father placed his hand on my shoulder, as I too stood up and embraced my parents. Mother and father then sat down, as they stroked Becca's hair and spoke to her; whilst father also asked mother if anyone had been in to see her to let her know what was going on. We did not see a doctor for some time, as the only people we got to see were the nurses who came in to monitor Rebecca; and to see how things were progressing. I know they could not have done that much, but it was nice to see that they still had the time to come in and just check on her. Once the doctor made an appearance, he really did not have that much news to tell us; apart from that it was in the hands of Rebecca. After much deliberation between my parents and the doctors; the doctor suggested that we go home and the hospital would keep us informed. Mother was not going to have any of it, as she told the doctor that she would stay with Rebecca. Mother stayed at the hospital, as father phoned our grandparents to tell them that he was on his way home first before going down to pick them up. On the drive home, we were both caught up in that sombre of moments; as the journey seemed long and lonely. Once arriving at home, father again phoned grandpa and told him that there was no change, and that it was all down to Rebecca and what strength she may have left to fight. Father asked me if I would be ok, and I just told him that April was coming round to sit with me whilst I looked after the house, whilst he drove down to our grandparents to pick them up. It was later that evening that they all arrived, as they had woken me as I had fallen asleep on the sofa; and unknowing to me April had thrown a duvet over me, and had herself fell asleep in fathers chair. As soon and I saw grandpa, I ran into his arms and cried; as grandma then came over to comfort me, whilst father made a hot drink for all of us. Father sent a text to mother to see if there was any change in Rebecca, and he also text to see if she wanted to come home. It was not long when mother replied, and told him she wanted to stay, and that Rebecca was still unconscious; so father replied that he was coming back to the hospital, and that my grandparents and I would be there in the morning. Neither my grandparents, nor me could sleep that well that night, as many times I tried to get off but I couldn't as I kept calling out for Rebecca. Something was not right, as I had this niggling thought throughout the course of the early hours that kept on bugging me. I woke up very emotional, from the times I did manage to catch a bit of sleep; and ended up walking into Rebecca's room where I thought a few times I actually saw her just sitting on the bed. The following morning, just as we were having a late breakfast, father turned up to get a change of clothes for mother. He told us that there was still no change; and that as soon as he had showered; he would be going back to the ward in which he asked if we were still going with him. I never realised what such an impact like this would have had on our grandparents, because as soon as they got to the ward; grandma just broke down in tears, shortly followed by grandpa. They both stayed with mother the whole day, whilst father had a little bit of time out with me; as he broke down in my arms time and time again. Again I was the one who cried silently, as I became the shoulder for my parents and grandparents; where deep down inside I was an emotional wreck, as I was crying out for Greg's shoulder and for Becca to fight harder than she had ever done before. It was too much for my grandparents, and at the end of the day they had to go back to our home; as they could not contain their emotions. For them to get through this they looked after the house, and made sure that it was all in order; as going to the hospital proved too much for the pair of them. Three days later, my father drove my grandparents back home; as he thought it would be much better if they were in their own surroundings, as well as he thought that grandpa should take grandma to the doctors; because she was not doing so well coping with the situation.

It was now the fifth day, that Rebecca had been lying in bed still unconscious. Father had to go back to work, just to sort a few things out; and in the process he told me that he would drop me off at the hospital. It was a further four hours before Rebecca surprised us and came round, much to the delight of mother and me. But somehow I had a strange feeling of enlightenment, as I saw Rebecca gaze in awe towards us. She was still not quite herself, but both mother and I were grateful for the fact she held out her hands and grabbed both of ours. She did not speak to us like the cheery loud Rebecca that she was, it was more a soft spoken voice, but we were told that this was due to the medication. I looked over towards mother, who kept touching her cheek, and asked her if everything was ok.

"My cheek keeps tingling Amanda, and I cannot understand why; as there is not a draught in here is there?" Mother told me

"It's ok mommy." Rebecca told her in a soft feint voice.

"Sweetheart." Cried mother

"It is only grandma giving you a kiss." She whispered

"Grandma is not here Rebecca." Mother replied.

"She is mommy; grandma is always with me. She has told me to be very strong because everything will be alright soon." Rebecca said.

"Rebecca, please stop talking like that sweetheart. Grandma is not here it is just your medication that is playing tricks on you." mother told her

"No mommy, grandma is standing next to you. She has just told me that when you were seven years old; grandpa made you a tree swing in the back garden. You were wearing a pretty red dress with tiny white flowers all over it, and it had a lovely red bow on the back. You fell off the swing and hurt yourself, you hurt yourself so badly that you could not walk for nearly eight weeks, and you had to use crutches." Rebecca said.

Mother looked at her and looked shocked, as she told me that no one ever knew that story. Mother then held tightly on to Rebecca's hand as the tears started to fall down her face.

"It's alright mommy, grandma said that she is going to take care of me so please do not cry." Rebecca said, now holding onto mother's hand.

Mother then called out to her mother, as she asked her to help her little girl; with tears running down her face as she now became uncontrollable with her emotions, when Rebecca then looked at me and said.

"I love you Manda, please look after mommy and daddy for me. Love you lots Manda." She said.

"I love you too Becca, and we will both look after mommy and daddy when you get better." I replied as I began to cry.

"Love you mommy, and please tell daddy that I also love him very much." She told mother.

Rebecca then released her hands from mother and me and then raised them in the air, towards the end of the bed. She then positioned herself into the middle of the bed and slightly raised herself upright, when Mr Pipkins fell to her side; I then stopped plumping her pillows as I then picked up Mr Pipkins. Now with her arms open and facing towards the end of the bed, she called out to grandma; as mother looked at her and then looked at me in astonishment. With a blink of an eye, her arms dropped and the machines fell silent. It was then that there were panic and pandemonium all around, as the nurses and doctors came rushing into the room as they asked us to politely move out of the way. Mother became hysterical, as she could not contain herself with her tears.

"Amanda, my little girl; my sweet little girl." Mother cried

"Rebecca, wake up my little angel." I cried

"Oh my beautiful little girl, what are we going to do Amanda?" Mother cried profusely

I walked around the side of the bed to where mother was, and I ran into her arms; as we both lay our hands onto Rebecca, calling to her to wake up; with tears now escalating down our faces. Just then a doctor and another group of nurses came rushing into the room.

"Mrs Daniels, I need you and your daughter to leave immediately." The doctor said.

He shouted to one of the nurses to take us to the family room, as another nurse brought in the respiratory machine. I was now in the same state as my mother, with my tears taking over, as I could not think straight. The nurse escorted us to the family room, where she told us that we should wait there until someone came in to see us. I held tightly onto mother, as we both cried into each other's arms. But no matter what I did to try and help her, I could not calm mother down. As we sat down I went towards the water machine and poured two cups, bringing one over to mother. She kept asking me what was going on, as the time was dragging by so slowly in her mind.

"She is in the best hands mother, I am sure the doctor will come and see us soon. Please try and calm down, I am going to call father to find out where he is." I said

Mother still could not contain herself, so I decided to go to the phone and give father another call.

"Dad, dad it's Amanda, where are you? Please can you come to the hospital; it's Rebecca?" I cried

Father then told me to stay calm, as he was on his way over; as he had been delayed in traffic. He told me to go back to mother, and to tell her he is on his way. I told him where about we were; and asked him to hurry up as I cried down the phone. Father only worked down from the hospital and what seemed like forever and a day was only fifteen minutes; and just as mother was beginning to calm down father pushed the door open as he rushed in. He came and sat between mother and me as we both fell into his arms as he comforted us, as he took charge of the situation; and asked us what the doctors had said, and what were they doing?. Another twenty minutes went by before the doctor came in to see us, and it was then we knew that Rebecca had left us.

"I am so sorry Mr and Mrs Daniels, we tried everything to no avail; I am afraid she has gone." The doctor told us

My mother fell to her knees, as she burst into tears; with me kneeling beside her as I wrapped my arms around her. Father then placed his hands on mother, lifting her up as he held her close to him; as he offered his hand to me. The three of us were standing there holding one another and we all cried continuously. The doctor then put his hand onto my father's shoulder as her then said.

"She put up a good fight, coming back twice. Sadly it was too much of a fight as her body could not cope with all of the strain. I am so sorry Mr and Mrs Daniels, I am so sorry for your loss."

My father then turned towards the doctor and thanked him for all he had tried to do for Rebecca. The doctor then told us that if we waited for a few minutes, the nurses are redressing the room and that we can spend a few minutes with Rebecca. We all sat down as father now was comforting mother, and although I was not as bad as mother now with the amount of tears she sobbed; I held back as father held me close by him. I then looked at mother and softly cried

"She is no longer suffering mother, our little angel is now at peace and is with grandma."

"You have been amazing Amanda, I do not know what I would have done without you. But please forgive me because my heart is breaking." She cried

"I know mother, I am hurting too. My beautiful baby sister has gone." I told her as I also cried

"Come on both of you, let's dry our tears and compose ourselves to go and see Rebecca for one last time." Father told us, as he fought to hold his emotions for the sake of mother and me.

The nurse then came towards us, as she told us that Rebecca was now ready for us to have our special moment with her. We walked down the corridor to where they had her resting, with the blinds closed to stop any on lookers; where we then proceeded through the door to see an angel lying before us. The nurses had made the bed around her, with her arms out of the bed as she held Mr Pipkins. Her hair had been brushed immaculately as it rested over the pillow as it encased her face. Mother then began crying, but not so much frantically as before, as it was more the cry of loss and despair. The nurses had placed a chair either side of the bed, so mother sat down on one side, as she stroked Rebecca's face as she kept calling out her name. Father leaned over Rebecca, as he placed a kiss on her forehead; then he placed his arms around her, as he brought her close to his chest; where he called out her name and asked her to forgive him as he wept. He then laid her back down on her pillow, as he repositioned her as she was prior to walking in the room; and then rested Mr Pipkins back into her hands as he asked mother to forgive what he had just done. Father then sat on the other chair, as he held Rebecca's hand as he too cried as he put his face onto her hand; asking her to once again forgive him for not being there to say goodbye; as mother then rested her hand onto his and told him that he would be alright. As much as I wanted to cry I could not, I just looked at Rebecca, and her words of look after mommy and daddy came ringing in my ear.

Do not get me wrong, I was not cold hearted; I just put my grief to one side, as I now had to be there for mother and father; as I had to be the one who was strong. My heart was desperate in the truest sense of that word, and there was no question of doubt that my heart too was breaking; as it was breaking in silence.

"My sweet sweet little Rebecca, I love you so much princess. I love you so much." Cried father, as he embraced her hand into his face, as he gently kissed her.

"My baby, my dearest sweet baby; I love you so much Rebecca, and I am sorry that I let you down because I did not see this coming." Mother cried, as she brushed her hand across Rebecca's face as she kissed her on the lips.

I then walked over to mother, and with my hand on her shoulder I placed my mouth by her ear; where I told her that she had never let Rebecca down, that she was always there and always cautious about her health. I then walked over to father, and with the same motion as I did for mother; I whispered in his ear that Rebecca loved him just as much as he loved her; and that she is watching over us now as we say our special goodbyes. I placed my hand over fathers and Rebecca's, and with the faintest of voices and cries I said.

"My sweet dear sister, I miss you, and I will always love you and I will never forget you Rebecca. You will always hold a special place in my heart, and it is a place that only a sister can hold and cherish….."

Father then interrupted as my emotions became overwhelming, as he placed his arm around my waist and pulled me onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as I cried onto his shoulder. My father then released his hand from Rebecca's as he embraced me and held me tight; as he too cried with me as we both held each other.

"I miss her so much dad, it is not fair. My heart is breaking dad." I cried

"I know sweetheart, so is your mothers and mine. I wish I could fix it Amanda, I mean I can fix a mortgage or a bank loan; even bank accounts, but I am afraid I cannot fix your broken heart. Only you can do that, but please remember that mother and father will always be here for you." He replied, in that broken croaky voice of his.

He looked at mother and told her that he was going to take me out of the room, as he thought it was too much for me. She looked at him and just nodded, as father walked me out of the room, and kept me close by him as we made our way to the family room. Within a minute or so a Macmillan nurse came into the room and father asked her if she would kindly sit with me as he fetched his wife. The Macmillan nurse sat next to me, as she allowed me to rest my head on her shoulder; as she spoke softly to me and helped me raise the dark cloud that had been looking over my emotional state since receiving the news of Rebecca passing. What seemed like an eternity was most likely several minutes; as mother and father then came into the family room to where I was. I got up and ran into mother's arms as she hugged me and told me not to cry. The Macmillan nurse stayed with us for a further twenty minutes, before we made our way out of the hospital to the car, where father drove us home.

It had been four days since Rebecca passed away, and apart from mother and father going to the hospital chapel to see her; I had to stay at home as I could not get myself motivated to see her as she rested; and I did not want to get myself into a state of regression, as I wanted to get myself into a manner of calm. For me to be able to cope with this loss, I still say that Becca passed away underneath her magnolia tree in grandma's arms. I believe to this day that grandma told her to come back to us, so that she could let us know that things will be alright. To come back to us so that she was able to say goodbye properly; and to make us aware that she will always be with us. The doorbell suddenly rang, and as father went to answer it; I heard a familiar voice. I heard father call him son, and I knew then that it was Greg. He came straight into the lounge where I was with mother, and I just ran into his arms; as I cried into his shoulder.

"Oh Greg, I am so glad you are here." I cried.

"I would have come sooner, but I had to wait for approval from the Dean, as well as get my train tickets. April will be round to see you in the next few days as she is tied up with one of her exams." He replied.

He then kissed me on the lips, as he made his excuses to go and see mother. He held her in his arms and told her how sorry he was, now with a tear running down his sweet face. To say that Greg had really grown fond on Rebecca was an understatement, as he always said along with his sister; he would always have three special girls in his life.

"Would you like a cup of tea Gregory?" Mother asked him in a soft whimpering voice

"Or would you like a scotch son?" Father asked.

"If it is ok with you Mr Daniels, I think a scotch would be perfect." He replied, still rather choked up.

He definitely took after my father, and I was so glad that my dad had Greg, because it was someone else to talk to other than his own dad. We all sat down as we began to converse, Greg holding onto my hand with his dear life. I was so pleased he had arrived, as I too had someone else to talk to other than my mother and father. Greg mentioned that we should try and get something to eat, as we all need to keep up our strength. None of us was really hungry, as we were all changing between laughing and crying. Greg then decided to go into the kitchen to make a pot of tea, when father decided to give him a hand. They had been there a while when I decided to go and see what was taking so long. As I opened the kitchen door, my father was in a flood of tears as Greg comforted him. My dad was laying his head on Greg's shoulders as Greg held him tightly. I walked in and Greg held one of his arms open, so I ran into his arms as I also held my father, also comforting him as he again broke down. I then finished off making the tea, and went back into the lounge to make sure mother was ok, as I left Greg still holding my father, and gave them time to compose themselves before they too came into the lounge. We did nothing but chat that day, as we took a trip down memory lane; and then father had a lengthy phone call with my grandparents, who told him that they were making the journey up to London. My father looked at Greg and said.

"Are you going around to your mothers, or would you like to stay here?"

"I think I will stay here if it is ok with you? I will go and see my mother later today to let her know I am here safe and sound?" He replied

"That's fine Greg, I am sure Amanda will be grateful for your company; as we are." He said.

"I will ask if I can make a phone call though, if you do not mind dad." He asked

"No we don't mind, help yourself Greg. Are you going to let your mother know you are here?" He said

"Yes, I think it is best if I let her know I am here now otherwise she will worry." Greg replied

"You're a good lad Greg, and we thank you for being here." Father replied

So after Greg phoned his mother to put her mind at ease, he returned back to the lounge; and then told us that he will fetch a takeaway. We still did not have much of an appetite, but we did eat what we could. And once we had finished what we could all manage Greg took the dishes into the kitchen and placed them into the dishwasher. Mother had by now got all the photographs out, and as she went through them you could see her mind working overtime. Greg took a pile of photographs, and to change the atmosphere; he picked out some funny pictures which put us in a much happier frame of mind. When it was time to go to bed, mother and father gave us a kiss, and told us not to stay up too still had no problems with Greg sleeping in my room, as nothing had ever happened before. We ended going to bed shortly after mom and dad, and once we had a wash and brushed our teeth; we jumped into bed and just cuddled up. That night Greg held me close to him, as I had an evening of mixed emotion. Before going to sleep I lay my head on Greg's chest and just cried.

"I want my sister back Greg, my heart is breaking and I can't handle it. She was still a child Greg, she was only fourteen and still a child."

"I am here Amanda, and I know just how much you are hurting. I would like to have her back too, but we have to try and let go. I bet Rebecca is looking down at you now smiling, and would not want you to be upset." He told me, as he stroked my hair.

"It's just not fair Greg; she did so much for everyone else, yet nothing could be done for her." I cried

"I know Amanda, and life is not always fair is it babe? Just think of all that she has done for other people, and let us think of what she would be doing now." He replied.

"I am her older sister Greg, and it was my responsibility as a sister to look after her and I failed. Now she has gone, and I can never say goodbye to her; or hold her, or tell her that I am sorry." I cried

Just then father knocked on the door, and popped his head round the door.

"You two ok?" He asked.

"Yes dad, just Amanda is a little upset." Greg replied

"Ok Greg, Amanda; try and get some sleep." Father said, as he said goodnight and closed the door behind him.

Over the next few days, we were trying to come to terms with the loss of Rebecca; amongst the quietness and of the many tears with the swell of sympathy cards that came flooding through the letterbox, starting mother off with each one we opened. The place was so different without Rebecca and it took us a while to get used to the fact she was never coming back. We were fortunate enough to have been given a bereavement councillor from the hospital; that came and spoke with us whenever we needed her. It was because of her, that we were able to concentrate on the positive side of Rebecca; although it was a proving to be more of a difficult task for my parents and grandparents. Mother kept Rebecca's room closed, so that she could go into her room for her own private time; without us worrying about her; so that she could feel close to her as she cried out in pain. We all had our own way of closure, as I had so many lovely memories; that it was those that helped me mend a little quicker. It was only when I found myself being in the house alone, did the loss of Rebecca hit me hard. As many times I expected to see her sitting on the couch with a blanket and Mr Pipkins, or when I was doing the dishes; to see her sitting under the magnolia tree. Those were my worst moments for a while, until I was able to manage the array of emotions that flooded through my body; as I too had my good and bad times.


	20. The Funeral Honors

The Funeral Honours

It was now the day of the funeral, and the cars were going to turn up at 11am. We could not believe the amount of flowers that were placed outside against the side wall, and on our lawn from neighbours and friends. The community knew that she loved teddy bears, and there were so many little teddy bears on the pavement with wishes and love from people not just from within our community, but also from further afield. The cars had turned up on time, and my parents and grandparents were in the first car, whilst Greg, April and I were in the second car with Uncle Stephen; as it was too much of a strain for my aunty and my cousins to attend. Walking outside it was hard not to shed a tear as we saw the hearse with the white coffin behind the glass that had garlands of pink flowers around the coffin itself; as the bearers were putting some of the flowers around her that were on the lawn. Mother had previously placed Mr Pipkins in Rebecca's arms so that she had company from her favourite bear, and we all thought that this was such a lovely thought as it would have been something Rebecca would have asked us to do for her. There were flowers at one side of the coffin with her name spelt out, and on top of the coffin a beautiful cross of green, with white calla lilies and trailing ivy cascading from the centre of the cross, with a single pink rose placed into the centre. As we stood by the cars, there was not a dry face in the street; as the street was full of her friends, and her school friends; and all those in the street who simply loved her who congregated to say their final farewells to a special little girl, from an ordinary street in London. Mother almost collapsed as she saw the turn out from the community, and mother had to be supported by father, as grandma was supported by grandpa. April held onto Uncle Stephen, as Greg held onto me as he opened the door for us both, and then once inside I placed my head on his shoulder, with my arm underneath his as I cried. The two miles to the church was a slow and emotional journey, with the streets being lined from all the people whose hearts Rebecca had touched. The police had closed the roads, as we made our way to St. Matthews C of E Church; where there were cameras placed throughout the journey, as the funeral was being televised on the local news. As we arrived at the church, there was a brief delay as the cameras needed to catch up slightly so that they could film us going into the church, as Rebecca was then carried in behind us. The footpath to the church was lined with the nurses and doctors from the hospital, as well as some of the charity organisers; whilst the church inside was full to the brim, as we walked to take our places before they then carried Rebecca to head of the alter. We were addressed by the priest, who said a few words on our behalf; as we then prepared ourselves to sing one of Rebecca's favourite songs; which was all things bright and beautiful. When we had sat down, the president of the charity said a few words, as there was a slideshow of pictures from her life, and videos of her achievements. At the end of her slideshow, there was a moment of silence, before we were to all have a surprise, as the president of the charity announced that he had a special announcement that he would like to make; and then all of a sudden HRH Princess Diana came on to the large screen, where there she spoke these words

"It is always a sad loss when one has to bury a child. One has to remember all the goodness that this child has brought to us, rather than the sadness that we feel at this precise moment in time. The first time I had the pleasure of meeting Rebecca Daniels, I knew she was meant for greatness as her strength and her fight; was in itself a big achievement on its own. Rebecca put others in place of herself, and it is with this in which one remembers her so dearly. Her love for her fellow people, and her love for those with whom she cared for; and also shared with her the sadness of her illness is highly commended. Rebecca would always show strength, in the lowest of times; when we feel hope is just a memory, and that giving up is just an excuse not to be heard. Rebecca is the nation's sweetheart, as she has captured the very essence; of what it is like to stand high amongst those that she came in contact with. To give us all hope where we feel there is none, and to give us strength when we feel we are too weak to carry on with our day to day tasks. Rebecca Daniels is my hero, and one can only ever admit that her valiant young life will stay in my heart forever; as I feel it will also stay with all of us eternally. Rebecca is an inspiration to each and every of us, and one has to ask what separates us from any other individual in this world. The answer is plain and clear, for it is surely that individual that is special, for it is Rebecca Daniels. She once told me that she was not a real princess, well I feel that this nation of ours have indeed placed Rebecca on a much higher level; for not only is Rebecca the nation's sweetheart, she is also our nation's angel of hope. Let us not think of her illness and how it affected her, for let us think of the greatness she has done for others in her situation. I thank Mr and Mrs Daniels for bringing such a loving caring and concerning angel into our lives. God bless you Rebecca, for you will be solely missed."

The president of the charity then made a further comment, before handing back to the priest who said his final words before we left the church. We then left the church, as people held their hands together in respectful prayer; as we made our way to the cemetery which was just for family and friends; and away from the prying eyes of the camera lens.

It had been three months since we lost Rebecca, and I had constantly been there to help comfort mother. Father had gone into his shell, and hardly spoke about her without getting upset. And I tried my best to deal with my emotions, as well as those of my mother. This one day it was just too much for me, as I could no longer hold my emotions inside like I had done for so many months prior. Greg was on the sofa, as I started to cry.

"What's the matter babe?" He asked

I ignored him as I could barely speak, and then I just left the room and ran upstairs. I got to Rebecca's room and just sat on her bed as I could no longer hold onto what I had pushed to one side all these months as I just let it all my emotions run out of me. Greg then came upstairs and sat next to me.

"Don't push me away Amanda, you hold all your emotions inside and then take it out of me. You throw things about, instead of talking. Please let me in." He said

"It's just hard at times Greg." I replied

"We all feel your pain Amanda, and we know you are hurting; but you must talk to us." He told me, as he has his hand on my hand.

"Do you know how much I miss Becca, how guilty I feel and how lonely I am? I said

"Then tell me babe, you know you can tell me anything; I am always here." He replied

"There is not a day that goes by where my heart does not break, and there is not a day where I do not wish Becca would walk through the door. "I cried

"I know babe, we are all feeling it." He said as he comforted me

"I am hurting so bad inside and things do not seem to be getting any better. I have tried to hold my tears back, to help mom and dad, letting them think I have the strength to help them; when all I wanted was for them to comfort me and to tell me that everything would be ok. I held back my tears so that I could give mom and dad my shoulder, when really I was just crying out for them to offer me theirs." I sobbed

"Do you blame your parents then, for you feeling like this?" He asked

"No Greg, I don't blame them, but they never seemed to ask me if I am coping; I was hurting and I needed a shoulder too. It just feels that because I was there for them, that they seemed to take it for granted that I was ok; and they could not be more wrong." I cried uncontrollably.

"We never knew babe, you always seemed so on top of things." He told me

"At the funeral I kept quiet, as I held onto mother to comfort her; but deep inside I was breaking my heart. I just wanted to cry out, but knew mom and dad needed me Greg; needed me to be strong. It was hard holding back my tears and so wanted to just cry, but I made a promise to Becca that I would look after mom and dad and I could not break that promise." I replied still crying and holding onto Greg.

Then next thing I knew was father had come up the stairs, and he had seen me crying my eyes out in Becca's bedroom.

"What's the matter Greg, Amanda?" He asked.

Greg whispered in my ear to talk to dad, and I just let go of his hand as I stood up and ran into his arms.

"Oh dad, my heart cannot take the pain anymore. I miss Becca more than I can explain, and I want her back. I miss her dad; I really miss her so much." I cried

"Oh Amanda, you should have come to me and spoke to me, instead of holding this entire mass of guilt and emotion inside." He said, as he held me tight in his arms

"I couldn't dad, I had to be strong and positive for Becca's sake; because she would have wanted me to be strong and look after you." I told him in tears.

"We thought you were ok Amanda, because you seemed so strong. We thought you may have been talking to Greg about things, as we know how close you two are. You should have come to us Amanda, but I am here now for you." He replied

"All of my life Becca has been poorly, by going in and out of hospital; and I feel so guilty dad." I cried

"And why should you feel guilty sweetheart?" He replied

"Because it was too late to donate some of my bone marrow dad; I could have given her a chance of a successful recovery, and now it is too late. Why did the doctor's not ask me to do this dad?" I cried

"It was not your fault Amanda, her leukaemia was too advanced; there was nothing any of us could do. If you remember she was in remission; so there was never any doubt that her cancer would come back." He told me as he held me close to him.

"But I could have helped her dad, and now it is too late." I sobbed.

Father just held me there, as Greg got up and kissed me on the cheek as he went downstairs. I think seeing me so upset was too much for him, and he went to check on mother. When we got downstairs, he had by now told mother what had gone on, and mother was comforting him as he too was breaking his heart because he felt helpless.

"Come on sweetheart." Mother said

"I am so sorry mom, but I just could not help it. I really miss Becca so much." I cried

"I know you do Amanda, we all do. Greg is right, you should have told us, because we would never have let you suffer like this alone. Whenever we asked you if things were ok, you just said yes and fell silent. We are sorry we never saw the signs sweetheart, I think it was because we too were not coping." Mother said.

I then left mothers grip, as I noticed Greg walk outside. I walked through the kitchen and went out to the back garden, where again Greg was breaking his heart.

"I am so sorry Greg, I am really so sorry for hurting you." I cried

"You have not hurt me babe, it is just everything is too much. Like you I miss Becca, and like you I am hurting. I hurt because you are upset and I could not do anything about it, because I thought you were turning your back on me. I hurt because your mother and father are hurting, and they do not know what to do for the best. I love you with all of my heart Amanda, and I just felt helpless. I wanted to be there for you, but you had your guard up and it seemed like you were pushing me away." He told me

"I love you too Greg, I always have ever since we walked out of school after I gave the headmaster a mouthful. You were my hero, because you carried Becca all the way home. I just made a promise to Becca, and I did not think about how I would feel. I know she would not want me to hurt, but you are right; I put up my barriers. I am so sorry Greg." I cried

Greg then took hold of my hand as he pulled me towards him. As he was taller than me, he leaned down as he put his head into my neck as again he said.

"I would never hurt you Amanda; I can only ever love you. I want to be able to support you, and be there for you if you will let me?" He cried

"Of course I will let you, it's all out in the open now Greg; and I think I needed that outburst to let go." I told him.

We walked over to the magnolia tree, where dad had since put a bench at one side. Greg and I sat there for what seemed hours talking, reminding ourselves of the things Becca did, of the fun times and the bad; as we laughed and as we cried. Then father came to the back door and asked if we were both ok, in which Greg just put his thumb up to say yes. None of us was quiet prepared for Rebecca passing away, as she had always managed to fight anything that life put in her way. Mom and dad felt guilty, as they kept saying that they should be buried before us children; that no parent should have to bury their child. I knew that mom and dad felt empty, because that was how I felt. I had a massive hole to fill, and that hole was my Becca. I also felt guilty, and was very confused about the whole situation. She was clear of leukaemia once, so how on earth did it come back? Mother and father also argued constantly with each other, about what they could have done differently to protect her; and they thought that they had failed as parents; and it was because of that situation that I put my feelings aside. They were often angry and bitter towards the hospital, towards the doctors, towards themselves and even towards God, and we were not regular church goers. They would be watching the television, and sometimes there were programmes that showed parents who could not look after their children properly. It was then that my parents would resent these parents, and quiet often say that they were unfit to have children. She would often say that these children missed out on a family life, and at worse were put into care; yet our Rebecca did not have that choice as she was taken from us; and how unfair life was.


	21. A Magnolia Tree Blossoms

A Magnolia Tree Blossoms

This one day, mother was catching up on some of her programmes she had missed through the week, as I was in the kitchen clearing the dishwasher and doing the few loads of washing that had accumulated; when I then heard mother cry.

"I have failed Ted."

"No you have not Pam." I heard him reply.

"I tried my best to protect her, and I failed her. It should have been me who died; not my little girl." She sobbed

I then came out of the kitchen, and just stood in the doorway of the lounge when father replied.

"You have protected her Pam we both have, but it was just not good enough; we could not help her beat it."

"I would gladly give my own life to bring her back Ted, to spend just one more time with her." She told him, as by now father was holding onto her hand.

"I know Pam, we all would. She is in God's hands now Pam." He said as she took his hand away from hers and stood up in a rage.

"Don't you talk to me about God, for Christ's sake Ted; What kind of God would take away the life of an innocent child?" She cursed

"I don't know Pam; I was just saying it metaphorically. We have to now think that she is at peace." He told her as he stood up and put his hands onto her shoulders

"Why didn't he bloody take away her leukaemia, and give us our little girl back?" She told him, still in a flood of tears.

"Because I guess it is God's way Pam." He replied

"God's way indeed, it is a selfish way I know that. What kind of God would help your child get over the first episode, only to give it her back a few years later? What kind of bloody God, would take a child away from their family, after she has done so much to help others. I want her back Ted, and to hell with what God thinks. There is no God in my eyes Ted, not after he can do this to us. She was a child for Christ's sake; she was only fourteen years old ted." She cursed, now in a right state.

"Pam, you have to put your faith in God; and you have to let him in otherwise he cannot help you." Father told mother.

"Why should I let him in Ted? I do not understand why I should let this so called God in; when he has taken away my little girl." She cried.

"So that you are able to start healing Pam, you have to let Rebecca go, and you have to let God in your heart. The love God has for you will help with learning to come to terms with the loss of Rebecca; if you only open up your heart to him." Father explained.

"You have been talking to your mother for too long Ted, because I do not believe in a God; who can take away the life of an innocent child." She said, again cursing.

"That is a shame Pam, because he believes in you." Father replied.

"Enough of this Ted, if you want to go down that road; then that's your choice. But for Christ's sake, do not expect me to follow you. I say it now and I say it clear, that there is not a God; because no God would take away the life of a child." She shouted

It was then that father just broke down, and together they cried as they comforted each other. I could no longer hold my emotions in, and looked at father who could now see the tears rolling down my face; as I stood in that doorway alone.

"Oh dad, mom." I sobbed, as father held out his hand; as I ran towards them, now the three of us crying together comforting each other.

Mother and father had separated themselves from each other those first few months, as they continued to argue. Father would stay longer at work, coming home later each night; as mother went into her shell and threw herself into the housework, always making sure she had something to do. It was an awful time for me, as it felt like they did not recognise my pain. I don't think that they fully realized, that not only had I lost my sister; but I had also lost my best friend. They did not show any feeling towards me, and it felt as though they shut me out. I often told myself, that it would have been better if I had died and not Rebecca; as they did not seem to miss me that much. It was not until father had a weekend with my grandparents alone, that things seemed to change when he got back. He told me he was sorry for closing the door on me, as he started to spend more time with me. We often spoke about Rebecca, and over time we helped each other to heal. I learnt that mother would come round when she was ready, and I no longer resented her as I knew grief was such a short word, with the biggest of impacts on anyone's emotions; and it was up to the person grieving at the end of the day, when they were ready to descend from their darkness. Mother needed time to grieve the only way she thought that was best for her, that was her way and we had no reason to say anything different. As much as it hurt me seeing her cry alone in Rebecca's bedroom, I knew that this was natural for her and in time she would come around and feel at peace.

This one day I suggested to mother, that on Rebecca's birthday; we never forget her. That we would have a little party just for her, just the three of us as we look at her pictures; and tell stories just so she is always with us. Mother confided in June who helped a lot, as she spoke about Timothy; and what the two of them used to get up to at the hospital with playing tricks on the nurses. Especially the one day they went missing, and the nurses hunted high and low for them; only for them to jump out of the lined cupboard and made them jump. I lost mother for almost a year, but once she learnt to cope with her loss; I got some of her back. It would not be until the year after Rebecca's passing that mother and I really come together. I was also very thankful for having April and Greg, as Greg phoned me four or five times a day; and constantly text me to check on me. He was my rock, as he would talk about silly things just to make me smile. He would help me reminisce about the good times with Rebecca; and help me stay clear of the negative times until I could control my emotions and talk about it freely without upset. My father too was there for me, as when the times got too bad for mother and she just wanted to be left alone; then father would take me into town and spend a little time with me to help both of us cope. It took father almost a year before he lost the guilt that he endured, with not being at the hospital at the time when Rebecca passed. I can honestly say that my father was a changed man from that day, as he so often kept everything bottled deep down inside of him. I know that it affected him dearly, as I often heard him cry silently as I would go about my everyday chores and tasks as I heard my father sob; but quickly dry his tears when I went by. How he became distant towards me, but not in a negative way; as I had grown to understand that he needed time to heal. I was fortunate enough to have Greg phone me every day, and to be able to have some form of solitude with April; where I could just get out of the house and continue some sort of life. Father had gone into his own shell of grief, which sometimes over spilled into the many arguments that he and mother had. Mother used to go to the cemetery every week to put fresh flowers on Rebecca's grave, as well as sometimes to just get away from the arguments that her and father got into. As a family we were all feeling it, and I do have to thank the special care team for stepping in; because I do not know what we would have done without their help. Father still has his days where he cries, just like mother does; but we are back how we used to be as we talk more now.

It had been just over a year since Rebecca had passed, and mother had only just got back to her usual routine after much support from family and friends. Rebecca's passing had affected both my mother and father very badly; and I had to grow up very quickly to support my family. I took a year out from university, to concentrate on helping mother and father, as I also needed to get time out from my studies. Within that year my grandma passed, as she could not cope with the loss of Rebecca; as it was too much for her to cope with. This also made grandpa poorly, as not only was he coping with losing Rebecca; he now had to cope with losing grandma. Father took some leave from work to help look after grandpa, and at weekend mother and I would go down and see them where we tried to take grandpa's mind off things. We knew that grief affected people differently, and although like mother my heart broke every day not having Rebecca around. Grandpa now had no one, and his life became very lonely as he felt very lost. Mother limited herself to going to the graveside now every three to four weeks, where father could still not get himself to go; as he often said that he could not look at a grave stone as he would much rather relish in the happy memories he had of Rebecca, that was stored away in his mind; as well as the many photographs we had accumulated over the many years.

This one day as I was helping mother tidy the house, and generally help her with the chores; I noticed a bright light shine through the window, yet felt puzzled as it was a bit of a cloudy day; and I then got a brief smell of magnolia, and wondered if mother had sprayed the house just to freshen up the rooms. I do not know what made me do what happened next, but I looked out of the bedroom window, and could not believe what I was seeing. Sitting underneath the magnolia tree was my baby sister Rebecca, just as though nothing had happened. More unbelievable was the fact that the magnolia was in full bloom for the first time in ten years. I ran as quickly as I could down the stairs and managed to get to mother who was in the laundry room.

"Mother, Mother come quickly." I shouted

"What on earth is the matter Amanda?" mother replied

"It's Rebecca, she is outside." I said all hyperactive, still in shock of disbelief.

"Sweetheart, Rebecca has gone; please don't say things like that." Mother cried

"Trust me mother, come with me." I said, grabbing her hand

I almost pulled her arm off as I was running out of the kitchen door towards the back garden, still holding tightly onto her hand as I pulled her outside. By the time we got to the back garden Rebecca had since gone, but to mothers shock she just stood there and started to shake; as she noticed that for the first time Rebecca's tree had flowered. She then fell to her knees as she called out to Rebecca.

"Oh my sweet little girl, I miss you every day Rebecca. I miss you so much sweetheart, that I cannot express the words to tell you." Mother cried

"She never left us mother, she has always been with us but we could not see it. Now Rebecca has given us a sign that she is always with us, and that she will never leave us." I said, as now mother and I were sitting underneath the magnolia tree; as we felt a breeze of calm as our lips all of a sudden tingled.

"Did you feel that Amanda?" Mother asked

"Yes mother, did your lips do the same?" I replied

"Yes Amanda they did, Rebecca is here with us; she has just given us a heavenly kiss." She said

We just sat there as we began talking to Rebecca, as we laughed and cried; but felt finally at peace. I then text Greg, as I told him what had just happened; as father had walked through the back gate and stood there himself in shock; as he saw mother and I under the now blossoming magnolia tree. I stood up ran to him, as I told him what had happened; and my father just broke down in tears. Now sitting under the tree with his arms around both mother and I, my phone bleeped as I looked to see that it was a text from Greg, telling me to give him five minutes. As father embraced us both, telling both mother and I that he was sorry and that he loved us so much; as he also told us that he thought he had failed as a father because of not being at the hospital when his little girl had passed. This got to mother, as she told him that he had not failed; even though at one point she thought exactly the same as she blamed herself. Just then my phone rang, and I began telling Greg what had happened; and how the magnolia tree is now in full bloom. He told me that he would see me that following Friday, as he was coming back to London for the weekend. I just cried my eyes out, as I told him that I loved him. Once I hung up the phone, my father opened his arms to me, and I sat in between mother and father as we spend time talking about Rebecca, and how it was now time to get on with our lives to the best of our ability; knowing that she would always be with us.


	22. Life Without Rebecca

Life Without Rebecca

Life was never the same without Rebecca, but we had to learn to deal with the grief. Since the magnolia tree blossomed, it did give us a moment of peace; and although I was so lost and lonely, it was a good thing that I had taken a year out of university as I do not know how I would have got through it; without the support of Greg, April and my parents; once I have my emotional breakdown. If it were not for the Macmillan nurses I do not know what would have happened; as they came to see mother and father regular, and helped them come through their dark moments. They also sat with me in my bedroom and helped me to face up to what I was going through; as they supported me through the lonely times, and helped me focus on the good times I had with Rebecca. No one ever prepares you for the loss of a child, a sister a good friend, and no one ever is quite sure how to address the subject of cancer, because cancer is not prejudice, it will take anyone no matter if you are white black yellow, adult or child, boy or girl. It is a disease that does not care who it affects and who it takes, but with the help we had from those wonderful Macmillan nurses, they made our lives better with the amount of hours they put in to looking after us through after care. Yes we still think a lot of Rebecca, and there is not a day that goes by where she is not in our thoughts, but we have learnt to cope with it the best way that we can, and amongst all the aftercare we had, we all still have our moments where we just sit down and cry.

Rebecca was often told that she was a special girl, with a special gift. Her gift was the love towards other people, and the fact she wanted to help as much as she could. That fatal day that she lost her life, whilst we were grieving in the waiting room. We were then given a few moments to say our goodbyes to Rebecca, when Rosie and my father grabbed my hand and took me somewhere quieter so she could calm me down. Once one of the Macmillan nurses came into the room, my father then went back to mother, as I was comforted by Rosie and this other nurse. Father then told me that the doctors told him that Rebecca will always be remembered for being such a brave and courageous little girl; whose legacy would remain within the hospital, and with the hearts of those that she touched. He then walked out of the room, saying goodbye to Rebecca, and came into the waiting room to collect me where we made our way home.

Two years after Rebecca's passing, we had an invite to the hospital by the governors and charity directors. To our surprise, they had rebuilt a new ward, and named in in honour of Rebecca; in honour of the ten years she supported the hospital, by raising money for them and helping with their support. In the reception of the hospital, there still hangs a framed photograph of Rebecca today, as her legacy continues with other children from within the hospital; who have followed suit and helped to raise money and awareness of childhood cancer.

In the years to follow, I had since married my childhood sweetheart Gregory, and the loneliest thing on that day was not having my Rebecca as my maid of honour. Gregory being old fashioned as he was, asked my father's permission for my hand which I thought was very sweet of him. Greg became a politician and won the seat in the constituency of Haggerston, London.

The year is now 2026, and I have just turned 48 years old. I passed all my exams at university and after much hard work I am now head teacher at the primary school that Rebecca and I attended. Gregory and I have four children, three boys and a girl. There is Gregory junior, who is eighteen, twins James and John who are fourteen and little Rebecca April who is six years old. Rebecca April ironically was born on the same day as my sister Becca, and she has so many characteristics as her Aunty Becca. She often sits under the magnolia tree with her dolls, and I often find her talking to herself; but without saying anything I know she is talking to her Aunty Becca. I have never kept any secrets from my children, and often talk to them about their courageous aunty who brushed shoulders with Princess Diana and Kylie Minogue. Who never let her illness get the better of her, and how she taught us all never to give up. Rebecca's death was too much for my grandparents, as grandma died a year after Rebecca passed, with grandpa following six months after her; which the doctor put down on the death certificate as a broken heart. Once the will had been read, and everything was put into place, mother and father used to go to Ramsgate every weekend without fail where they stayed in my grand-parent's house; just to get away from the memories that quite often popped up without just cause. Five years later, mother and father took early retirement and moved into my grandparent's house in Ramsgate; as Gregory and I were given the family home as a wedding present from them. April ended up marrying Ian who became an actor who starred in one of the UKs favourite soaps; where they went on to have twin girls. Every weekend or so in the summer, they would come over to ours and we would have picnics in the garden and bbq's; where the children often ended up sitting under the magnolia tree, as we adults sat on more comfortable seats with a beer or glass of wine.

Today in the school holidays, we all go down to Ramsgate for our holidays, including the eldest who takes time out from his studies of being a doctor. And where people often ask me what it was like growing up in the shadows of cancer, but I tell them that not every day was dark and gloomy. Rebecca was not confined to bed twenty four hours a day; as we both still had a childhood. Yes I had to grow up quickly, but I can still reminisce about having a wonderful childhood with my little sister Rebecca. I just had more of a responsibility, than most children of my age; but there is no shadow of a doubt that I did not have a childhood, as I can still remember all of the fun times that I had, that we had.

Losing Rebecca made me value life more, and made me not take things for granted like so many I have known. Seeing Rebecca put others before herself, even in the light of herself being poorly, made me realise that it is far more worthy to go that extra mile for someone you do not know; as the rewards are far greater, which is also something I try and teach my young students.

I still see Rebecca in the house, as I see her in the things that my daughter does; in the things of what she says and how she acts. I have had a few times in my life where I have been low, and it is at these times I have felt her presence; which has often given me that lift I have so needed.

And all those years of Rebecca's tree, never flowering until the first time on the first anniversary of her passing, letting us know that she was still with us; and she will never forget us. It has never let us down since, as year after year that magnolia tree blossoms.


End file.
